Homecoming

You can’t die of embarrassment.

I realize this as I come to in some brighter, non-themed part of the Hyatt. But I sure as hell can freak out- I jump up, my heart beating rapidly, many eyes following me as I noticed that I’m surrounded. They all know. I look around frantically, trying to figure out why I’m here. I pant as if I’ve run miles and am sweating like crazy though I’m cold.

“Connor, sit down! Calm down! Calm, breathe,” it’s like this person, this woman in this uniform, appears out of nowhere and I still can’t do what she says but I can’t tell her because I can’t speak, I try to open my mouth but can only blabber sounds. I’m in shock.

And then she’s replaced by Nate but not for long because I fall. I feel like I’m falling forever before I hit the carpeting on the floor. He appears again, in front of me, holding onto my face, making me focus in one him. “You’re shaking, you’re not breathing deep enough, you’re okay,” he tells me and I start to calm, very slowly. At least now I know what’s happening, but what has happened?

“You had a panic attack. Do you have troubles with anxiety?” The woman, the uniformed one, asks me, but I still can’t even speak. I can’t even lift my head as I stare into my lap, wondering of the faces that make up my crowd. I hear whispers, they scare me.

“He does,” I hear Nate’s voice, I can place it because it’s Nate’s voice. But do I?

I focus on the pounding of my heart echoing in my ears. It hurts, I can feel it crashing. I focus on breathing, I can’t get enough air. I try, I try, I try.

“That’s it, keep breathing,” the female voice says, “Give him some room, you guys, now- he’s fine, get back to your dance.”

I hear shuffling but don’t look up. I move my hands to my lap. I breathe in and out.

A hand laces into mines, it’s Nate’s. “It’s never gotten this bad, huh?” he whispers.

I trace every line on his hands with my eyes and pull in a deep, long, exhausting breath just to gasp, “No.”

“Okay, well he’ll be fine, Nate. Just keep an eye on him, he should probably get some rest, that was a big one,” female voice speaks. I look up and she smiles at me and nods before taking a kit or something and walking off. I turn my head to Nate.

“I don’t think we can go back in even if we wanted to,” Nate forces a chuckle, “Actually, don’t freak out about this one but, I’m also pretty sure we’re suspended.”

I shake my head, baffled at all of this. The lights out here are too much of a contrast, it almost hurts.

“Come on, I’ll tell you on the way home,” He grasps my hand tighter to pull me up and I notice that there are still lingering costumed students hanging around.

“I’ll call you later,” Nate says to one of them- Ginger. She doesn’t meet my eyes, “wait, I never got that new number of yours.”

“Oh! I-I um, I’ll just call you myself, later…deal with him,” she nods, before looking away.
We walk out in silence, I feel warm now.

“So you spazzed,” Nate says, putting my keys into the ignition and heading towards our houses.
“They all saw?” Is the burning question.

If he gnaws his lip any harder, it’ll bleed. He nods, “If anyone doesn’t, they’ll know by Monday.”
I let out a very shaky deep breath that sounds like a whimper.

“Hey, calm down,” he says, softly.

My mouth drops in almost confusion, but I know what’s going on now. I just can’t believe it all, “All of this, for nothing.”

He sighs, “Well don’t you think it’s developed us as people?” It’s slightly sarcastic, I can tell, but I still can’t respond directly.

“No cursing, no empty threats? Come on Connor, snap out of it,” he smirks at the road and is so calm that I should take lessons.

“That won’t fix this,” I can’t even see the possible Monday scenarios in my mind because I really just don’t know. I’m at a total loss for thought. But oh, I forgot, I probably won’t even be at school Monday. I’ll be grounded and suspended.

“Didn’t stop you before,” he says, trying to tease and coax me out of this.

“I’m too tired,” I mutter and slump down in the seat of my truck. I fall asleep rather quickly.

X

“Oh my goddddd,” Nate is exaggerating as he tugs on my costume.

I open my eyes and he reads the question in them.

“I’m sick of watching you sleep in the car, get up,” he shrugs.

I nod and step out into the early, early morning air. It’s cold, but it feels good, the air feels clean.
“I don’t want to go inside yet,” I say as I turn and walk down Nate’s driveway. I keep breathing it in, closing my eyes for a moment.

He strides up next to meet and I notice he’s gotten rid of the wig and the costume makeup has smudged all over.

I cross the street to get to the park and sit on the end of one of the twin slides. I lean back, looking up at the stars. Nate sits on the next one and does the same.

“Everything’s changing this year,” I breathe out, turning slightly to see his profile, shadowed.
“Yeah. It’s overwhelming,” he says and I nod stiffly against the hard material of the slide.
Nate’s phone starts to ring, the tone for a text. I watch as he answers to it.

“Who is it?” I ask just to stay awake.

“I’m…not sure, someone from school, I think. They’re asking how you are.”

“Lemme see,” I say, taking the phone as he looks back up to the sky.

Another text comes in before I can see the number, it says ‘It’s Ginger. He’s fine now?’

I scroll up though, to look at the number, finding it weird that Nate doesn’t have her number saved in his contacts. “Why isn’t Ginger’s number saved?”

“Hmm? Oh, she got a new phone a little while ago,” he shrugs, but I keep staring at the number.
“How long ago?” I ask and slowly pull myself up. I can practically feel Nate’s confused stare as he pulls up as well.

“Um… a few weeks, maybe. Why?”

I hand him back the phone and he types something really quick.

“I just…I…” I take the phone again and pull out mines, knowing that all my messages will be there, but Nate deletes his. I skip all the unread messages form tonight to go to the one from mid-dance. To go to the one that has been the absolute cherry on top to just an awesome month. I scowl at my own inner sarcasm before gasping. I’m back.

“That fucking ginger no soul having goddamned bitch!” I jump up with fast breathing once again.
Nate goes from casually confused to utterly, his face scrunching as he rises, not as fast, “What? What happened?”

“She’s the one whose been blackmailing us,” I show him our phones, side-to-side. The number from the dare text and the number saying that it was Ginger wondering how I am, are the same fucking number.

“I am going to rip out every fucking strand of that red fucking hair! I am going to kill her slowly with a blow torch,” I start to grip the phones too tight as I rush though, calculating a plan as I think thoughts of absolute malice.

For a second, back when this first started happening, I thought we were becoming friends.
She was tricking us, all along. And now has the nerve to feel guilty since the plan failed, we were caught and I passed out.

I whip around, narrowed, glaring, burning eyes, “Tell her to meet us here.”