It Gives You Some Other Kind of Hell

I woke up to the knocking on my door.
After getting a shower and washing away the guilt yesterday afternoon, I curled up in bed and immediately fell asleep. The bed was so comfortable in contrast to the ones in the orphanage and all you could hear was the wind whooshing in through the window and the music blaring from Frank’s room; not the cries of abandoned children that took pity upon themselves.
“Come in,” I groaned as I scratched my eyes and stretched my limbs.
My ‘mother’ opened the door to a slit and poked her head inside. She had a caring look in her features.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t wake you yesterday,” she came in the room and sat carefully next to me on the bed. “I guessed you might have been tired and you needed the rest. Breakfast is ready for you on the table. Oh, and Stacey wants to take you around town today with some of her friends if you would like that.” She flashed a smile.
“Sure,” I was still rubbing my face, trying to rub off the sleep.
“Alright then, I’ll let you get ready,” and with that she kissed the top of my head and stood up. “I’m so glad you’re with us darling,” then she left.
That was shocking. She actually kissed me. But whatever, they’ll eventually get tired of me and give me up for adoption.
I crawled out of bed and took some underwear out of my drawers and headed for the bathroom. I switched on the warm water and stripped off my clothes. After stepping in the shower the wondering started: Did I really want to go with Stacey around town? Sure, I guess I would. I was tired of being locked in the orphanage. I needed to go out. You could say the outdoors called me. There was also the option that maybe Stacey was actually nice, that maybe her friends were interesting individuals.
I stepped out of the shower and dried myself up. I put on my underwear and started blow-drying my hair. The bathroom was equipped with everything I might need, even make up.
But even this little fact couldn’t stop making me wonder. I couldn’t ignore that there was also the option that Stacey might humiliate me in front of a group of people I didn’t know. But this option didn’t frighten me; I was more than used to being humiliated. Once you are one of my “kind,” you know, the orphaned/weird child, the mocking begins.
I walked out to the room and picked out my clothing – a red and black plaid skirt and a black, plain, v-neck shirt. I put on my usual studded black belt over my hip and knee high, shit stompin’ boots. I also applied black and red eye shadow and the usual eye-liner. I didn’t care if I scared my adoptive family, they might as well get used to their red-and-black-loving, weird-dressing, eccentric-looking adoptive daughter.
I went back to the bathroom to finish straightening my hair. I still wondered. Did Frank hate me because of what I did? My so rude response to a nice act had me truly frightened. I felt like Frank might be the first real friend that I might meet. Sure, I’ve had loads of friends, but they all come and go very easily. Some meant something to me, I even had boyfriends but nothing too compromising, because I always knew the relationship wouldn’t last, and it would always be my fault. I would loose contact with them either because I was too lazy or because I wanted to start over again. But this time, Frank, he felt more of a real friend. I wouldn’t bear to loose the opportunity to actually have a friendship with that kid, and I’ve only known him for a day!
I heard someone playing the guitar right outside my door.

Why are you so far away,
Even when you’re standing next to me?
Your eyes give you away,
Telling secrets when you’re mouth don’t feel like talking.

That was Lloyd Dobbler playing outside my door. Oh wow. Was that Frank? He was actually playing the song. I ran to the door and swung it open.

And I’ll be your Lloyd Dobbler,
With a boom box out in the street.
And I’ll be there if you need someone,
Even if it isn’t me,

He kept on singing while he smiled. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. That was one of the sweetest songs that I’ve heard and that I loved. And the fact that he was there, outside my door, playing that song made me elate with happiness. He was still in his pajamas and his hair didn’t seem to show any signs of being brushed, so all of that just proved that he just woke up.

There’s a Norman Rockwell painting
Of two kids sitting on a bench.
It reminds me of all the stupid things
I’d like for us to share, but I don’t care.

