With a Little Help from My Friends

I try on a few different outfits. What does one wear to a place called The Man Hole? It is a gay bar, right? God, it sounds like a gay bar. I just know it is a gay bar. Emily always had a flare for the strange. She could never be normal in high school. A normal girl has crushes on Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and Johnny Depp. But no, Emily was infatuated with R. Crumb, Stephen Fry, and Steven Jobs. The girl was weird. She would DJ at a gay bar. She fucking would.

In the end I settle for a plain black shirt, plain jeans, and my favorite sandals. Fuck it. I’ll go to this club, say hi, and dash out as soon as I can. She can’t get mad at me for that. It isn’t like I can talk to her. The music she’ll be playing will be far too loud. Yeah, this is a good plan.

Fuck. This is most terrible plan I have ever created in my life.

It takes me longer than it should to get to the club. I back track a few times, contemplating my decision. Music is thumping from behind the closed door. I could feel the vibrations. There is a long queue of men, and some women, waiting to get in. On the other side of the line were small clumps of people. Three girls were smoking together. One of them looked familiar, JurassKick Park. She tucks her wavy brown hair behind her ear. She was shorter than the two other girls, who were impressively tall and towering over Park. Park was wearing a different outfit from earlier. Now she was in a short green dress with white stockings. She poses the cigarette to her lips and looks past one of the Amazon girls at me. “WALK! Jon, yeah?” She excuses herself from the tall women and jogs towards me. Her green Converses shoes slam against the concrete.

I was tempted to run away and camp out in my apartment. Watching Dazed and Confused would be better than this. Pricking myself with a needle while listening to Harry Nilsson would be better than this. Lying on the floor and reciting the lyrics to Blackbird backwards would be better than this. Writing all my ex-girlfriend apology letters would be—

“Hey, man. Emily couldn’t stop talking about you earlier. She is excited that you are back. Come with me inside. She’ll fucking piss her panties from excitement.” The cigarette is flicked into the street. “You clean up well. I like this whole plain Jane look of yours.” She laces her fingers with mine, holding my hand. “My name is Victoria, by the way.” Tiny Victoria drags me past the security into the pulsing club. The beats of the song playing causes my body to tremble. It was infectious. Emily knows what she is doing. Victoria and I weave past people. There were men dancing together in provocative ways. I guess straight people dance like this, too. I don’t dance with a girl in this way because I can’t dance with a girl. I would step on her feet. I get too excited when I dance and forget about the person next to me. Their feet turn into paper as I stomp around.

Emily was centered at the back wall. She was standing on an elevated platform. Her body was hunched over the turntables. She scratched the records. Big headphones were slipping off her head like her tortoise shell glasses. Victoria leads me up the stairs. Emily tilts her head towards us. She winks and grins at us, then readjusts her focuses back to the turntables. The song switches from an electro song to “Lovefool” by the Cardigans. Emily shrugs off the headphones and rushes over to us. I am pulled into a tight hug. She, like Victoria and myself, went through a wardrobe change. The girl was wearing a black lacey dress, bright red tights, and Doc Martens. A necklace with skulls was dangling from her neck. “I’ve got like three minutes until this song is over. So what is up? YOU ACTUALLY CAME!” Her voice booms over the song. My body absently moves to the music. I am a fool for music.

“I’ll take over, Ems.” Victoria slides past Emily and replaces her. The big headphones look especially large on her since she is so petite.

My redheaded friend nods. “Play ‘Killing Me Softly’ after this, okay?” She shouts over her shoulder. I am pushed to the bar where it is surprisingly quieter. “So you came,” she says again.

“Yeah,” I say in a like-I-would-miss-this kind of way when I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be here. “You told me to come after all. I would do anything for you, Bugsy Merlo.” Somehow, by being near her I slipped out of my depression. When I am around people I am a completely different person. I forget about all my worries and inhibitions. I don’t care about all the problems I would be drilling through my mind when I am on my own. I think this is why I like being around Ryan, Spencer, and Brendon even though I bug the crap out of them, and them to me. I can be this stupid silly guy around them and Emily. Sad Jon is shed and falls to the ground. Jackass Jon takes his place.

