Animal I Have Become

I stood outside Jacob's house, afraid of knocking on the door. I decided to just look at him from outside his bedroom window. Walking towards the window, I peeked inside to see if anyone was in.

I could see Billy in his wheelchair - he looked a little different. There were frown lines all over his face. My eyes gazed down to another motionless figure in the room - Jacob.

I felt my heart skipped a beat, feeling excited to see him again; even if I were to see him from afar.

But when I saw how he looked like, my heart sank.

Jacob hair grew a little and it was messy. He was staring into space; his face emotionless. There were so many food on the table next to the chair he was sitting in. And they looked untouched.

"Jacob, please eat," Billy's voice sounded desperate.

Jacob didn't reply. He kept staring into space.

"I could've stopped him but I was too weak. I could've stopped him but I was too weak," Jacob started mumbling repeatedly.

I saw Billy shaking his head in sadness as he looked at his son.

"Jacob," I whispered softly and reached out towards the window.

Jacob seemed to have heard me because his head snapped up to the window; and he stood up to rush towards me.

That was when someone pulled me away from the house and into the forest.

"What is it, Jacob?" I could hear Billy ask.

"Nessie... Nessie," Jacob muttered.

I turn to glare at whoever had pulled me away from the house - Sam and the boys.

"What do you want?" Paul growled.

"I'm here to see Jacob," I simply answered and then frowned. "Now if you don't mind."

Before I could walk away, Quil was already in front of me, preventing me from walking any closer towards the house.

"You've done enough damage," Quil said and I shook my head.

"No. I did what I had to to protect the people in Forks - and that includes Jacob," I replied in anger.

"Protect?" Paul faked a laugh. "Do you like the way you're protecting Jacob, Nessie?"

That question caught me off-guard as I thought of how Jacob looked like now. He wasn't his cheery self. He looked -

"He's depressed, Ness. And we think that it would be better for you not to ruin his chance of recovery," Sam was finally speaking.

"Chance of recovery?" I half-scoffed, half-laughed. "You're joking, right? Does he look like he's going to recover?"

I couldn't believe the nerves they have. They used to treat me like their family but now that things are different, they didn't even bother to consider my feelings.

"Don't you want Jacob to get better?" Sam asked and I stared at him.

"O - Of course I do," I stammered, blinking rapidly.

"Then the only way is for you to not see him again," he interrupted.

"Why? I love him!" I blinked back tears that were starting to form in my eyes.

"If you did, you wouldn't have married the leech," I heard Paul muttered but Sam told him to shut up.

"We heard about the number of corpses outside of Forks and La Push. We can take a guess as to who had been draining those corpses dry," Sam looked at me with stern eyes.

"You think I had something to do with that?" I growled, a little angry at the accusation.

"No, we don't. But we can't take any chances," Sam replied, not at all scared at my glaring at him.

"I'm not an animal like Damon," I said without any emotions, walking backwards away from Jacob's house. "I'm not."

"I'm sorry, Nessie," Sam apologized.

I turned and ran as fast as I can deep into the forest, crying as I did so. The red tears seemed to have blurred my vision, so I stopped and sank down on my knees - not even trying to stop myself from crying. I could hear something scurrying around me, causing my head to look up at a white rabbit.

How can they even think that I would hurt a human? I couldn't even bring myself to hurt a fly.

I reached out and took the rabbit into my arms.

"Hey little buddy," I whispered and looked at it. "I'm not going to hurt you."

At first it stared at me but after a moment later, it began to struggle out of my grip. I didn't know why and I was a little offended over it's behavior towards me. Eventually, I let it go and it hopped away from me as fast as it can.

"Even you think I would hurt you," I mumbled to myself.

"There you are," a voice made me snap out of my thoughts causing me to turn around to look at Damon.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," he was walking towards me but stopped midway. "Well, not really."

He smiled at his own joke and made his way towards me again. He bent down and grabbed me by the arms.

"Like the way the dogs were treating you?" he asked.

"You were following me?" I pulled myself away from him in anger.

"Not really," Damon puckered his lips for a second. "I was protecting you."

I half-scoffed and half-laughed again. "Protect me from what? Them?"

Damon was starting to glare at me.

"Damon, the only person I need to be protected from is you," I shook my head in astonishment and turned to walk away.

He grabbed me by the arms and forced towards him, breathing on my neck. I could tell that he was controlling his anger.

"You make me crazy sometimes, you know that?" he whispered and started making small kisses on my neck.

"Why don't you just kill me now and save me from all this game that you have in store for me?" I spat in anger.

For a second there, I could have sworn he froze. But he pushed me away and shook his head laughing.

"Why should I kill you now when I can have all the fun with you for centuries? Besides, it's a waste of energy."

"Oh, and I expect you to be home by sundown. Don't make me come searching for you. I don't like wasting my time." And with that, he turned and walked away.