Lost In You

"I've always thought zebras were cool." Mikey confessed.

"Same here. Are they black with white striped or white with black stripes?" I asked. We were leaning on the fence of the zebra enclosure. There were a few antelope in it as well but I didn't consider them as cool as the zebras. Mikey glanced over at the sign for a minute.

"Black with white stripes."

"Oh." I raised my eyebrows. Truthfully I already knew that but Mikey didn't know I knew. It was just another excuse to talk with him. I think I was close to actually letting him accept me for being gay. I wasn't going to make a move on him and nor did I want to. I wanted his brother and he knew that.

"I've never been on an elephant ride." he didn't look at me straight away. This guy was full of fluff. What 'real man' wants to see penguins and go on elephant rides? I considered that a good thing though.

"Really? I went on one with my parents when they were still together but it was years ago." I confessed.

"Divorce?" I just nodded and looked at the ground. I looked back up at the animals. "I'm sorry to hear that." he sounded genuine. I looked over at him and smiled weakly.

"I don't even remember them really being together as a family. All I remember was that they argued a lot. When I was younger I wanted to be a dancer and my mom thought it was cute and encouraged it but my dad didn't like it. He wanted me to be in the local soccer league." I kicked some dirt half heartedly. Everything I was saying was true and I hoped Mikey could see that.

"I'm sorry to hear that." he repeated. "My parents have always been together but ever since Gerard... came out, they've been acting.... different. It's like I don't know them anymore. They just, ignore him and its like he's a ghost or something." I looked at him and he looked at me. "I guess your right Frank, Gerard is my brother and I should love him none the less but I just can't get over that he...." Mikey shuddered at a thought of probably Gerard and I kissing or something.

"Well am I so bad?" I asked. I wanted to know what he thought of me.

"No, actually you're pretty cool... you're still not thinking of raping me are you?" he joked. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't worry man, I have eyes for your brother, not you."

"Good." he smiled. "So umm... I'm sorry about what happened last year when I kicked the shit out of you... you're stronger then you look." he smiled gently. When Mikey smiled like that he sort of looked like Gerard in a way. They were similar but so different.

"It's okay, people looked at me like I killed someone when I was on the bus. I was covered in blood. Hayden fixed me up though then he..." I trailed off and frowned at the memory.

"That's when he disappeared?"

"Yeah... how did you know?"

"Honestly it was an accident but I saw a journal entry in Gerard's sketchbook about like how he vanished and and was probably going to come back on his birthday..." Mikey frowned. "Then it went on about you but then I just walked away 'cause it got really sappy."

"Oh?"

"He uh... really likes you." Mikey scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I guess if he didn't then him and I would still be best friends." he shrugged.

"I have an idea." I smiled. Mikey scanned my face cautiously for an answer. I bet he thought I was going to propose that we had sex in the food court or something. I told Mikey what I was thinking and he just smiled sadly.

"I'd like that, I think its a great idea." I grinned. So it was settled, my plan would be put in motion tomorrow but first, an elephant ride.