Hurricane

July 2006

I was glad to find that Brendon wasn’t in the apartment when I returned after work. I hadn’t told Pete about Brendon and me, and now I wasn’t sure what I should tell Brendon. I went straight to my room; I didn’t use it very often, but it was a nice place for me to think.

I laid on the bed, staring out of the window at the city, trying to make up my mind. What if Brendon got mad at me for not telling Pete? I doubted that would happen, but I was still nervous about it. I could just lie, but then I’d feel guilty. Though I might feel better if I decided I’d tell Pete really soon about it.

I heard the door of the apartment open and knew I had to make up my mind quickly.

“Molly?” Brendon called. I climbed out of my bed and went out into the main room of the apartment. Brendon smiled when he saw me. “Hey, beautiful. How was work?”

“It was fine,” I said, smiling back. “Kind of boring. What’d you do today?”

“Ryan’s in town,” Brendon said. “I had lunch with him and then we were talking about what we might want to do with our next album.”

“Ryan’s in town?” I asked. “You should have invited him over!”

“I told him he could come over tomorrow or something,” he said. “I want to spend the evening with just you.”

“Oh yeah?” I questioned with a smile. “And what did you have in mind for this evening?”

“I thought we’d order some Chinese food,” Brendon started. “Maybe watch a movie and cuddle.”

“That all sounds wonderful,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “Let me go find a menu then.”

I watched Brendon go to the kitchen and dig through the drawer where we kept our take out menus. He hadn’t asked me if I had told Pete, so I guess technically it wasn’t lying if I didn’t tell him. I’d have to tell him soon though. I didn’t like this feeling of guilt that was starting to form in me.

---

Two weeks passed and I still didn’t have the courage to tell Pete about Brendon and me. Luckily Brendon and Pete hadn’t talked or hung out in a while—Pete was always busy with something. I knew I had to tell him soon because I had this gut feeling that somehow this would all backfire on me.

Pete called me in the morning before I normally left for work to tell me he had a few things he needed me to do at his apartment. He gave me the address and I took a taxi. I’d never been to Pete’s apartment before.

When I got there, I was surprised to see how clean it was.

“I’m glad this is nothing like your office was,” I said. “I don’t think I would have cleaned your apartment for you.”

“Even if I offered you more money?” he asked, grinning at me.

“Nope,” I said. “I don’t like cleaning. So what did you want me to do here?”

“Well… first, did you eat breakfast yet?” he questioned.

“I had a cup of coffee,” I answered.

“That’s not breakfast,” he said. “I made some waffles.”

“Who knew you could cook?” I asked. I followed Pete into his kitchen where there was a little table with two plates on it. There was a stack of waffles on the table.

“Help yourself,” he said. I sat down and put a waffle on my plate.

“So, other than feeding me breakfast what else am I here for?” I asked as I began to eat my waffle.

“It’s a surprise,” he said. I rolled my eyes.

“Are you gonna eat any of these waffles?” I asked.

“I already had one,” he said, standing from the table. “I have to go get some things ready for the surprise. Come find me when you’re done eating.”

“Okay,” I said. I listened to Pete move into the apartment. I had no idea where he was going, but I hoped his apartment wasn’t too complicated for me to navigate.

I finished my waffle and placed my plate in the sink, rinsing it off a bit. I sighed before heading out of the kitchen to try and find Pete. The kitchen exited into the living room and I saw hall that went out of the living room. I went down the hall and looked in the first room. The door was open so I peeked inside and saw that it was the bathroom.

“Pete?” I called. There was a door at the end of the hallway that was open so I decided to look in that room next. I’d feel weird looking in the rooms that had their doors closed. I entered the room, realizing that it was his home office. I was glad to see that this one was actually clean and organized. I really didn’t want to do any of his cleaning again.

I saw on the desk that there were printouts of some of the photos from the Clandestine photo shoot. The one of Pete and I was on top and I picked it up, getting a closer look at it. It really was a great picture. It was hard to believe we had never taken any pictures together when we had been a couple.

“You want a copy of that one?” I let out a shriek, turning around quickly to see Pete standing in front of me, looking please at successfully scaring me.

“You’re an asshole,” I said, hitting his shoulder. Pete grinned and took the picture from my hand, reaching around me to put it on the desk. It was then that I realized just how close Pete was standing. I wanted to take a step back but Pete’s desk was in the way. “So what’s the surprise job you have for me?”

“There’s no job,” Pete said. “I just wanted to spend some time with you. I feel like we haven’t really hung out in a while.”

“We work together,” I said. “I see you all the time.”

“Yeah,” he said. “But that’s work. I thought it would be fun to just hang out and catch up.”

I met his eyes and Pete smiled at me. He reached up and brushed some of my hair out of my face. I crossed my arms.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked. I rolled my eyes.

“No,” I said. “But you could have just told me you wanted to hang out with me.”

“I didn’t know if you’d go for it,” he said. He moved closer slightly and I uncrossed my arms and pressed my hands on his chest in an attempt to push him away.

“Pete,” I said.

“What?” he asked. His hands were over mine now and he pulled them away from his chest easily. Before I could protest, Pete’s lips were pressed against mine and before he could force his tongue passed my lips, I was pushing him away with more face.

“Pete, I can’t do this,” I said.

“Why?” he asked. “I really think we should give us another shot.”

“It’s not going to work, Pete,” I said. I tried to move around him to leave the office, but his hands gripped onto my waist, holding me back.

“Just tell me why you don’t want to give this another chance,” Pete said. I avoided eye contact. This was my chance to tell him about Brendon. I was just scared of how Pete would react when he found out. “Why?”

“Because I’m with Brendon now,” I said quietly. Pete’s grip loosened on my waist and I stepped away from him. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a few weeks now… I just was scared of how you’d react.”

“I already knew you were dating Brendon,” Pete said quietly. I looked at him in disbelief.

“What? How?” I asked.

“Ryan told me a few weeks ago,” Pete said. “Brendon told him, and then he told me.”

I thought about it for a minute. I can’t believe Pete already knew.

“If you already knew, then why did you kiss me?” I asked, starting to feel angry.

“Because I love you,” Pete said. “I just want you back. I hate that Brendon get’s to be with you and I don’t.”

“That doesn’t matter!” I said. “We’re not together anymore and we haven’t been together in a while. I’m with Brendon now. If I wanted to be with you, I wouldn’t be with Brendon.”

“I think there’s still a part of you that’s in love with me,” Pete said, stepping towards me and placing his hands on my shoulders. “You just don’t want to admit it to yourself.”

“No. I love Brendon,” I said. “I don’t want to be with you.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that,” he said. I met his gaze, hesitating for a minute.

“I don’t want to be with you,” I said.

“No,” Pete said. “Look me in the eye and tell me you still don’t love me.”

“Pete,” I said.

“Tell me,” Pete said. “Say it to my face. Tell me you don’t love me.”

“I don’t need to say it,” I said.

“Yes, you do,” he said.

“No,” I said. “I love Brendon, and that’s all that matters.”

I tried to back away but Pete moved closer. My back hit the wall.

“I know you still love me,” Pete said, pressing his body against mine. I shuddered. I didn’t like that I actually enjoyed this feeling. “Even if you don’t want to admit.”

Pete attached his lips to my neck before moving them to my jaw. His lips touched mine for a moment.

“Pete,” I said. I wanted to stop, but with Pete’s body against mine and his lips heatedly kissing my own, Brendon was the furthest thing from my mind. And I hated myself for that.