Could Tell a Love 2

Now I’m the one feeling terrible. I’m going to have Jared worrying so much over me. He’ll think I’m still cutting or think it’s become habitual. A tear fell down my cheek. "God, I’m such a fucking dumbass."

"No, not a fucking dumbass. Maybe just a dumbass. A dumbass consumed in undying love." She corrected.

I laughed a little to myself. "Sounds about right." I sighed. "I’m sorry for dragging you into this."

"Don’t worry about it. Now I’m glad I came along. Now I know how serious you were that day at your house."

"At least one person’s on my side." I said quietly.

"Everyone’s on your side, Beau. They just have different views." She protested. "Take a left up here."

I followed her instructions, and they seemed vaguely familiar, like I’ve traveled them before.

"Have I been this way before?" I asked.

"Yeah, you have." She said.

Then it hit me. "He’s staying with Casey!?" I asked.

She nodded.

Another person to yell at.

I sped up and we got there right before sunset. I pulled into Casey’s driveway and got out, Miranda following close behind.

While I was knocking on the door, I thought I’d knock it down.

Casey answered and looked surprised. "Beau! Miranda! What are you guys doing here?"

"Jared’s staying here, right?" I asked, trying to sound as normal as possible, which wasn’t that normal.

"Yeah, but he’s not here right now, he left about an hour ago. He went to the store with Katie to get something. You guys can come in and wait for him." Casey moved out of the way and we walked in, sitting on the couch. Casey took the chair across from us. "I thought you knew about him coming up here? That’s what he told me. He said you guys broke it off."

"He broke it off." I corrected him. "He left me a letter saying it was over and that he left the band as well. Turns out that he’s been meaning to do this for a while, and everyone but me knew about it."

"And you came here to get him back." Casey guessed.

"Exactly. I’ve missed him since the first day, and that was two months ago. I need to see him. I need him back." My heart is hollow without him. A piece of me is permanently missing if he’s not with me.

"Don’t worry about getting him back, he hasn’t shut up about you since he got here. He’s been worried sick about whether you were okay or not. He might be in worse condition than you are."

Hearing that made me smile. He was still worrying about me. I couldn’t wait for him to walk through the door. But at the same time, I could. I thought about the scars on my arms and my stomach made an uneasy move. That was going to be hard to explain.

Not long after we arrived we heard a car coming into the driveway with the bass blaring a familiar beat. Before I could think, I got up off the couch and went to the door, opening it and standing on the porch, waiting for him to get out of the car. I saw the light on the inside go on and he was looking straight at me, the look of shock and excitement on his face. He quickly got out of the car and ran towards me. I met him halfway and we hugged. It felt so good. Tears automatically started falling down my face as I buried my face in his shoulder, and he did the same to me. I heard him sniffle.

"Why are you so stupid?" I whispered in his ear, breath shaky, laughing a little.

He laughed a little as well. "I don’t know. I guess I took you seriously."

I pulled him away from me and held him at arms length. "You should know not to take things I say seriously when I’m mad. Why would I want to break up with you just because you don’t wanna be in the band? That’s just fucking retarded." I pulled him closer and kissed him.

It was the best feeling in the world. I missed how good it felt to have his lips against mine. I put my arms around his waist and kept him close while Jared did the same.

"I love you so much." I said, brushing his hair out of his face, keeping my hand on the back of his neck slightly. "You have no idea how much I missed you."

His eyes bore into mine with so much love and longing. I’m pretty sure I looked at him in the same way; I was feeling it, anyways. "Driving all the way out here just to see me? I think I have a slight idea how much of a dumbass I am."

"Can you guys please take this inside? I’m pretty sure the neighbors won’t appreciate you guys making out in the front yard." Katie said, carrying a bag into the house.

We smiled at each other and went into the house. Katie was in the kitchen with her back towards us. I put my finger up to my lips, telling Jared to be quiet. He nodded, smiling.

