Lost In You

All night I was dreading the day and it seemed to have come too soon. I found myself at school with my hand in Hayden's. I felt sick to my stomach as we walked through the halls hand in hand. People stopped to stare at us as we passed and they stopped talking too. Even teachers took a moment to process what they saw. Had Hayden Vicious found a heart to give or was this something else? In all the years I had known him, never has Hayden had either a boyfriend or a girlfriend. He had just picked me to hug and call pet names. Ahead I saw a black shadow drifting through the halls with a sketchbook in hand. My hand gripped Hayden's in panic. He looked over at me and cast a reassuring smile. I tried to smile back but failed. The only thing I could think of when I saw Gerard turn his head was the word betrayal. His hazel eyes widened at the sight of us. I kept my eyes glued to the floor but I glanced up accidentally and looked into those eyes. It was pure pain tattooed on his face and maybe even hate. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hayden grin at Gerard in triumph. Gerard's jaw went slack and we walked right past him without a word. I heard something fall behind me, it sounded just like a leather sketchbook hitting the floor.

I felt bad.
Gerard would never talk to me again. He looked so betrayed and he was. I just threw away his trust and left him empty. My next class was art and I was dreading it. I was praying that my breakfast hadn't sat well and that I would have to visit the nurse for the rest of the day. Biology had gone well I must say, Hayden and I sat together and no one questioned it. Now my safety blanket was gone and I was exposed to the flame which was Gerard. I guess I would sit alone for the class.

I walked into my art class nice and early. Not even Gerard was there yet. I let out a sigh of relief and sat at my old table, the one I sat at alone before I sat with Gerard. I pulled out a scrap pice of paper and began to doodle randomly, waiting for class to start.

"You." I heard someone say. I turned around to see Gerard storming towards me. I swallowed nervously as he stopped right in front of me. "What the fuck?" he shouted. I flinched at his tone. I have never seen him like this before.

"What?" I asked calmly.

"As if you didn't know. What the hell is up with you and the freak?" he was shaking now and his usually pale face was turning pink. 'Funny you should say freak...'

"What about it." i was scared but I tried not to show it. I was supposed to be part of The Skeleton Crew... I still needed to get McClure back for the detention.

"What about it? You cheated on me!" I shouted. Again I cringed.

"What? How can I be cheating on you if we were never going out?" he glared at me.

"I was going to ask you!" he raised his hands and I thought me might hit me.

"Gerard! You got pissed off at me so how was I supposed to know that you wanted to ask me out? I'm not a fucking mind reader! Hayden just asked me out first!" i lied. He groaned in frustration and ran is fingers quickly through his messy hair. "Like seriously, what did you think was going to happen?" I bit my lip.

"I don't fucking know." he mumbled and looked down at the floor. "Just forget it all, everything." he turned to leave. Was he going to skip his favorite class?

"Well I like men better then women anyways!" I called after him. He flinched at the comment but just walked away. I don't know why I said it, this whole thing was supposed to make him jealous and want me more, not push him away. Fuck! I just screwed up my chances... unless...