Alive Again

According to the girl’s bathroom, Reese and Kennedy were a couple. By hear say in the hallways, Reese and Kennedy were a couple. Word of mouth became word of fingers, and once that e-mail was sent, another followed, and then another, and then there was a picture of John and Reese from MySpace being linked in instant messages back and forth.

News and gossip about Kennedy and Reese completely eclipsed a relationship that had solidified just before the party last week. Christine Deaton had been really great friends with Ashley and therefore spent a lot of time at Ashley’s house and around her fraternal twin brother, Mitchell. She had always harboured a deep attraction for her best friend’s brother, but never felt like she could act upon them. There was some confusion over whether or not siblings were off limits—usually the case was that they were.

So Christine focused her attention on a boy that she also liked and had a chance with. She began her little obsessive crush on Kennedy. It wasn’t only Ashley that had played an active role in Christine’s decision not to pursue Mitchell—it was Mitchell himself. He was so sports and school focused and incredibly hard to read. He didn’t seem to care about anything other than competition and doing his best to get into his school of choice, Columbia.

But all of that started to change, there were subtle smiles and more time spent without Ashley and it just built up, all the tension and attraction. Then the confessions happened. Christine felt that she and Mitchell had surpassed the “like” stage; she was convinced that they were in love—or at least she was. No one seemed to care about Christine and Mitchell though—there was more drama attached to the Wallace sisters.

Erin, however, found this tidbit of information pertinent to blab to anyone who would listen—which was Reese, unfortunately. Reese had mastered the art of avoiding her locker mate, or at least she had since their last run in, but Erin was like a boomerang—she always came back. Reese spent most of her year doing her best to dodge her locker mate, but Erin always caught on. She never openly accused Reese of avoiding her either, but both girls knew it was the case.

“Oh em gee, Reese, you’ll never guess who’s dating who!” Reese didn’t bother opening her mouth to retort, Erin would continue on like a freight train without any breaks.

“Christine and Mitchell finally are dating—all that flirting and sexual tension was annoying the entire school and apparently Ashley is pissed, but this means that you and Kennedy are in the clear. You know Mitchell is kind of an asshole to Christine though — like he looks pissed off and annoyed by her all the fucking time.”

Reese shrugged. She had known Mitchell since pre-school, and he was a lot like her, in regards to the fact that he didn’t like to be affectionate. He was the kind of guy that was first pick during projects because he was very goal oriented. Reese respected that—he wanted things done, and he did it efficiently and didn’t let people get in the way. She could understand how he might come off as an asshole to some people; she came off as a bitch to some.

“Look Erin,” Reese cut off her locker mate, “I have to go; I’m meeting Kennedy for lunch. It was nice talking to you, have a nice day.” Reese rolled her eyes as she turned from a stunned Erin. Reese never spoke over her, she wasn’t even impolite, but today Reese Wallace had toed the line between being polite and being rude. Erin tried to shake it off and called a goodbye after one of the only people in school that could stand her.

Reese stalked off, keeping her head high to avoid hearing the whispers that kept trailing after her. She had been doing this for two years, but it was getting harder now that there were grains of truth to those rumours. She tried to keep her mind set on her goal: meet Kennedy in the cafeteria. He had found out about her birthday and wanted to make plans.

The cafeteria was in full swing by the time Reese got there—the line was seven students long but Reese never ate lunch; it was a bad habit of hers. No table was vacant, and Reese had to scan the room from one side to the other to find Kennedy. Her eyes slid over the new couple, Christine smiling so wide her face might crack in half, while Mitchell talked animatedly with a bunch of guys from the baseball team. She paused momentarily in confusion as she saw Clary’s friends. They were sitting together, leaning toward the center of the table and whispering. Reese wondered if Clary had done something to make them turn their backs on her again. It wouldn’t be the first, or the last time.

But then she looked at the table to the left of them, and found Clary. Reese immediately felt sick to her stomach when she saw who Clary was sitting with. John and Clare Wallace were sparking even more rumours as they sat side by side, with their heads bowed and a notebook between them. They were speaking lowly to one another, and the sight seemed almost too intimate.

Sitting at a table just behind them, staring openly at the odd pair, were Elle, Jared, Kennedy, and some of John’s other friends. Staring determinedly over at that table, Reese began to weave in and out of tables. When she walked by Clary, John looked up and they briefly locked eyes, it was over in a moment but Reese could feel their stare on her back, even after she had taken a seat next to Kennedy and could no longer see John or Clary; unless she looked over her shoulder.

“It’s so fucked up,” Jared commented. Kennedy reached over and grasped Reese’s hand, smiling sympathetically over at her. Both friends were confused about John’s actions—and Reese was a little mad. Hadn’t she told him what it has been like? Hadn’t he witnessed firsthand all that had happened between herself and Kennedy? Did she mean so little to John that he’d be willing to throw her away for, at most, one month with Clary?

