The Beginning of the End

Gerard's Point Of View

Time seemed to pass by faster than I expected it to. It was already the start of Spring Break; already more than half of the school is gone. Usually, I would be incredibly happy for that. That meant I could sleep in and not worry about homework or any of my enemies in school.

I should be happy, but all of my friends are ditching me for their families! Everyone seemed to have to go out of state with their families, including Lilly, so I'm going to have a crap week.

My fingers had this annoying urge to reach for the phone whenever I had free time. A few times I let it continue to reach for the phone just to see which numbers it was going to punch in. When I realized I was dialing Lilly's number, I slapped my hand extra hard and shut the phone off.

This continued for an entire day. Mikey laughed at me whenever he saw the red print on the back of my hand. If he and I switched places, I would've probably laughed too. I felt like this was the Addams Family and my uncontrollable hand was Thing.

Playing guitar wasn't fun anymore. My muse and inspiration was far away somewhere on a tropical island, sunbathing in the sand and sipping on coconut juice with her mom.

I wanted to call her so badly, to hear her voice. However, I knew that I shouldn't. What she needed right now was quality time with her mom. Everyone knows the both of them deserved and needed it.

After the doctors diagnosed Lilly's mom with cancer, she's been in and out of the hospital for months. She's been taking chemotherapy treatments and it eventually took away all of her energy. It even took away the hair on her head.

It was difficult for Lilly to deal with this. It was just layers of sadness toppling on top of each other. Many nights I had to sleep over at Lilly's (with permission from my parents and her mom) just so she would stop crying in her sleep. Sometimes I being there helped and other times it didn't.

We definitely didn't have a typical and normal relationship compared to other couples' relationships. I was always trying to find new ways to comfort my girlfriend while she was trying to find new ways to stop the nightmares. Everything just seemed really fucked up when it actually wasn't. This was just her way of dealing with it, and in time, I hope that she'll be okay.

Today just happened to be one of those lazy days where I couldn't even bother to get out of bed. I lay in bed for hours looking at the ceiling. It was a white color, but I developed some ideas in my head. If I could, maybe I could paint the ceiling with some drawings and designs I've created. It would liven up my room and it would pass the time away.

The sudden light from the outside made me groan and turn to my side. Mom walked to the window and pushed the curtains to let the sunlight in.

"Wake up Gerard! I know you miss her but get out of bed at least. Your dad and my friends, Sandra and Robert Livingston are coming over in about two hours. Dress nicely," mom ordered, stealing my blankets and throwing them to the floor.

I groaned again. "Is she coming?" I asked.

"If by "she" you mean Francine, then yes, she is."

"Alright, I'm getting up," I sighed, going to the bathroom.

I took a long shower to clear my thoughts. I will cave in some time, frantically dial Lilly’s number, and speak so fast that she can't understand me. I know it's going to happen. I just don't need a reason for it to happen way too soon.

That would be when Francine comes in. She's the most annoying girl I have ever met in my life. She has straight black hair but the top of her head looked like a whole bottle of blond hair dye dropped onto her head. It made her hair look like a huge eggshell was covering it.

She had disgusting mud brown eyes. Some would mistake them for innocence and genuine kindness, but I saw them as annoying and I wanted to gouge them out. I'm getting evil here but I don't care.

The last time she came here, I told her I lost my ring out by the front lawn. She helped me look for it, which took two long hours. By that time, her parents had to leave so she was out of my sight easily. If only I was lucky again this time.

Dad called Mikey and my name. The both of us gave each other dreary looks before heading down to greet Mr. and Mrs. Livingston through gritted teeth. I had a feeling they didn't like us at all.

Finally, the devil herself walked in through the door. "Gerard! Mikey!" she screeched and threw herself on us like we were family. I pushed her back and straightened my shirt. I would have to wash these clothes in bleach later.

Mikey ran up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He's a freaking traitor! Why didn't he warn me he was going to do that?! Now I have to deal with this demon on my own!

I ignored her and walked up to my room. Of course, she would follow. I sat down on my bed, grabbing my guitar. She sat down on my bed too.

"So, Gerard. How have you been?" she asked in a fake excited voice.

"Fine," I grumbled.

"I've been great! I'm on my school's volleyball team now and all these guys want to talk to me!" she said as though I cared and asked her.

My ears blocked her out as she continued to speak. I even strummed on my guitar strings extra hard so I could drown out her voice. The oblivious idiot didn't seem to notice I wasn't listening to a thing she said. I took advantage of that and began to pull together a song.