Baby, Just Close Your Eyes

Two weeks of beautiful weather involving swimming, everyone trying to teach me how to skateboard, and just plain chilling ended with rain. The Indian Summer had been fun while it lasted. Currently we were all gathered in the living room. All six of them crowded around a notebook on the table that John had been seen with whenever things were quiet. Part of me wanted to see too but I didn’t want to intrude. This was their time.

“That’s deep, bro. Think the fans will like it?” John who’d been anxiously sitting back waiting for them to react shrugged and tapped his knees.

“I hope so. It’s my favorite so far. We can speed it up or something.”

“Hey, Annabelle, why don’t you judge? You’re a fan. And, a girl.” Pat said handing the notepad to me.

“Thanks for noticing, dear.” I said crossing my legs under me and scanning over the chicken scratch that had been scribbled out and drawn through in some places replaced with a better word. It was in fact amazing. Deeper than most of their stuff usually was, same story line though. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall for each other, girl leaves, boy broken hearted.

“Keep this one more ‘Whoever She Is’ and less ‘We All Rock Along’.” I said looking back at the song. If they didn’t put it on the album I’d be pissed.

“You think so?” John asked. It was obvious what he was most self conscious about. The fear and worry made his whole body tense enough to build a house on.

“Yeah. It’s really good. Better than some of the shit I’ve heard you guys mess around with.” They all laughed. Tim had a going away bash with just us over the weekend involving them all getting completely trashed, building a camp fire in the back yard and singing about lightning bugs and pretty flowers. God knows what the neighbors thought.

“Thanks, Annabelle. Maybe you’ll be of use after all.” He said playfully smirking. I rolled my eyes.

“Who wants to go to the mall with me? I’m bored and my Starbuck’s craving is getting out of control. You guys picked the only town that doesn’t have a Starbucks on every corner. Go figure.” Jared and John stood up.

“We’ll go.” Jared said. John nodded. The rest had a excuse to stay at the house. I didn’t really care just as long as I wasn’t awkwardly walking around a mall by myself.

“Cool. I’m driving!” I yelled grabbing my purse and the keys to the adorable red car outside.

“Shotgun!” Jared yelled running ahead of John who sighed.

“Are you not as stoked to get out of this house as he is?”

“Oh. No. I’m stoked. He’s just really hyper and ridiculous right now.” John said shutting the door behind me.

It was like taking a group of four year olds a day after Halloween to the movies. We’d gotten to the mall over an hour ago and instead of going to Starbucks first the two boys had ran straight for Pacsun because they “desperately needed new skinny jeans”. Exact words. I was boredly walking in a circle around the store.

“You can get something.” Jared said wrapping his arms around my waist. I shrugged.

“Nothings catching my eye.”

“Not even the peace sign shirt over there.”

“What is it with this band and peace signs?! You guys are ridic!” I exclaimed. John walked over to us carrying two pairs of what appeared to be the same exact same jeans.

“We just want peace in the world, hon.” John said picking up the sleeve of a green plaid shirt.

“That’s ugly. Aren’t those the same?” I asked pointing to them.

“Nope.” He pulled the pair closest to his body. They fell down to show a tear in the left knee.

“I could do that to less expensive jeans while skateboarding. You’re going to pay for it?”

“Do we wear the same size?” He asked. I laughed.

“Are you high? Bro, I have an ass….and hips. You’re like a walking a bean pole.”

“Jared, she’s making fun of my awkward body.” John whined. I giggled.

“Can we go now?” I asked looking up at Jared. He nodded.

“We’ll meet you at Starbucks. Unless he finds something new to look at.” I said leading Jared out.

“We’re you really that bored?” He asked lacing his fingers through mine.

“Yeah. I have all the clothes I- That’s cute!” I said pointing to the Build A Bear Workshop.

“You wanna make one?” He asked. I nodded almost bouncing with excitement.

“Yeah! I always wanted to make one!” I said walking inside and looking inside all the bins. “Jared! It’s a owl!!” I said holding up the white owl. “And, its head turns all the way around!” I said reading the tag. He laughed and held up a floppy eared puppy.

“This little guy is cute.”

“Get him! Dude, there’s a Jonas Brother sound effect. You should get it.” I said pressing the button. He laughed shaking his head.

“I don’t think so. Go get that thing stuffed so we can dress it!” He said following me over to the big machine that was turning with fluff.

“Do you want it really soft, hard, or in between?” The girl asked sticking the owls body on a long pole.

“In between.” She nodded. I stepped on the peddle and it quickly filled. She pointed to the basket that held hearts and told us to get one. Jared followed the same steps.

“Okay, now rub it on your heart to give it love, shake it to get it started, and make wish then kiss it.” She said.

“Kiss mine?” Jared asked shoving it towards me.

“Aw.” I kissed the heart and handed mine to him.

“Cute.” The girl commented sliding the hearts into the animals and tying them shut.

“Thanks! Oh, hey, there’s John!” I handed the owl to Jared and ran out the store to John who was looking around for us.

“Hey, buddy!”

“What are you two doing?” He asked peering into the store suspiciously.

“Making life long friends, bro! Come on! You can make one too!” He shook his head and followed me inside. We went through the process of picking the animal and sound. John was like a little kid once he got into it. His wish was by far the longest of us all. Finally done with all the needed things we were in the process of picking out clothes when my phone vibrated in my back pocket. The screen read Katy. I spazzed and quickly answered.

“What can I help you with missy?” I asked contemplating what tights to dress my owl in.

“I have big news. Huge news.” She said a her voice thick. I shoved the owl at John and walked outside the store.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if its wrong or not. It’s monumental. I’m….I’m pregnant….with Justin’s baby.” I was silent for minutes. What do you say to that?