When he finished the last verse he slung his guitar over his shoulder and propped it against the wall. I flung myself on him and hugged him. He was in shock for a moment but sooner or later he hugged me back, wrapping his arms around my waist, pressing me against him and burying his head on my hair.
“I’m so sorry about yesterday, I didn’t mean to be like that to you, is just that I’m so used to not talking about it and being so defensive about it,” I was rambling and he knew it, but he didn’t stop me. He just simply put his arms on my shoulders and looked at me with a straight face.
“I’m so sorry, really,” I shut up and heaved a sigh. I looked up at his gorgeous eyes and he smiled.
“Don’t worry about it. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m starving.” He slid one hand down my arm and into my hand and he pulled me to the kitchen.
We went around the corner and down the narrow hall, back to the family room with the weird, random dark brown spots on it. Then I remembered, this is all I knew about the house. I never got the full tour.
He turns left and I can start smelling pancakes and bacon. We get through a narrow hall that abruptly ends in a big, bright kitchen. Its counter tops were made out of granite and the cabinets were dark wood. There was a long, granite topped, bar that separated the kitchen from the eating table. Sun rays washed the kitchen from the sliding doors that gave way to the yard. And that yard was huge. It was surrounded by a light wood fence with vines climbing their way up. There were also some trees down a far end and a beautiful garden with a small pond. Stones surrounded most of the garden and then I noticed that there was a stone porch. To the far left there was, nonetheless, a pool, big enough to swim some laps. By the garden there was a gazebo with a table and some chairs around it. Stacey was sitting there by herself eating while Mrs. Greene laid on a lawn chair by the pool, tanning. The food was in a small oven, kept so that it wouldn’t get cold. Frank freed my hand and walked over to the small oven and took the plates out.
“So, were would you like to eat your breakfast?” he asked me.
“Well, Stacey said that she was taking me out to town today, so…”
He didn’t look happy about that.
“Stacey’s friends, they are… well they… They get annoying. They might want to hog you and make you their clone or something.”
“So…?”
“I don’t want you to be like them, at all.”
“So you think I’ll change because some girls want me too?” I raised one eyebrow at him. “I’ll never change because of peer pressure.”
He smiled and slid the door to the back yard open.
A refreshing breeze threatened to lift my skirt up but it quickly died away. We took the stone steps to the garden and took out seats on the table. Stacey looked up from her book and smiled at me. “Good morning!”
“Hello,” she seemed peppy, but then again, she was a peppy person.
“I hope you like your breakfast, mom worked extra hard today to make everything perfect,” she emphasized that last word. Perfect. Everything was perfect here, and I was the small flaw damaging its perfection.
“I’m sure I will,” and after that I spent my breakfast looking down at my lap. Eventually I would peek up to see Frank staring daggers at Stacey, but she wasn’t guilty of anything; she only sat there and read her book in silence. But I could notice that she felt uncomfortable, maybe it was because of the fact that a stranger/new step sister was sitting at the chair across from her or maybe it was because of Frank’s glaring issues. But, the whole awkward silence didn’t last long, as soon as I finished eating Stacey stood up, making the chair scrape against the stone floor.
“So, I guess you’re coming with me so that I can show you around town, right?” she asked in her sweetest voice.
“Yeah, sure,” I stood up, “I guess I’ll see you later Frank.”
A pained look crossed his features for a second as his eyes looked right at mine, then that same expression turned into anger and turned to stare at Stacey.
“May I speak with you in private for a few seconds Stacey?” Frank asked as politely as he could manage.
“I don’t think it would be very nice to keep anything from Violet here, so why don’t you just say whatever you want to say?” her voice lacked patience and I could see that she was beginning to grow mad. Wow, the collision between brother and sister wasn’t pleasant at all, I could feel the atmosphere getting heated up, and I don’t think it was the weather at all.
“You better watch your friends around Violet. I don’t want them bringing their remorse on her. Get it?”
“What remorse are you talking about Frank? And please,” she said this pronunciating each letter clearly, “if this is all about Courtney then forget about it. You know that she is already over her stupid crush over you. Don’t start feeling so important because one of my friends liked you.” She flung her hair back and grabbed her purse from the chair. Frank was red, I couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or anger, but it was pretty there on his face. “Come on Violet.”
I waved good bye to Frank and whispered a “thank you” under my breath to him before following Stacey back to the kitchen.