The Beginning of the End

Frank left a few days ago, back to wherever he lived. I felt like a cock blocker the whole time he was here. It's strange; I shouldn't feel like that since Erik and Frank aren't gay for each other. At least...I hope not.

Anyways, I felt like a third wheel every time we went out since they would talk in some boy language so I couldn't understand anything in their conversations. Trust me; it gets lonely.

It led me to spending most of my time talking to Gerard through texts. I could tell he was laughing whenever I told him I was with Erik and Frank. Of course, he doesn't use "LOL" or those text talk words, but I knew he was laughing at me! Yet, he sympathized with me as well. He didn't do it in a boyfriend-like way, but in a friend way. I'm not sure if I should take that as a good or bad thing.

"Knock, knock."

"Yeah Erik?" I asked, opening my bedroom door.

"Someone wants to talk to you," he said and turned to walk away. I raised an eyebrow and watched his retreating figure walk down the stairs. Since when did he talk cryptically?

Actually, he's been weird since yesterday. We were hanging out at the beach again when all of a sudden; he told me that I should pack my things into my suitcase. I asked him why he wanted me to, and all he said was "Because."

Because. Gee, that solves many things doesn't it?

Even though I was annoyed—and I still am, by the way—I obeyed and threw all of my clothes and belongings into my suitcase last night. Right now, it was sitting by the kitchen downstairs.

I fixed my hair in the mirror and walked down the stairs. I couldn't help but to wonder who was waiting for me. It's a natural thing since he did say that someone was waiting for me. I want to know who it is.

Erik was standing outside his door. He turned his head, saw me, and waved me over. Reluctantly, I opened the door and snaked my way out so I was able to stand next to him. My eyes widened at the car in Erik's driveway and the person leaning against said car.

My throat tightened and I turned around to walk back inside.

Sometimes I hate Erik for being faster than I am. "Stop being a kid and just go to him," he sighed, grabbing my arm.

I shook my head.

"Lilly, why not?"

I shook my head again, closing my eyes, and tried to get away again.

"Lillian Summers, why?" he now growled, gripping my shoulders so I would have to look him in the eye.

"Shut up, I'm going to miss you!"

The anger in his eyes softened, but now there was something else in his eyes. He knew I was telling the truth, but he also knew that wasn't the complete truth. I'm nervous to confront Gerard. I'm afraid that all I'll picture is that faithful night when everything happened.

Erik sighed. "Indeed but now you know where I live—wow that sounds so stalkerish—and you have my number, so you'll be fine. I'm not going anywhere." He hugged me tightly. "Now, go and talk to Gerard. He even asked for my permission here."

That probably did it because the next thing I knew, I was facing Gerard, two feet away from him. He smiled sadly at me, the crookedness of his smile made butterflies erupt in my stomach. Well, at least I know my feelings are still the same, even if I'm still afraid of him.

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. He blinked at me, waiting for me to say something. If he wants me to, then I shall.

"I've been through too much crap to let something like this bring me down. I've been beaten up by a stupid jock, my mom passed away of cancer, I want to go to college, I want to be happy-"

"Lilly you're back to the old you," he gasped.

I shook my head a few times and scrunched my eyebrows together. "What are you talking about and I'm mad you cut me off."

"See?" Gerard pointed, almost excitedly, "the old Lilly says her opinion no matter how mean it is, but at least she was honest. She was fiery and fearless and didn't care what others thought about her. That's the girl I fell in love with."

"Gerard I want to be happy," I whimpered. "I want to go home."

"You can be, with me. Come back with me. We can solve everything."

I looked back at Erik. He was standing by the door in a stoic gesture. I left Gerard at the driveway and walked up to Erik. I was by no means rejecting Gerard. I needed to go to Erik though.

"It sucks that I have to lose you again when I just found you," he said sadly. "But I want you to be happy and if he makes you happy, I'm willing to give you up all over again. Don't forget to call and visit."

"I won't," was my automatic answer as I rushed into giving Erik a hug. I pulled his neck down to make him feel the impact of the hug. I could never ask for a better best friend.

I saw Gerard walk into the house, carrying my suitcase out. It was strange how Erik forced me to pack my things last night. At first, I thought that was his way of telling me I needed to go find another place, so I didn't argue. Now that I've experienced the talk with Gerard, I see why Erik made me pack. He really does know me inside and out. I closed my eyes and took in this moment with Erik.

"I love you best friend," we said at the exact same time. We both laughed at that and smiled at each other. "Twin telepathy."

I gave Erik one last meaningful hug before I turned to Gerard and walked towards him. We sat in his car as he slowly began to pull out of the driveway. Erik waved at me from his front door. I gave him a small smile and he did the same until his house was out of view. The moment I closed my eyes, Gerard reached for my hand, tracing circles on the back of my hand. Yet again, everything felt okay again. If others had to make the same decision I had to make, I'm sure some would have a nagging feeling in the back of their mind; a feeling where they think they're making the wrong decision. But, for me, this all felt right. I guess this is a new start. A new life. A new beginning.