Could Tell a Love 2

Night of the bachelor party...

I don’t know why the hell Eric invited Daniel. He just causes problems, I swear. I never forgave him for what he did with Eric, and I’m pretty sure I never will. He’s been staying clear of me since that night, and I’m not minding it one bit. Takes a lot of the stress of my life off my shoulders knowing that he’s staying away.

"Alright, I’ve got every kind of Boonze Farm they had, two huge things of rum, a shit load of Coke, beer, of course, and tequila shots." Matt said, taking the booze out of all the brown paper bags and setting them on the hotel room tables.

"Enough booze? Geez." I said, examining every different flavor of Boonze Farm.

"Shh, I bought some non-alcoholic drinks as well, for the guys here who don’t care for booze like the rest of us." Matt said, pointing to the two cases of water and three cases of soda.

"Do we really need all of this? There’s only 7 guys here." Jared asked.

"Of course! We will drink all this." Casey said, grabbing one of the beers out of the box. "Even if we have to force a few down in Beau."

I laughed. "That’s not gonna happen. I really don’t feel like getting wasted tonight."

"Aw, come on, man! It’s your BFF’s bachelor party! You gotta get wasted! At least a little bit." Mike said, offering me a beer.

I contemplated on whether to accept it or not. The last time I got drunk was in Hawaii, and that was not a fun next morning. Maybe the same luck won’t arise this time. "What the hell. A few won’t hurt." I took the bottle out of Mike’s hand and started drinking it.

The rest of the night past in a blur. One beer lead to another and another lead to Boonze Farm and tequila.

I could barely move the next morning without feeling queasy. I realized I was laying on someone’s chest, and, thankfully, it was Jared’s, who was sound asleep. Matt was falling off the end of the bed, and Mike was passed out on the floor. Eric and Daniel, I saw, were in the other bed. I immediately got suspicious at what those two could’ve done last night. Drunk or not, they shouldn’t have if they did.

I really had to get up, but if I got up, I would puke, but might as well get it over with. I sat up quickly, running into the bathroom to puke, pretty sure that I stepped on Mike in the process. Once I fell over in front of the toilet, totally drained of everything that was once in my body, I noticed that Jared and Mike were up.

"Mmmorning." I said groggily.

They gave me half smiles and looked as sick as I felt. I moved out of the bathroom so they could do what they needed to.

After everyone woke up and relieved themselves of all the alcohol consumed from the night before, we all got dressed and tried looking half presentable so we could go out for breakfast. We were all thinking George Webb’s.

"Ugh. I don’t feel like going anywhere." Eric said, rubbing his eyes, dragging his feet forward towards our cars.

"Well there’s no food in the room, and I’m starving. No free donut down in the lobby’s gonna fill me up, either. I just puked my guts out, now I need to be filled up again." I said, getting into the car, yawning, Jared following groggily, Casey and Matt in the backseat. Since I was the only one that could really navigate around this part of town, I lead everyone to George Webb’s.

Once we were all ordered up and good with coffee, I rested my head on the back of the seat and closed my eyes, extremely close to falling asleep.

"So what did you two do last night that you ended up in the same bed?" Matt asked, yawning, taking another drink of his coffee, which was loaded with creams and sugars.

Eric looked down, laughing a little, and Daniel blushed, smiling.

I knew right then and there what had happened. If I hadn’t been so hung over, I’d been all over them about what they did. Jared had the same hard, pissed off look on his face. When Eric and Daniel looked up again, their smiles and blushes faded and they continued to look at the table. Matt looked at everyone and kept his head down, too, probably not wanting to get involved.

When I couldn’t contain all the questions, I let them out. I put my fork down and wiped my face quickly with my napkin, not having much of an appetite anymore. "Eric...why?"

"I was drunk." He said simply.

"Not a good excuse." Jared chimed in.

"It’s not like I was gonna totally get over him after you talked to me. Those kinds of things just don’t disappear. You should know, Beau. Jared." Eric said, sounding slightly annoyed.

I sighed, and before I could continue, the waitress came to our table. "And how is everything?" She asked in a way too perky tone.

"It was really good, but I think we’ll take the check now." Casey said, sounding slightly uneasy.

"Alright, I’ll be right back with that for you guys."

She walked off and I glared at Eric again. "You fuckin’ proposed to her. Do you even get the extremity of that action? How important that is to her, and how important it should be to you? You propose to someone because you want to stay with them forever, not so you can go out and fuck someone else and then know you have someone to come home to. That’s not how it works."

"I know that’s not how it fuckin’ works, Beau—"

"Then why didn’t you keep your promise to be loyal to her after you slid that ring on her finger?" Jared asked.