I sneaked up behind Katie and grabbed her from behind, picking her up and hugging her tightly. "Hey Katie!"

She laughed. "Lemme down, Beau!"

I laughed and kissed her cheek, setting her down as she asked. Then she turned and attacked me in a hug. "Hey Beau!"

"How’s Uncle Casey been treatin’ ya?" I said, smirking at Casey. He hated it when I called him "Uncle Casey". He thinks he’s too young to be an uncle. He is two years younger than me.

"He’s awesome, as always, but not as awesome as you."

"Suck up." Casey said in a cough.

Katie stuck her tongue out at him.

I let go of her and messed up her hair and went over by Jared, lacing my fingers through his. "Can I talk to you in a different room?" I whispered in his ear.

"Sure." He said, giving me a crooked smile and going into the spare bedroom, which was transformed into his room. We both sat on the bed.

"So what do you wanna talk about?" Jared asked, not taking his eyes off mine.

"Are you happy? Like, are you happy without the band and everything?" I asked, playing with a string on his pants.

When he didn’t answer for a while I looked up at him again, and his time he looked depressed. He looked at me again. "No, not really. I miss everyone. I guess I just needed to get away for a little while. And now I’m ready to go back, but I don’t know if they’ll let me back in." Jared said.

"Are you kidding me? The fill-in is a total jackass. He’s so cocky and stuck up. We all miss you." I said, then adding on, "Some more than others."

He just smiled and gave me a small peck on the lips.

"You have no idea what kind of hell you put me through over the past two months." I said, getting playfully angry with him.

"I know, and I’m sorry. I was gonna call you, but I get no service here. That’s why I said my phone was disconnected."

I pushed him down on the bed and hovered over him, holding his hands level with his head, looking down at him, smirking. "That’s no excuse. You will have to repay me, and the price is not cheap."

"Oh, I think I can afford it." He forced himself over and now he was on top of me. "I’ve paid it many times before." He leaned down to kiss me passionately. He pulled away, smirking. "In full...Beau? What are these?" He had his eyes on my arms.

Shit. I didn’t think about those.

He sat up, pulling me up with him, pulling up my sleeves. He covered his mouth with his hand. "Oh, Beau." Was all he could say before he hugged me and cried into my shoulder. "Why would you do something like that over me? God, I’m so stupid and selfish. I should’ve never left you, not if you were going to do that to yourself..." He said in a mumble of tears and sobs. "I feel so terrible."

I leaned away enough to see his face and kiss him, tears also running down my cheeks. "I can’t believe I’m doing this to you. I’m the selfish one, making you worry about me like this. You don’t deserve the stress."

"If I didn’t worry about you, you’d probably be dead already." He said, his voice turned into a shaky whisper towards the end.

That sent a pang of regret into my heart. The realization of the possibility of my death finally became evident. I hugged him tighter still. "I’m so sorry. For everything."

"Don’t be sorry. We’re here. Together. Right now. Lets just forget it ever happened." He said, sounding stronger. He looked at me again. "You’re not like, addicted or anything, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Oh thank god." He said, a wave of relief washing over him.

Our lips met passionately and I ended up on top of him, feeling up his shirt, contemplating whether to take it off or not.

"Do you think we should wait? I mean, Miranda’s here, and she’s probably waiting to skedaddle out of this joint." Jared asked.

"I was thinking sleep over. Leave in the morning after breakfast. Sound good to you?" I offered.

He smiled and came up for another kiss before answering me. "Sounds great."

There was a knock at the door. "Stop fucking and come get some dinner." Miranda yelled through the door. "Can’t keep their hands off each other for two minutes, I swear." I heard her say, probably to Katie.

We looked at each other and laughed to ourselves, getting off the bed and going into the kitchen, obnoxiously touching each other to annoy Miranda as we got our burgers and fries off the stove.

"God you guys are so obnoxious." Miranda and Casey said in unison.

Jared and I broke out into laughter as we ate our burgers, which were delicious by the way. "You know we love you, Miranda, we’re just messin’ with you." Jared said, patting her back gently.