She glares at me with a smirk on her face. “Cocky bastard.” Her head turns to the bartender who is a guy. He has high cheek bones, a strong jaw, jet black hair, and a widow’s peak. His porcelain white skin is startling. The man’s dark brown eyes smile at us before his lips do. “Hey Declan, this is my friend Jon.”

Declan looks me up and down. An approving smile is on his face. “Cute. What do want to drink, Jon?”

“Hennessy.”

“Just Hennessy?” His head cocks to the side.

Emily bursts with laughter when I say, “Yeah, dude.” Declan smirks. “What the hell is wrong with ordering Hennessy?” The two remain quiet. “Fine. I’ll get a Hennessy and Coke. Is that better?”

“Yeah. It is less butch. You want your usual, Bugs? Sangria?” Her head bobs up and down. “And a Tequila sunrise for little Victoria?” Emily gives him a thumbs up sign. Declan turns his back to us.

“Jeez, Jon. Fucking Hennessy. Way to start a night off. Hard.” She dances to the music. I roll my eyes at her. What the hell is their deal? It is just a goddamn drink. Judgey McJudgeyBitcheses. “So what do you think of Dec?”

I lean against the bar. “Ems, I just met him.” The man opens a coke can, pours half of it into a glass, and then tops it with my chosen poison. My phone buzzes with a text from Ryan. I ignore the message and look up at Emily. “What do you want me to think about him?”

Her big blue eyes roll in a bored way. “I want you to think he is interesting, duh. Declan is a God among men. Ain’t that right, Dec?” He looks over his shoulder at us. A confused look is on his face. It causes Emily to giggle. “He can make a blind man see and a deaf man hear that raspy sexy voice of his. He makes a straight man go gay, a lesbian to go straight, and gay men and straight girls fawn all over him. The guy is hypnotic.”

Three glasses are placed in front of us. “And I am trying to make an asexual give up celibacy.”

Blood rushes to Emily’s cheeks. “Have a fuck, you cheeky bastard. It’ll never happen.” She puckers up and makes a kiss noise. Declan laughs warmly at her.

“You are adorable, Emily. Will you marry me?” A few guys around us make gasping noises. I guess they were eavesdropping. I chuckle at their reaction.

Emily grabs her drink. “No, sir. You like men more than you like women anyway.” She sips the pungent drink. “Let’s get back to Vic before she fucks up. She turns to mush without me by her side, I swear.” She dances her way to the DJ booth. I pick up both mine and Victoria’s drinks.

I place a twenty on top of a coaster. “No, no, no,” Declan quickly refuses. “The girls get their drinks for free. It is cool. Keep your money, Hennessy.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad not paying for these. At least let me pay for mine.” I dig in my wallet for a smaller bill.

His warm hands clamp over mine. “Easy, man. It is okay. Your drink is on the house. I can’t let a cute guy buy his first drink here. It is on me. Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Declan.” He smiles again in that warm and inviting way. He could make a person suffering from frostbite melt in his presence. I tug at the collar of my shirt then pick up the drinks again.

Victoria snatches her drink out of my hand and places a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you, Walker. I’m going to need another one in like two songs.”

“What? I am supposed to get your next drink? I am not your slave, Vic.”

“DRINK BITCH!” She and Emily yell. They cackle together while grabbing onto another for support. Emily waves her hands about. “No, I got it, Walk. I can see how intimidated you are in Declan’s presence. I got it from here.”

I wanted to shove that comic book nerd down a flight of stairs, but I resisted the urge. Instead I take a long drink from my glass. It was perfectly mixed. Slowly I look back at the bar. Declan’s brown eyes wavered on me for a second then flitted away. Declan.