"Like I said, I was drunk at the time—" Eric explained again.

"I did it." Daniel said in a small voice.

All eyes were on him now.

"I seduced him into it after I knew he was too drunk to say no. I feel so horrible." He said quietly.

"You little son of a–"

"And here’s your check. Just bring it up to the front desk when you’re ready to pay."

"Alright, thanks." Jared said after the waitress caught me mid-sentence. "Who’s paying?"

"I’ll do it." Casey said, taking the check and sliding his card into the leather holding booklet. He slid out from the seat and went up to the counter to pay.

"You little son of a bitch." I finished my sentence towards Daniel. "Why would you...you shouldn’t have...I need to get out of here." I got up and walked out.

"Beau, hold up." I heard someone call from behind me. I didn’t pay attention to who it was. I flung both doors open and started down the street. I heard running footsteps coming toward me. This felt like deja vu, like the time at the hospital.

"Beau, just stop, relax, calm down." Jared grabbed my waist and stopped me, pushing me against the building, looking straight into my eyes.

"I’m going to murder them, I swear to god..." I fumed, shaking my head, tears of anger and rage falling from my eyes.

"No, you’re not going to murder them. You’re taking things way out of proportion here. Sure, they got together, but like Eric said, they were drunk. They really had no idea what they were doing." Jared said in a calming voice.

"Why is everyone against me, here."

"I’m not against you, Beau. I see where you’re coming from, but you don’t have to freak out at every little thing they do." He said, caressing my cheek.

"It’s just instinct, I guess. If you had a kid, and you found out that they were whoring themselves around with 3 or 4 people, you would react the same way." I explained.

Jared stayed quiet for a moment, then answered, "Yeah, I guess I would." He dropped his arms and let me away from the wall. "I guess it’s starting to rub off on me, though." He grabbed my hand and walked with me towards the car.

"I’m starting to notice that a little." I said, concentrating on the cracks in the pavement.

I heard more voices as we neared the cars. They were a mix of angry voices and laughing. What a weird combination.

It turned out that the only angry voice was coming from Casey, who was bitching out Eric and Daniel, while Mike and Matt were laughing amongst themselves. The argument became more understandable as we got closer.

"You know how much stress you’re putting Beau through right now? Do you really know how much he cares for you, Eric? And how hurt Miranda’s gonna be when she finds out what you did, because you’re not keeping anything from her, not if I have anything to do with it." Casey said. He looked up and saw me and how sad I looked. I tried smiling at him, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t get my mouth to move that way. It wasn’t worth it to put on a fake facade, not anymore. If Eric was gonna keep fucking up his life, then why should I be happy. I also felt terrible for Casey having to worry about me so much. It just puts more stress on him.

"Hey Beau, you alright?" Casey asked, walking up to Jared and I.

I shrugged. "Why would I be?"

Casey hugged me tightly, rubbing my back. "Don’t worry. We’ll work this whole thing out."

I sighed, hugging him back. "Doubt it."

"Don’t say that." Jared said quietly.

"Eric doesn’t change. I know this. I’ve tried, so many times, and every time is a waste." I said bitterly. "Why did I have to bring that son of a bitch Daniel. I knew they were gonna do something.."

"Hey, is everything alright over here?" Matt asked.

"Not really." Jared said honestly.

Why couldn’t he just say yes, everything was fine, and not get another person on the worry about Beau train?

"Ugh!" I pushed away from Casey and turned my back to everyone, fuming. I turned around again and looked at everyone. "Why do you guys worry about me so fuckin’ much? It’s so annoying! I hate it when you guys are always askin’ me what’s wrong or if I’m okay, because knowing that you’re worrying about me makes me feel terrible and even more stressed, because honestly, I don’t think I deserve to be worried about." I said, letting all my frustration out. I looked at everyone else who wasn’t a part of the conversation before. They sure as hell are part of it now. I started laughing, going into hysterics, looking directly at Eric now. "And I don’t even know why I bother with you anymore, you never learn. You always find some way to fuck up your life and destroy the good things you have. I’m not even gonna try anymore. You’re on your own now." I turned away from Eric’s shocked face. I walked over to the wall and slid down it, putting my knees to my chest, hiding my face in my arms. I let the tears of frustration that I was holding in go. I heard a bunch of whispering and then footsteps walking back into the restaurant. I looked up and everyone was gone.

