Parkers Shadow

“Thanks for tonight Shade, I feel much better.” Fiona smiled from the passenger seat, beaming. We’d been out all night, running wild under the stars just for a laugh. Driving home was such a peaceful activity right at that time.

“Hey no problem Fee, anything for my little sister.” I reached over and scrubbed her head jokingly.

Fee giggled and leaned back in her seat breathing a sigh. “I can’t believe I even cared about Derrick, why would I get so hung up over him…?” She mused. “Thanks again for helping me forget him. I had fun talking to you tonight.”

I smiled turning to look at her, so small, her skin a smooth shade of alabaster in the darkness of midnight. She was the greatest little sister I could have asked for, we were closer than most. “You know what Fee?”

She looked to me. “Yeah?”

“You don’t need him, he’s a cheating, lying, backstabbing, horrible-”

“Shady!” Fee screamed, leaning forward eyes wide, pointing ahead of us.
I frowned and looked forward too. “Holy shit!” I screamed so loud the glass seemed to shudder.

We’d veered onto the other lane. A truck was hurdling towards us at terrifying speeds.
My mind was working painstakingly slow, I spun the wheel without thinking to do it then froze. We were side onto the oncoming truck.

“Shady!” Tears were streaming down Fees slowed down figure. “Shady!” She wailed, reaching for the wheel, trying desperately to steer us away from certain death. I could only frown at her, I didn’t know what to do. I never thought I’d ever be in such a situation. “Shade, Shady!” Her final pleas were pointless.

An earsplitting horn was the last sound she would have heard that night, the truck smashed into her side of the car first, completely obliterating it.

Her head smashed into the windscreen, there were cracking sounds that cracked through my heart full of regret. The blood was searing down her face, it flooded onto her cheeks, staining them crimson. Her head had cracked the glass and she ricocheted off the windscreen and smashed back into the seat.

The airbags exploded too late. My body hurled forward and my head met the steering wheel and I could feel my life seeping away.

“Fee?” I whispered trying to reach out to her even though my arm felt as heavy us one hundred sandbags.

She made no response, just stared ahead with vacant eyes.

Death echoed from her lips.

I woke with a start. I was screaming violently into my pillow, smashing my fist into my mattress viciously. “Fiona!” I shrieked, squeezing my eyes shut very tightly.

There was a loud thud as mum and Damien bombarded into my bedroom - mum holding Damien’s baseball bat.

“Oh not again Shady!” Damien groaned, rubbing his eyes. I realized tears had soaked my sheets and were still cascading down my cheeks.

“Shade what’s wrong baby?!” Mum dropped the bat and crossed the floor to the edge of my bed. She began rubbing my back soothingly. My lips kept trembling. “You keep screaming, and yelling ‘Fiona’… I thought you said you’d gotten over all that.”

I shuddered at the picture of Fee’s blood stained face against the broken windshield. “I keep dreaming about it… over and over again. It’s become almost every night now.” I whispered, lip trembling.

“We know…” Damien muttered from the doorway

Mum gave him a stern look. “Shady the accident… it wasn’t your fault…”

I shook my head furiously. “I wasn’t watching the road mum… it was my fault.” My voice was almost a growl. I’d hated myself ever since that night.

“Shady stop all this! It wasn’t your fault. Do you really think Fee would want you to consume your whole life with guilt over something that wasn’t your fault?”

I said nothing.

“Well do you?!”

I growl was building in my throat. I rolled off the bed and grasped my lamp. With one strong swing it went hurdling into the wall. “Well Fee isn’t here is she?!” I cried out. “- And it’s my entire bloody fault!” I grabbed the frame of my ‘el cheepo’ desk and pushed it over, my computer toppled to the ground, the screen smashing. Papers and books flew everywhere.

Mums face was utterly shocked, Damien watched me with some sort of understanding in his eyes. He was the only one who slightly understood what I was going through, though he didn’t understand that much in all honesty.

I screamed and thrashed around, kicking my chair out of the way till I could pry my closest door open. I ripped the clothes from their hangers and threw them out behind me.

Mum began sobbing as she pulled herself to her feet and backed out of my room - pulling Damien along with her. Damien shut the door behind them and they left me to let my anger out.

I really let the fury loose once I was alone. I took a bit of broken wood from my wrecked desk and slammed it over and over again into the lavender painted walls. A whole grew to the size of me head and then I began punching it till my knuckles began bleeding. In my exhaustion my legs buckled and I collapsed to a ball on the ground.

After a long period of time the door cracked open and a line of light brightened the room.

“Shady… it’s been too much now… go to sleep, I’ll make arrangements in the morning.”

I didn’t understand what she was talking about but I obeyed her wishes and went to sleep.