"We’re not that bad." I said with my mouth full of burger.

"Ew, Beau, chew and swallow, then talk." Katie said, dipping her fries in ranch sauce.

She was always strange with her food choices.

"Hey Casey, is it okay if Miranda and I crash here for tonight and take off with Jared tomorrow morning? Oh, and can I use your phone to call the guys and tell them that Jared’s coming back?" I asked, taking a huge gulp of Pepsi.

"Sure, go right ahead." He said.

"Awesome, thanks." Then something dawned on me. "Hey Jared, couldn’t you have just called me on his phone?"

His cheeks tainted red slightly. "I was afraid that you wouldn’t take me back."

I laughed a little, swallowing and kissing him on the cheek. "You know I’m always here with open arms."

"Yeah, I know you are." He said, smiling at me, continuing eating his meal.

The conversation dwindled slightly while everyone was stuffing their faces. Katie let out a huge ass burp after she was done eating.

"Nice one!" Jared complimented her.

"But it didn’t turn you on." I said under my breath.

Jared smiled and elbowed me.

"Oh, I need to go get our clothes out of the car. I’ll be right back." I got up from the table and cleared my dishes, grabbing my keys and opening my trunk. I got my suitcase and Miranda’s tote bag out of the trunk. Before I went into the house I looked up at the perfectly clear night sky, seeing millions of stars I never saw back home. The moon was so much brighter here, too. Sometimes being out in the middle of nowhere had its advantages. I turned and got back into the house.

"God, pack for a week?" Casey asked, filling up the sink with soapy water. He pointed to Katie and then the sink.

"Why do I have to do them? I did ‘em yesterday. You should do them." Katie complained.

I gave her an "are you serious" look. "Excuse me?"

She sighed and got out of her chair, starting the dishes. I smiled at how much authority I had over her.

"And no, I just threw crap in here. I didn’t know how far away he went." I said, directing my attention to Jared, who was dunking Oreo’s in his milk. He also had a milk moustache.

"Nice ‘stache," I said to him.

He smiled. "I thought so too."

I just laughed and threw my bag in Jared’s room. "Where are you sleeping, Miranda?"

"Sure as hell ain’t sleepin’ in your guys’ room, that’s for sure. I guess I could sleep on the couch." She said, setting her bag of stuff against the couch on the floor.

"You could sleep in my bed tonight and I could sleep on the couch. I have no problem with that." Casey offered.

"No, that’s okay. I got the couch. It’s all good." She said, sitting down on said couch.

I checked the clock for what seemed like the first time in days. It was going on 10, and I was exhausted. I yawned and went into Jared’s room, digging out my pajama pants. He was in there not long after me, also changing. "You tired?" He asked, sitting on the bed.

I joined him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Yeah, extremely." I admitted.

"Wanna go to bed?" He asked quietly.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." I said. I looked around for the beginning of the covers and realized that it was only a twin sized bed. "I could sleep somewhere else if you don’t want to be squished all night."

He hugged me around the waist and pulled me down beside him, making me stare into his eyes. "I could care less if I’m squished all night, as long as I’m being squished by you." He said, stroking my cheek lightly with his pointer finger, pushing whatever hair was resting on it out of the way.

I smiled and looked down, almost instantly regaining eye contact with him. "I missed you so much. You have no clue how alone I was at night with no one to say they loved me." I wrapped my arms around him, feeling tears come to my eyes, but I pushed them back. I would not cry anymore tonight.

"I have an idea, I was going through the same thing."

"But at least you had Casey and Katie to look forward to. I had a big, empty house."

"I’m sorry." He said into my ear.

"Don’t be. We’re gonna forget that ever happened. We’re focusing on the here," I let out a big yawn. "and now. No more dwelling in the past."

Jared’s lips met mine in agreement. "Goodnight, Beau." He said quietly, not letting go of me.

"‘Night, Jared." I didn’t let go of him either.