Thank god. I looked at the garbage can next to me and saw a broken bottle in it. I picked it up, looking at it. I pressed it against my skin, but removed it before it could do any damage. I threw it across the street and shattered it. I then took the razorblade I always carried in my wallet out, thinking that this would be more sanitary. I rolled up my sleeve, exposing all the fading scars from months ago, looking to add onto the collection. I put the blade in position and before having any second thoughts, I pressed and the red fluid started pooling out as I dragged the blade across my skin. The feeling was sensational as I let my head hit the brick wall behind me, closing my eyes, smiling. I felt the blood run down my arm. I looked at the sky, never realizing how gloomy it was today. I grabbed a napkin I took from George Webb’s and wiped the blood, dabbing it until the blood flow was basically none. I looked at the razor again, which was on the ground next to me, and had the urge to do it again. I picked it up and looked at it, the blade slightly tinted red. I dug the blade into my skin, parallel to the previous one. The same feeling of bliss emerged in me.

Until I heard Jared gasp. "Oh my god, Beau! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Are you insane?! Why would you do this? Oh my god..." Jared was panicking as he grabbed more napkins and wrapped them around my arm. He ran back into the restaurant, basically in tears. He came back out with Casey, who also started panicking.

"Beau. Does anyone else know about this?" Casey asked as calmly as he could.

"Just Miranda." I said, so quietly, it was barely audible. I stared at them lifelessly, glossy eyed.

"Alright, we need to get you home. I’ll just tell everyone else that...there was some sort of an emergency." Jared said.

"And this isn’t an emergency?"

I jumped at the sound of Eric’s voice. I looked at him, stone cold, surprised he was alone.

"Eric, I told you to stay inside." Jared said, sounding exhausted.

"I guess you can blame that on my inability to listen." He said in a smart alec-y tone.

"Eric, enough with your shitty comments, they’re not helping." Casey said. Him and Jared pulled me off the ground, watching to keep the napkins in place. I started feeling lightheaded as I began to lose the movement in my legs.

"We’re going back to our house, if you want to come alone." Jared offered, emphasizing alone, helping me again to my car, putting me in the backseat, while Casey drove and Jared sat with me. Before we could take off, Eric got into the passenger’s seat.

"Oh, so you decided to leave your Danny boy? Surprising." I said quietly yet harshly.

Eric turned around and glared at me. I gave him the same glare, if not more hateful, right back. He didn’t deserve anything less. I was starting to agree with Casey. Why would he want to put me through all this and do all this shit when he knows how I react over things like this? There are still so many pent up emotions that need to come out of me. One more slice could’ve done it, if Jared wouldn’t have come out and interrupted me...

I bent over, ignoring the restraint of the seatbelt and grabbed my shins to steady me, then I started pulling at my hair, letting my frustration and anger out in little noises, obviously not little enough for Jared not to hear.

"Beau, sit up, please." Jared said softly, slightly pulling on my shoulders.

I followed his instructions and sat up slowly, feeling tears that must’ve been falling onto the floor of the car fall down my cheeks as I let my back hit the back of the seat. I felt Jared’s arms wrap around me from the side and his body starting shaking from his sobs. He cried silently into my shoulder as I took off my seatbelt and hugged him back.

"Beau, I’m so scared." He whispered, almost inaudible.

I didn’t say anything, just listened.

"What if this happened again, but worse?" I felt him hug me tighter on "worse". My tears started becoming more frequent now as well. Jared sniffed. "Please don’t let there be an ‘again’. I don’t want you to kill yourself. Seeing you hurting yourself is already too much for me to handle."

I heard another sniffle, but not from Jared. I looked up to see Eric was crying.

"Beau, please say something." Jared said into my shoulder.

"I’m sorry." I whispered. That was all I could say. I was sorry for making Jared cry, for making Eric cry, Casey’s probably on the verge, and everyone else is probably worried sick about me. I felt like curling up into a little ball and hiding from everyone so I couldn’t cause anymore stress on anyone’s life. I brought my legs up and let go of Jared, curling up into said ball, hiding my face. I felt Jared take the napkin off my arm and dab my cuts with a wet one. It stung a little, but I ignored the pain. Hearing Jared continue to sniffle was more pain then those cuts could ever cause. Feeling the sadness and worry suffocating me in this car was becoming overwhelming. I felt around in my pockets for the razor, but must’ve forgotten it on the ground outside the restaurant. Shit. At this point, I didn’t care who saw me or knew about what I did, I needed to get it out somehow and talking and yelling wasn’t enough anymore.

Then I remembered the one I kept in my front pocket. I dug in there and pulled it out, making sure not to let Jared see. I pulled up my pants leg and started scratching at my ankle, trying not to make it obvious. Thank god I wasn’t wearing my white shoes today. Blood blends good with black.