You're Hiding All the Right Things

My fingers were laced with his as we were walking down the beach barefoot. He suddenly stopped, yanking me back slightly. I followed his lead and came face-to-face with him, his other hand grabbing mine. He stared at me and smiled. His big brown eyes looked black under the moonlight, along with his dark brown hair. We exchanged no words, and leaned in closer. The dream was over before it started, though. I jumped at the sound of my alarm. I groaned and rolled over to turn it off.

"Come on, Skylar, get up." Beau yelled from in the kitchen.

I stretched and got up, grabbing my clothes to head for the shower. I opened up my blinds and he was outside, waiting for his mom to come out and drive him to school. He turned and looked up at my window and waved. I waved back, then realizing I wasn’t wearing a shirt. I blushed and ran away from the window to put a shirt on. I went back out by the window and he waved me down there. I followed, going out the backdoor to his driveway.

"Morning, nice hair." Jeremiah said with a slight smile on his face.

I yawned, stretching. "Shush, I just woke up."

"Psh, lucky. You public school kids have it so easy."

I laughed a little. "Yeah, and I’m okay with that."

I gave him a quick once-over, like every other morning: he always looked adorable in his uniform and he always had his hair spiked up perfectly in the back.

He pushed my shoulder slightly. "Public school seems so much more chill and relaxed, I wish I went there instead of private."

I refrained from saying that I wanted him there, too. "Yeah, it’s totally chill. I think you’d like it."

"Jeremiah, lets go! Oh, hello Skylar." Jeremiah’s mom said.

"Hello, well, it was nice talking, but I should shower before Beau and Jared start hounding on me."

"Alright I’ll text you or something later. See ya, Sky." He said, getting into his mom’s car and driving off.

I turned around and walked back in the house, blushing like crazy. Only Beau, Jared, Miranda, and the other guys called me that, and I was used to it, but when he said it, it sounded cute. I sighed and hopped in the shower. After drying off and making my hair look decent, I went into the kitchen, seeing pancakes and sausage.

"Morning." I said, grabbing two pancakes and a piece of sausage, a slight smile glued to my face.

"Well, aren’t you a happy camper this morning." Jared said.

"Is it so wrong to wake up happy?" I asked, trying to avert my eyes from them, trying not to give anything away.

"Well, for you, yes." Beau said, then paused. "Is it because you got to talk to Jeremiah today?" He asked, saying his name like I had a first grade crush on him.

"Uh, no. I talk to him practically everyday, it’s not a rare occurrence." I said in a cool voice, putting more pancake in my mouth.

"Is there something you’re not telling us, Sky?" Jared asked, making me look straight at him.

I swallowed and answered, "No, nothing. I don’t keep secrets from you guys." I smirked in my mind at my ability to lie so easily.

"Alright, but if there’s anything you need to tell either of us.." Beau started.

"Please. No heart to hearts before school. It is so not the time for it."

"Oh, before I forget. You have to babysit Maika tonight while the five of us and Miranda go out. They said that they’d pay you and everything."

"Oh, well, they don’t have to, but whatever. I’m not gonna turn down the money. I like babysitting Maika, he doesn’t give me a hard time, well, most of the time. I just have to remember not to give him Mountain Dew tonight..." I thought out loud.

"Yeah, that wasn’t too pretty. He’s probably sleeping over here, too, so you need to figure out sleeping arrangements."

"Will do." I put my plate by the sink and went to get dressed. I adorned myself in black skinny jeans and a purple v-neck with my black converse low-tops. I did a quick double check in my hair and grabbed a scarf off the back of my door. I threw my messenger bag over my shoulder and went back into the kitchen.

"Can you drive me to school early today? I’m meeting up with Karli."

Beau and Jared looked at each other. "I drove him yesterday." Beau said.

Jared sighed. "Fine. I’ll drive. I’ll be back in a little while." He gave Beau a small kiss before we headed out the door.

The car ride there was awkwardly silent; I could tell Jared wanted to say something.

"Jared, just say what you wanna say." I said.

He shook his head. "It wouldn’t make any sense."

"Just say it."

He sighed. "Beau and I both think that you’ve... ‘switched sides’, if you wanna put it that way."

I stared straight ahead. I should’ve known that they would see right through me, how much of an idiot can I be? I tried lying my way through it anyways.

