Learning How to Swim

My dad had come home sooner than I had expected, so I had helped Steven sneak out. I didn’t want him to go, but he had to. I didn’t know what would happen if my family found out that I had been breaking the rules and sneaking around with a boy, but I didn't like any of the possible outcomes.

Kara and Mom had returned home shortly after, asking about the banana bread. Kara dug into it, telling me I should be a chef when I got older. I let her think that so my mom wouldn’t get suspicious.

“Kara, do you have a minute?” I asked her as I heard her coming up the stairs. She peered in, grinning.

“Of course I do. What’s up? Did you kiss Steven?” she asked, skipping into my bedroom.

“No, that’s not it,” I told her, digging under my pillow. My heart nearly stopped. Where was it? “Kara, have you been in my bedroom?” She gave me this innocent look.

“I’ve been around. Why?”

“I know, Kara. I know about the meth,” I told her, my voice low. She narrowed her eyes at me, her face twisting up beyond recognition.

“You gonna tattle on me?” she asked, full-out glaring at me. I stuttered.

“No... But I want you to stop. Please. It’s not good for you.”

“Stop watching me! God, I can’t even breathe in this house! I’m not a little kid; I’m older than you,” she reminded me. “You can tell Dad and Mom if you want, but then I’ll be shipped off to Beckham again.” She almost smiled.

“Don’t do this. Please just promise me you’ll stop.”

“Whatever. Look, just let me do my thing and you can do yours. I’ll start taking the depression medicine, okay? I only take the meth crap when I forget to take my pills. I’m not addicted, so calm down. I don’t need to take this shit from my little sister.”

“Okay,” I mumbled, looking down. “I won’t tell.” She grinned, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“I knew I could trust you,” she told me, skipping out of my bedroom and humming a tune to herself. My heart dropped into my stomach as her door slammed, the radio blaring suddenly.

I grabbed the phone, dialing Steven’s number.

“Valentine?” he asked. Once again there was shuffling and the door slammed. I’d gotten used to it.

“She took it back when I wasn’t looking,” I told him, shaking my head.

“Alyssa, please say you’re going to tell someone.”

“I can’t! She’ll get sent back to Beckham, or maybe even get sent out of state!”

He was silent for a few moments. “There’s worse things than going to a rehabilitation center, Valentine. It really helped... You can’t let this go on forever.”

“She said she’d stop. She’s not addicted.”

“People like telling each other what they want to hear, don’t they?” he asked me randomly. Or maybe it wasn’t so random. “That’s just another flaw of the human race. Do you know how many there are? I know I talk too much, so that’s one. I lie to my Mom all the time, so that’s two. How many do you have?”

I could think of plenty. I settled with five.

“What are the five?”

“Well: I’m letting my sister drown; I’m lying to my parents; I should be worrying about my sister, but I'm not; I should be helping Kara, but I think it’s more important for her to trust me; and...” I wiped my eyes. I wasn’t crying, but I felt like I should be.

That was the fifth.

“It’s okay to cry sometimes—not that I do it all the time.” I didn’t say anything. “We all have flaws. The great thing is finding someone whose flaws you love.” I stayed silent, lying on my bed as I held my pillow in my arms. “Valentine, I’ll stay on the phone with you. We don’t have to talk. It’ll be hard for me, but I’ll be silent for you. Are you ready?”

I fell asleep to the sound of Steven breathing.