"They're just... talking," Elle suggested naively, clearly trying and failing to incorporate a light tone. "Why can't they talk?"

Kennedy and Jared both stared at Eleanor like she had just said some inconceivably idiotic thing. Reese, however, was staring at her in awe, like she had never seen a girl that wasn’t constantly absorbing gossip and other people’s drama.

"It's almost embarrassing how little you know about her, Elle."

Reese tore her gaze from a flushed Elle and blinked slowly at Jared.

“I think it’s kind of... awesome,” Reese admitted with slight hesitance. She didn’t want to give off the wrong impression—that she liked Elle and would be willing to be best friends with the girl. There was no possible way for Reese to have girl friends, it was too hard. Erin wasn’t a friend, but her life was already hard because she was an outcast in her own right. Someone like Elle could be liked, but being associated with Reese would ruin her reputation. Guys didn’t care about reputation, or gossip, so Reese wasn’t going to ruin any of the guys’ reputations—if anything, she made them more popular.

But there were always incidents in school where Reese wished that she hadn’t ever met her current semi-friends. John was still a virgin, and Reese only knew that because of how often people assumed that he was sleeping with her. Because so many people pestered him about stupid things, like if he had contracted an STI from the Wallace’s couch yet. At that point, John had only been to Reese’s house one time, to work on an assignment. They used to be better friends, until Clary came and shook things up.

Reese couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that it happened, but she started to pull back from her social group. There were people that Reese used to sit around and joke with at lunch that she didn’t talk to anymore. Most of the people she sat with at lunch were a friend of a friend—John. Kennedy had become her friend because of Jared who had become her acquaintance because of John. The only reason Reese came up with, for why she hadn’t completely cut off communication with John, was that she didn’t find him to be a threat. He let her exist, and that was all she could ask for in a companion.

“Anyway,” Kennedy said, and Reese realized that she must have zoned out and missed part of a conversation—either that or she had stunned her table into contemplative silence. “I think we should go paintballing tomorrow. In fact, we’re going and I’ll pick you up around—no make that at—eleven.”

From the next table, Clary perked up and slapped John’s arm—with a little too much force.

“Ouch! What the fuck was that for?” John hissed, rubbing his sore arm. It wouldn’t have been a problem, had he not had a bruise from wrestling with one of his brothers on that same spot already.

“Did you hear that? Kennedy just told my sister that he’s taking her paintballing tomorrow. That eliminates our problem of getting Reese out of the house.” John opened his mouth to interrupt but Clary rushed on. “I told you already, John, if I asked Reese to go anywhere with me she’d know something was up, and we need your height for decorations!”

Clary cast a furtive glance at her sister, who was stammering out an excuse that Kennedy wouldn’t accept.

“Besides, I’d think Reese would want to spend a part of her birthday with her boyfriend... type.... thing.”

“You really think that they’re dating?” John asked, and his tone was soft and vulnerable. Clary observed his expression, the slight apprehension and fear but mostly she looked into the depths of his expressive eyes to find the hidden and denied longing, what John didn’t hide was the fact that he really fucking cared about Reese. It was disgusting. And yet Clary was jealous, because no one had ever looked at her with that open caring. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that it was love, in the end it was always lust.

Even though it’s what Clary wanted to say—to drive John into her arms—she couldn’t bring herself to form those words. It might actually hurt her to see John’s pain. Clary swallowed and looked away from John, back to Kennedy. It merely was a sting when she looked at him—it was her own fault, and she was nearly completely healed from their little fling. Had she pursued a new boy immediately, Kennedy wouldn’t be able to make Clary feel remorse or anything—but instead she was focused on John.

“I don’t know,” Clary answered slowly, instead of the resounding yes that would have shattered John’s hope. It was a moment of weakness—one that Clary would avoid in the future.

John had trouble tearing his eyes away from Reese, but eventually he looked back at Clary.

“You’re sure your mom doesn’t mind?” he asked for what felt like the fifth time. As far as he knew, Mrs. Wallace liked him—he did not want to jeopardize that. Especially... no, John wouldn’t allow his thoughts to venture any further.

“Mom won’t even be home, she won’t ever know as long as the cleanup gets done. When we do clean up, I suggest we get rid of all the hints that alcohol was at the party. If my mom comes home and finds the streamers and shit, she’s not going to care.”

“How are you going to get alcohol?” John asked, although he almost didn’t want to. It’s not like Reese would be upset if they drank soda at her birthday party—she wasn’t a big drinker. The alcohol was more of an incentive for people to show up and stick it out.

John didn’t need to know that Clary could give Danielle’s rich college boyfriend head and get a whole liquor store for the party. He didn’t need to know how low she could go to get what she wanted.

He just didn’t need to know.