“Holy. Fucking. Shit. Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m staring at six very positive home tests right now.” She said quietly. What I wouldn’t do to be there right now. Daray was getting married. Katy was pregnant. I was having second thoughts about everything I had worked for. I just wanted life to stop for a little while. This was all too much.

“How do you think Justin’s going to take this?” I asked running my fingers through my hair.

“He’s going to be stoked! I don’t want this right now though!” She said her voice choking to a halt. “I haven’t done anything yet! I went on one tour! One semester of school! Four months with my dream guy and we’re having a freaking kid!”

“Calm down, honey. Where are you?”

“I’m still home. Justin really likes Florida. So much for getting away from this place.” She said laughing quietly. I laughed too.

“How ironic. You fall for the perfect guy hoping he’ll get you out of there only for him to love the place too. Damn. Go talk to your mom. She’ll know what to do. She’ll tell you how to tell Justin.” I said turning to the store and watching the two men who’d made my life so beautiful. They’d give me the world and Jared had no idea. No idea that John was secretly competing with him for my affection.

“I’m scared, Annabelle. Is it too late to turn back time and forget ever meeting any of these guys?” I sighed and leaned against the glass, closing my eyes.

“I wish.”

“Where are you?”

“At the mall with Jared and John. Coffee trip turned into Build A Bear.” Katy laughed.

“I’ll let you go then. My moms home. I guess I’ll go talk to her now. If I don’t do it now, I never will.” She said, sighing.

“I love you, Katy. I’ll call you later.”

“Miss you. Bye.” The dial tone filled my ear. I was shocked into silence.

“You’re finally back. Name this thing.” John said handing me the owl. I took it from him and sat down at the computer silently.

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked coming over. His hand lightly resting on my shoulder. I shrugged. The owls name would be Digit born December 16, 2009. It was the only date that came to mind.

“Annabelle-” John started.

“Nothings wrong! Gees.” I finished naming the animal and stood up. Digit was now dressed in black and purple tights, a black sequined shirt and little mini bear converse. “This is cute, guys. Thanks.” I said quietly reaching inside my purse for my wallet.

“I’ve got it.” Jared said handing the girl behind the counter his Visa card and the tags for all the clothes and animals.

“It’s okay Jared. I’ll do it.” I said pulling the money out. John snatched my wallet out of my hand.

“He said he’d pay. Don’t be stubborn, Annabelle.” John said angrily snapping the wallet closed and shoving it in my bag. I glared at him.

He was right. I was being stubborn. I was angry. Angry about everything. Instead of being happy for my friends and family I was pissed. They were changing and I was still doing the same thing I had been doing last year only in better clothes and a great boyfriend. I was afraid of change. Everyone was changing around me and I was reacting the only way I knew how to. I was shutting down.

“Come on.” Jared said handing John two house boxes. His arm slid around my waist. I didn’t pull away until Starbucks came into view. The hustle and bustle of the coffee shop calmed my nerves. Jared and John stood behind me silently exchanging looks.

“What can I get you?” The boy asked adjusting his green hat over the dyed black and blonde hair.

“Venti white chocolate caramel.” I told him digging through my bag for my wallet and handed a ten over before Jared had a chance to intervene. It made me feel helpless to have him pay for everything.

“Anything else?” He asked handing me my change. I shook my head and stepped aside so they could order theirs. The girl beside him slid my drink on the counter yelling loudly. I took it and stepped outside. They followed after me still silent.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, John.” I said quietly sitting in the back seat. He shrugged.

“What happened that made you snap off?”

“I…uh….you’ll find out soon enough.”

“How do you know?”

“Trust me. I know.”

“Do I get to find out to?” Jared asked sounding left out.

“The whole house will know when John finds out.”

“It’s really that big?” John asked.

“Life changing, bro.” I said closing my eyes and leaning my head against the window. It was like being on the road again. I loved being on the road.

We got home just after dark. The clouds had finally stopped leaking for the time being. Lights danced on the wet sand. I was curled up in a chair on the balcony. The rain was beautiful but here it was gorgeous after the rain. The waves washed against the shore peacefully. Garret slid the door open and sat down next to me.

“Hi.”

“Hey, Garret. What’s up?” He shrugged.

“You seemed lonely.”

“It’s pretty here. I like this place too.”

“We’ve got the house for six months. Soak it up.” He said smiling. Garret didn’t pry. It was one of my favorite things about him. He just let me sulk inside and knew I’d talk eventually.

“Garret….can I ask you a question?” He turned his full attention to me.

“Sure. What’s up, Bella?”

“Do you think that change is scary?” He thought quietly for a few moments.

“Yeah. But, without change life will get boring. You’ll be ready to blow your brains out at seven.” I giggled.

“That’s really awful, Garret.” I looked back at the waves. “I don’t know though. Everyone around me is moving on and I feel like I’m still the same kid I was last year.”

“You’ve changed a lot. Whether you see it or not.”

“I feel like less of an angry person. You guys have really helped me through that and my family has finally changed for the best but I’m still the photographer for The Maine. I’m still fucking things up. Good things.”

“Some traits are still instilled in you for a good reason. They help you-”

“Annabelle! Where are you?!” John stomped out onto the balcony. “You knew Katy was pregnant this whole time and you neglected to mention it in the car ride here?!” He screamed, his eyes wide.

“Told you it was life changing, bro.”

“How can you be so nonchalant about this?!”

“Katy and Justin made a conscious descion to sleep together. Sometimes that leads to babies. There’s nothing left to do now but embrace it. Yeah, its mind warping to think of Justin Richards as a dad but it’s coming and there is nothing we can do about it.” I said pulling the blanket tighter around me.

“That’s….whoa.” Garret said looking out at the sea. We all looked at the never ending water silently each lost in their own thoughts. A lot was changing and there was nothing we could do but change with them and be happy.