Animal I Have Become

That whole night, I sat thinking if I should just end it all. The only way to end this was to kill myself. I've thought of different ways to do that. It wasn't easy - seeing the fact that I was half-human and half-vampire.

I was immune to sunlight; which sucks because if I was a vampire, sunlight would be the quickest way to die.

And then there was the common way - to hang myself. If I was human, I could die from hanging. But it was impossible thanks to my vampire side.

If I were to take pills and drown myself, there was a chance for me to survive. And if that happens, Carlisle - who happens to be a doctor - would literally give me an earful.

I sighed to myself when I realized that there was absolutely no other way for me to die. The thing is, there was no other reason for me to live anymore.

I couldn't live without seeing Jacob. I couldn't live without having that sunshine in my life. Jacob was that sunshine and without him, my life is nothing but plain darkness.

I sat straight up and realized that there was one alternate way to die - to provoke a vampire.

Since Damon doesn't want to end my life, I should go out and find some vampires and provoke them. I nodded my head to myself and turned to look at Damon who was already asleep.

Slowly, I stood up and sneaked myself out of the house. Once that was cleared, I ran with all my strength to locate any vampires living nearby.

If Alice had a vision about me, then I would have to hurry because the family could already be on their way to stop me.

I could smell about three vampires up north. And from the smell of it, they were feeding on a group of teenagers who were hiking in the forest. I ran and ran towards the smell, praying that this would be over and done with.

I stopped when I saw the three vampires - two males and a female - who in turned looked up in anger when they realized that I was in their feeding territory.

One of the males had blonde boyish hair while the other was raven and spiked. The female was a redhead and she had straight hair.

"This is our food! Go find your own!" the female hissed in an Irish accent.

Instead, I took fast steps towards them, causing them to crouch and hiss at the same time.

"What are you going to do about it?" I replied bravely, walking towards an unconcious body making them hiss even more. "You found them - which is rather easy for me since I can just have one body. You won't even know the difference."

I bent down to the teenage human boy and grabbed his shirt. The other three vampires were growling now. When I looked up, I saw the male with raven hair running towards me with his teeth barred before the other male followed suit.

I smiled to myself, knowing that this would probably be my last night on earth.

There was a huge thunderous thud and I realized that nothing was happening to me. Am I already dead?

I looked up and gasped when I saw that the raven-haired vampire was pinned against a tree by none other than Damon.

His eyes was as red as blood as he growled at the other vampire with anger. When the other vampire growled back, he grabbed the vampire by the throat and threw him across the forest and then there was another thunderous thud followed by a snapping of a tree.

Damon came back with the raven-haired's head, his eyes still red in anger.

The other vampires took steps backwards and I could feel Damon being the dominant male here.

Damon threw the bodiless head onto the ground before he pointed to the other two vampire.

"You lay a finger on her," Damon pointed to me, "And you'll end up like your friend."

The other vampires began to run the opposite direction and by then, I realized that I wasn't going to die. I sank to my knees, feeling depressed over my failed plan.

Damon was next to me as he grabbed my arm, making me stand up. He started to look at me all over as though he was finding a scratch on me.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice telling me that his question was utmost sincere.

There was no cockiness, no sarcasm and definitely no anger in his tone. He cupped my face and was looking deep into my eye with what seemed to be the look of concern.

Slowly and numbly, I shook my head.

Almost immediately, he pulled his hands away and his face was back to being cocky.

"You know," he paused looking away. "If you wanted to hunt, you could've woken me up."

I watched as he bent down to drain the blood of another person and I quickly looked away. It was clear to me that Damon wanted to have fun with me before killing me. But why can't he do it now?

And most importantly, why did he save me from the other vampires?