Homecoming

It’s amazing how once I really, truly try to put in the effort to stop having certain feelings…I stop having certain feelings.

I won’t say that all my feelings for Connor have subdued, but they don’t conquer my every thought anymore. They don’t rule my whole life and don’t choose my actions. That space is filled with…Alex. I’ve started actually having some real feelings for him, enough that I don’t feel like I’m just using him anymore, enough that I can’t just give him up at the drop of hat when Connor says…he likes me.

The way Connor eyes his favorite cake with this kind of sad, nervous, regretful look almost makes me want to tell him that yeah, I used to have such strong feelings for him. But the Alex in my head tells me that it’d only make things worse.

“I’m okay, you know,” Connor mutters, putting a piece of cake in his mouth as I look up from mines. I almost believe him. He seems pretty composed. But he’s been seeming that way for about a week now. We haven’t gotten any dares in a while. It seems that the blackmailer had finally chilled, found a life or something.

“Psh, of course. When is Connor Taylor not?” I smirk, finishing my cake.

“I feel as if the dares have plateaued. They can’t get any worse, you know?”

“Ha, oh they can get much worse,” I reply.

“Well, yeah, but I don’t think they will.”

I shrug, standing to take my plate to the sink. “Do you think there was a purpose to them? Other than the person just not liking you?”

“No,” Connor says and I hear a soft sigh. “I think I’m going to go home.”

When I turn around our eyes lock for a while and I think we’re both asking the same question and looking for the usual answer. Has our friendship changed? And after a few more moments of silence, as Connor breaks the eye contact, turning and standing up from the chair, we both find the same answer. He gives a dry wave before walking out the kitchen and then out the front door.

Yes.

X

The next weekend, Alex and I are stripped down to boxers and making out in the dressing room of a costume shop. “You would make such a hot… batman,” he whispers against my neck when we dethatch for air. My chuckle turns in a slight moan as he slightly bites my neck, kissing it after. “I had a thing for male superheroes when I was a kid, I think that’s when I knew I was gay,” he rests his forehead against mines. I kiss him, “You’re such a dork.”

“Only the big macho manly ones though. Not like Spiderman, he was just a geek under those powers and all whiney and stuff,” Alex stands from straddling me, leaving us both with boners.

“So you’re type is really jocks with muscle heads and huge guns?”

“Along with huge other things, yeah, it was,” he smile, “before I met you.”

“Oh so you’re saying I don’t have huge muscles and am not super masculine and sexy?”

Alex leans down, hands on either side of my nearly naked body, “Pretty much, except the sexy part.” He pecks me on the lips.

“I think that’s why when I first met you, I was more attracted to Connor. Even though I though you two were a couple.”

My eyes widen and I gasp, playfully pushing him, “You’re fucking kidding!” I stand and push him again. “Tell me you’re not serious!” I fight back chuckles even though the thought of Alex ever being attracted sexually to Connor is slightly disturbing. Not that I can’t see why he would be, Connor is and I thought he was and...um, but...it’s just that…uh…err..we’re going off subject...

He laughs, his back against one of the dressing room walls, and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling my chest to his. “Nah, I’m kidding. His personality made him instantly unattractive.”

“But you still though he was hot!”

“I still do think he’s hot,” Alex shrugs and I pull away. “So do you.”

“What I-I do not, Alex. Connor and I a-are just friends, totally and completely now, you kno-“

“But I don’t. I don’t really know, Nate. You remember when we first started this. It wasn’t even about us, it was about him. It was about me making you forget him.” He doesn’t seem disappointed when he says this, but it still makes me feel so guilty.

I furrow my eyebrows and open mouth, yet no words come out for a moment. “It’s not like that anymore,” I mutter, my eyes veering from his.

I notice Alex bite his bottom lip out the corner of my eye and it just reminds me more of Conor. His hands take my cheeks and he moves my head to face him again. He kisses me again before saying, “I know. It’s just hard sometimes thinking about it while trying to make the transition to being a…real, true couple.”

“We are, though. A real couple.”

Alex nods and kisses me again, and again and again, until he’s got me back on the bench and working kisses down my chest, but before he can take off the remainder of my clothing, there’s a knock on the dressing room door.

“Uh…the management of Halloween USA, will err… have to ask you to…leave...please.”