Lost In You

Besides eating an okay tasting salad and having two guys nearly try and shove a piece of cow down my throat, I guess dinner went pretty okay... also besides the fact Bob and Ray were hitting on our waitress, Mara. We all went our separate ways at the bus stop. Ray and Gerard went one way and Bob, Hayden, and I went the other. Since Bob and I are practically neighbors, we got to hitch a ride home together. Hayden was just tagging along since... well... I don't know if he even had a new place to live yet.

"Hayden, where are you living now?" I asked while we sat on the bus. It was dark our and good that we were all together, especially with Hayden.

"The abandoned leather factory down on the water." he replied.

"Beside the mining area?" Bob asked surprised. Where Hayden was talking about was a toxic wasteland where flames burned out of the giant chimneys releasing a poisonous gas. Thats why everyone that worked there wore gas masks and that the entire area around it was abandoned except for the interstate but that was pretty fucking far from where Hayden was staying. He was practically beside the factory!

"Yeah, at night the flames look pretty on the water." he mumbled. "And all the lights."

"Thats a death wish!" I hissed. Hayden just shrugged. "Stay with me tonight." I begged.

"Yeah, just don't sleep there!" Bob agreed.

"Fine." Hayden rolled his eyes with a sigh. "I'll stay at Franks, happy now?"

"And don't ever go back there, it will kill you!" I pleaded. Again Hayden just shrugged which made me pretty upset. He didn't even care if he died or not... all because of me.

"Fine." Hayden just stared out the window into the dark streets until the bus pulled up to our stop where the three of us piled off.

"See ya tomorrow guys!" Bob called and waved as he walked up the steps to his house.

"Bye Bob!" I waved back. Hayden and I kept walking to my place.

"Hayden,,." I began. "Don't you care if you die?" I asked.

":No." he replied bluntly. His response stung me.

"Really? Not at all?" I asked sadly. He just shook his head so his long black bangs fell over his eyes. He looked so beautiful with the streetlights shining down on his pale skin. I bit my lip as I studies his face. His big pale eyes looked sad and hollow. His once intimidating appearance had seemed to have gone with himself that year ago and now he just looked like a ghost or zombie. He was still beautiful though, he never lost that charm but he just looked so sad now that I was with Gerard. Wasn't it what he wanted? He wanted me to be happy and I was but he wasn't... A win- lose situation. I tilted my head as I continued to scan him. His black hair that was once short and spiky in the back and long in the front was now over grown and ratty. His pristine white T-shirt was now dirty and grey. The black skinny jeans he always wore were now torn in both knees and looked like they belonged as a dogs toy rather then a teenagers clothing. I felt bad for him, really I did. So I did something that I had wanted to do since the day he disappeared... I leaned in and kissed him.