I'm a Juvenile Delinquent, I Can't Fall for a Cop!

We slid down a long stone tunnel, which was regrettably slimy, and I landed on top of Deyton. Typical. As it turns out, we knocked over several big bags of unidentified stuff. It was pitch dark, with the exception of a few cracks around the door, and while I was busy taking in details, Perv underneath me lifted his head and pecked my lips. I slapped him, although I’m sure it didn’t hurt much, and stood up.

“I think we’re alone,” I whispered. “Do you have your flashlight?”

He flashed it in reply into my face and I punched him in the arm. “You’re too violent for you own good, you know that?” He muttered to me. “You should take anger management classes.” I grabbed him by the back of the neck, pinching down on a nerve in irritation. I didn’t even want to be here, and he was going to sit there cracking jokes at me? “Alright, alright!” He said, pushing me off and rubbing the sore spot. He flashed the light around the room. It was then quite apparent where the drugs were. The entire room was piled high with sacks of hemp (which for the less knowledgeable people out there, comes from the marijuana plant) and undoubtedly filled with drugs. Pulling out a pocketknife, I slashed the nearest sack. Meth. Well that was a short-lived search for the merchandise.

I snatched his phone, ignoring his protests, and angled him in the center. “Hold still,” I hissed as I backed up. Frowning, I added “I need the flashlight or I won’t be able to see you.” Holding the light in one hand, I took a picture with his iPhone with the other. “Okay your turn.” I passed both objects to him, carefully sliding my explosives out from my hair when he wasn’t looking. Yeah yeah, I know it means I could blow my head up any time, but I have a safety switch on my detonator and I keep it in my bra! So I wired everything up as Deyton positioned the flashlight.

“Where’d that come from?”

“Nowhere, now take a picture while I set this up.” He did so, as I finished up. Pulling one of many hair pins blended into my hair, I bit off the round tip, straightened it with my teeth and stuck it into the doorknob. These little suckers are real life savers, you know.

I felt around carefully and shook it around, waiting to hit the right way. Click. Aha! I opened the door and peeked outside. Then, I popped my head back in and let Deyton have a look. I let him take my wrist-grudgingly, mind you- and he towed me in the direction of music, after I closed the door again. I didn’t know how to re-lock doors- who the hell knows how to do that with a bobby pin?! I couldn’t do much with it any more, but I stuck it into my pocket just in case.

Much of the area was like a brothel- modernized. Nearly-nude women were hanging all over the dirty men in the room, some on a small stage dancing and others to the side on poles. Now nothing against pole dancing- it’s a great exercise and I know it- but humping a stick of metal isn’t much of a turn-on to me. There were individual booths all along the wall, the stage set in the middle of the room with exits on each of the four directions and each wall between, and also two armed men in each.

“Well now,” Deyton murmured in my ear. “What’s your plan?” I snorted in reply.

“I shouldn’t have to do all the work. You figure it out.” I answered, glancing down at my short, clear-painted nails.

“What?!” he hissed and glared at me in disbelief. “You said that we were going straight in without formulating an official plan, you said that you were going to light the ‘goods’ and you-” I waved a hand to cut off his tirade and interrupted,

“You really are too serious to take a joke. Do you see the target?” Upon hearing my words of wisdom, Deyton looked out with me at the huge room, clouded with smoke and flashing with lights. I was going to smell like crap when I got back. Unlike those crappy movies on TV, Lastorino was not hidden in the back of the room or sitting like a duck in front of the stage. He was on a side wall near a door that was nearly impossible to detect in the darkness, and I had to stare for a good minute before realizing it was there. Deyton followed my gaze and I pressed the button.

Let’s not try to illustrate the whole “BOOM” because we all know what that sounds like. The drugs exploded in the back room down the hall and the guards nearest there run down the hall. Lastorino starts barking instructions to the goons around him and half-naked sluts start screaming and yelling and running around. They then alarm the guys who start yelling and running too, glasses smashing and people running out. I put on a confused look as I pushed through the crowd towards our target and pulled Deyton by the wrist.

Lastorino, furious and worried and all that jazz, yaps instructions to the burly man beside him, who proceeds to pull out a gun and shoot the ceiling. BANG! Yes, I like the sound of guns but not explosions. “QUIET!!!!!!!!!!” Burly screams and everyone stills. “NOBODY MOVE!”