"How do you come up with that? I would think the most obvious reason why I didn’t.. ‘switch sides’, is that I have a girlfriend." I pointed out, even though I was really only using her as a cover. I love her, yes, but I don’t feel anything real romantic between us.

"That’s why I didn’t wanna say anything. Beau’s insistent that Karli’s just a cover." Jared explained.

Wow, Beau’s good at seeing right through me. I didn’t falter in front of Jared and continued, "I wouldn’t do that, I’m not heartless. I wouldn’t lead someone on like that just so they could be my cover." I felt slight guilt stick in me, but I let it go.

"I know, I keep telling him that, but he’s still so persistent." Jared said, pulling into the school parking lot, which was basically empty except for three cars.

"Alright, I’ll see you after school." I said, getting out of the car, slamming the door. I walked towards the school and when I knew that Jared was gone, I fell onto the side of the building, sliding down it. How can I be that obvious? Well, maybe not that obvious, because Jared doesn’t know. Maybe Beau’s just paranoid, or maybe I’m just freaking out too much over this. So what if they know I’m gay? They are, too, it’s not like they’re gonna disown me or anything. I sighed and got off the ground.

It turned out that, even though I wasn’t planning on meeting Karli here, she was by her locker, getting her stuff for first hour. She looked in the direction of my footsteps and smiled, closing her locker and meeting me halfway with a kiss. I hugged her close to me and tried keeping the images of that dream out of my head, the feeling of Jeremiah’s lips against mine instead of Karli’s.

"Morning." She said, smiling.

"Morning." I said, trying to get the guilt out of my system. I should just break it off with her and go after Jeremiah, but I don’t even know if he swings that way. And I don’t wanna ruin a relationship to try to get into another when it’s basically pointless.

"Did you sleep well last night?" She asked, walking with me to my locker, her hand around my hip.

"Definitely." I said, smiling, and it was a totally different reason to what she was thinking.

"Was it because you were dreaming of me?" She asked, looking up at me.

"Of course, baby." I said, kissing her again, reaching my locker.

She giggled and let go of my hip so I could get to the stuff in my locker. I resisted the urge to sigh. My relationship with Karli was really repetitive and boring. Always the giggling and kissing and hugging. There was really no sustenance, which bugged me. I contemplated breaking up with her now, since there was no one here, but I don’t wanna spend a whole day with her pissed off and shit, since we have practically the same schedule.

"Skylar? Is there something wrong?" She asked as I closed my locker and grabbed her hand instinctively.

"It’s nothing, just tired. Don’t worry about it." I said, looking down at her, smiling. The smile wasn’t genuine, though. Even though I’ve never been extremely physically close to Jeremiah, I just wanted to hug him to me and have him return the favor as more than just friends.

She didn’t say anything and just kept walking until we got to some benches, which is when more people started coming in. Two of Karli’s friends came down the hall and waved her towards them. I was quite happy on the inside.

"Come on, Skylar." She said, trying to pull me off the bench.

"You can go ahead, I’ll catch up later." I said, letting go of her hand. I really didn’t feel like dealing with her today. She was too clingy and giggly, and right now, the only person I wanted to cling to was Jeremiah.

She left without saying anything, probably pissed that I wouldn’t go with her. I shrugged it off and pulled out my phone to text Jeremiah.

I need your advice. I’m with Karli right now, but I’m not really feeling anything deep for her. I don’t wanna break up with her though, cuz I don’t wanna hurt her. What should I do?

I hit send and waited. My phone vibrated a minute or so later.

You’re just gonna hurt her more if you stay in the relationship. I’d try to find someone more worth your time, and from what you’ve told me about her, she’s not worth your time.

That made me smile.

Do you know of anyone that would be worth my time?

My hands started shaking slightly after I sent him this message. Hopefully he doesn’t get the wrong idea.

Lol well, if you’re willing, I know one person.

I swear my heart skipped a beat.

Could that one person be him? No, probably not. I’m just jumping to conclusions.

Oh? And who might this be?

I was practically jumping out of my seat in anxiety. I looked down the hall and saw no one I hung out with yet. My phone vibrated and I flipped it open excitedly.

They’re coming to my house tonight to chill, come over and meet them.

My head hit the wall.

I can’t. I’m babysitting Maika tonight. :(

My hopes were crushed, at least for tonight. I was so close to seeing if Jeremiah liked me back. The vibrate scared me this time.

We’ll come over there. See you tonight.

I flipped my phone down and practically did a happy dance. Tonight wouldn’t be as boring as I thought.