Animal I Have Become

[Edward's POV]

I sat in the small living room of the Black's house, watching the news intently. Billy wheeled himself over to me so I reached out and switched the television off.

"More bodies are found in the forest," I stated and Billy sighed out loud.

"Sam and the others are finding the culprit as we speak."

"Do they need any help?" I offered but the old man shook his head.

"You have more important things to take care of, Edward," he looked at me in the eye. "Focus on that first."

There was an awkward silence between us before he cleared his throat with force.

"Do you really think it's the vampire you call Damon?"

"Who else could it be? Unless it's Stefan," I paused for a moment to think. "But he only drinks animal blood - so it's highly impossible."

There was another awkward silence before I decided to speak up.

"How's Jacob?" I quietly asked, looking up to the man on the wheelchair.

I heard Billy sigh softly - a sigh that was impossible for a human ear to pick up - before he shook his head with concern.

"He's depression is getting worse," he paused. "Remember how Bella was when you left her?"

I went rigid when the old man talked about her. But when I remembered how she became when I left her, the pain deep inside got worse.

"Jacob's condition is worse than that," Billy added grimly.

I breathed silently, forcing the memories of her out of my mind. I don't have the time to feel pain when the only thing that is important in my life now is my daughter - my flesh and blood.

"Can I talk to him in private?" I decided to take a chance.

My request earned me a look of wonder in the old man's eyes but I remained calm. Slowly, Billy nodded his head.

"Yes," he sounded like he was trying to convince himself to let me see his son. "Yes, go right ahead."

I nodded once curtly before I stood up and walked into Jacob's room. Closing the door behind me, I turned to look at the boy who used to be in love with her but had instead got imprinted to my daughter.

He was sitting on a wooden chair by the window, looking out at the trees.

"Jacob," I said softly and I could see a little movement coming from him but he didn't turn to face me.

I took small steps towards the built body that seemed to be weak from the lack of food he was taking. I sat on his bed, my eyes never leaving his figure in front of me. Still, he didn't turn to look.

"How are you feeling?" I asked but he didn't answer either.

I promised myself not to look inside his mind but for some strange reason, I did just that.

Nessie should be coming any minute now, he thought to himself not looking away from the window. And then we can have dinner together before going for a ride on my Rabbit.

I didn't have a heart - not a beating one, at least - but seeing him this way kind of breaks my heart.

"Jacob," I paused.

I didn't know if I should talk about her. It would hurt a lot just to go back into the memories of her. But with Jacob being like this, I decided that it was for the best.

"Remember when I left -" I struggled to choke her name out, " - Bella and how she became the person she became during her dark days?"

I got a response from him then. He slowly turned his head to face me. That was when I realized that there were dark rings around his eyes and his face that used to be so good-looking seems haggard.

I was shocked myself. I never really thought he would take Nessie's marriage to heart.

"Everyone who loves her got really worried about her. Charlie, Alice," I paused and looked up at him. "You."

What does that have to do with me, he thought to himself and I faked a throaty laugh.

"I told myself it was the best for her - that it would be safer for her to not know me. But I know it was all for the wrong reasons. See, I was selfish to think about how I feel or think and not thinking about the consequences to my actions towards her. But everyday without her made it harder for me to carry on living.

"When I got the call from Rosalie to tell me about Alice's vision, I thought of death. But I told myself to not do things irrationally so I called her house to have you answer it and when you told me Charlie was at a funeral, everything seems to crumble over me. I had no desire to live and I thought of several ways to kill myself," I realized I had my eyes shut.

If I was a normal person, I would be crying right now.

Jacob was now looking at me, his face full of understanding.

"There's two points of me telling you what I have been through," I held up my index finger. "Like Charlie's or your concern for Bella during her dark period , your father and friends are worried about you just the same."

There was a hint of pain on his face when I said that.

"And two," I paused and took a deep breath. "Like me, Nessie is doing what she's doing because she thinks that it will keep you safe and sound."

She has your traits on that, Jacob thought with sarcasm and I forced out a smile.

"I can't deny your statement," I nodded my head, a grim smile on my face.

Stop reading my mind.

I ignored his thoughts and went on. "But she will soon realize her mistakes. To add to that, like Bella and I, you two will be together again, breaking all odds."

I stood up and walked out of the door and towards the living room where Billy is. He looked over at me and I nodded my head in encouragement.

"I think he's going to be okay," I stated positively. "I should make my move now. I'll come back again tomorrow to check on him."

"Thank you, Edward." There was sincerity in Billy Black's tone.

I nodded once more before taking my leave.