The Beginning of the End

Lillian's Point Of View

I ran through the hallways trying to find my first period class. This is the one day I have to be late for school. I'm going to kill that stupid alarm clock when I get home today!

I've been in this school for a few months, how am I lost all of a sudden? Oh my god, this is just a horrible start to a crappy day.

I turned to my left, seeing the classroom door all the way at the end of the hallway. Finally! It took forever to find Algebra 2.

"Hi Lillian." I jumped ten feet in the air and screamed. My textbooks fell around me when I fell to the floor. Catching my breath, I stacked my books on top of each other and stood up, finding Jeff there. Oh no.

"What do you want?" I scowled, trying to tell myself I wasn't scared.

"Oh nothing," he started dancing around me, "I just wanted to talk to you."

'I am going to get beat up,' I thought feverishly in my mind. And this time, Gerard wasn't around to save me. No one was around to save me.

Jeff smiled at me, walking towards me. I kept walking backwards until I hit something hard, a wall. Why did I not just freaking run?! I'm so stupid sometimes!

I closed my eyes tight, hoping this was a nightmare. It wasn't though when I felt his breath on my face. Really, he's breathing on me. Is that supposed to add to the taunting?

"Lilly? Get off her!"

The breath I held in finally escaped my chest and I was shuddering. I dropped to the floor, pulling myself into a ball. I didn't want to get hurt again. Not again.

"Are you okay?" At how close the voice was, I whimpered.

"Please don't hurt me," I pleaded, feeling the tears that fell from my eyes.

"It's Gerard. Lilly, it's me." I dared myself and opened one eye to see Gerard leaning over me. I started sobbing right away. There was a chance I was going to die!

He sighed, trying to calm me down by singing softly. Any other time I would have appreciated it but not this time. It just made things worse. I started crying harder.

I didn't even care where he was taking me at the next point. I felt my body lifted from the floor. Maybe he was going to take me back home. I wanted to go back to West Plainfield. I wanted to so bad.

When I opened my eyes, I wasn't in West Plainfield. I was in Mrs. Saunders office. She looked at him strangely before looking at me. "Is something wrong?" she asked. I don't know why she was playing stupid. The tears on my face gave me away.

He told her what happened my second day here too. I hated him for telling her. I sunk lower into my seat, trying to conceal myself from her gaze.

"Lilly."

I didn't answer.

"Lillian."

No.

"Lilly Bean?"

Not you too Gerard.

"Lillian please," he whispered.

I covered my mouth as the tears came back full force. I didn't want to deal with this, any of this. It isn't fair! It's not fair.

Mrs. Saunders looked at my sympathetically. "Lillian, please. Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

I shook my head. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't tell anyone.

She sighed, playing with the pen in her hands. "If you told us sooner we could have gotten him suspended or even expelled. Now we can't. There's no physical evidence that he hurt you. Look, there isn't much I can do now but I am going to keep an eye on you okay?"

I nodded meekly. Couldn't they just drop this and leave me alone?

In the end, I had to go to class. I didn’t even have a choice; Mrs. Saunders made me go. Gerard and I had almost all the same classes so he was able to tell the teachers why I was so quiet and sad. He didn't tell them the details of course. All he said was that I was almost beat up on my way to school. It was a truth and a lie.

How is it that Jeff traumatized me now? He didn't even touch me this time and I broke down, harder than before. Why? I want to figure it out because then I'll be okay...I think.