The Beginning of the End

When I woke up, I felt restricted and I couldn't see anything. All I saw was black. I started freaking out and screamed, trying to get my arms loose. None of it was working. I screamed again and began to cry.

Where is everyone? Why am I all alone? Where's Gerard?

Light flooded the room as I continued to scream and cry.

"Lilly! Calm down! You're fine!"

How am I fine?! I can't move my arms and I can hardly breathe! I started to cry again out of the fear and because my eyes stung so badly.

I felt two strong forces clutch my shoulders and whatever I was laying on sunk as the person leaned forward. What's worse is that I really could not see anything now. My eyes stung so much I had to keep them closed, hoping the pain would go away.

Maybe I was still in this horrible dream. I couldn't wake up from this nightmare! So far my mom passed away, I wake up in a strange place shrouded in complete blackness, and I'm about to be raped! Pinch me already, really, just do it now.

"Is she okay?" a slightly familiar voice asked, as if they actually cared. They're going to rape me too!

I screamed again and cried even harder. Why wasn't this nightmare ending? I need to get out.

"She's hyperventilating! What do we do?" the person holding me screamed.

"I don't know!" the familiar voice replied with a screech in their voice.

"You idiots, go get a paper bag!" a third familiar voice ordered.

The rustling sound of paper met my ears as I felt rough material cascade against my cheek. I opened my eyes again. The light blinded my eyes and I had to blink furiously to adjust to it.

Gerard's brown eyes looked back into mine with sadness. "Breathe," he whispered.

Eventually, my breathing evened out and I stopped crying. My eyes stopped stinging and I came to terms that they weren't going to rape me. That didn't explain why everything was so dark and I was in a blanket straightjacket. Those things didn't need explanations, I guess.

Gerard helped me sit up on what I could now see was a bed. It was his, actually. Why are we back in his room? The last thing I remember was the hospital. I shook my head. All of this was too much.

"Ray, you are a lifesaver," Gerard said every word slowly.

Ray smirked and gave a thumbs up. He sat on the floor next to me. "Uh, are you okay?" he asked quietly.

All I did was nod. I think I really was okay. I think I can accept my mom isn't suffering anymore. She would deny it all she wanted, but we could all see that she was in great amounts of pain with the chemotherapy treatments. She's better now, much better.

"Ray? What are you doing here? Give them privacy!" Matt groaned when he walked past. He walked into the room and pulled Ray out of the room by the back of his shirt.

I couldn't help but smile and laugh. Gerard seemed to notice that and smiled too. I was in need of some laughter after the events that happened and I could always count on Matt and Ray to act like immature idiots to do that.

"Lilly bean?"

My ears perked at the mention of my favorite nickname.

He visibly gulped and began drawing patterns on my shoulder blade.

"Just spit it out!" I laughed.

His eyes widened and he gulped again. "After the funeral, do you, maybe, want to, you know, tour with us?"

"I'm not in the band, I'm useless." Those were the first words that flew out of my mouth without my realization.

"You can hook up the instruments. They always need people for that anyways. You won't take up much space. We all chipped in money for a tour bus. You can sleep with me in my bunk. Please, come?"

"Calm down. I'll go."

His eyes widened at my answer. "Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to push you into this. You don't have to if you don't want to. You know what? I'm sorry I asked. That was wrong of me-"

"Shut up already!" I scolded, rubbing my temples. "I want to go. Maybe I'll figure out what I want to do for college. I heard being surrounded by music can be very inspirational."

However, before that, I have to attend a funeral.