Life's a climb

That night at home I sat on my bed and thought. About a lot of things. I realized that I was always alone in the house. It was very rare that my mum and dad showed their faces. Their work always carries them abroad. And David was always at work and I was usually on the phone when he returned. I haven’t had a proper conversation with anyone for as long as I can remember. I began to write a list of everything I’ve done the past week and re-read over it. I was shocked to see how many times I had been horrible to a person or disrespected anyone in anyway. I remember Josh’s face. The look of sadness etched on his face and how tired he looked after probably staying up half the night; just to finish my homework.
The look on the kids face when I stole his muffin. What kind of a person am I? So as the night grew on and the lights faded; I made a plan to change my self. Number 1 on the list was: Clothes. But the thing that got me through the night was the fact that Ben had said I was pretty.
The next day in school, I had about 50 people staring at me before I had even got to the doors. For once I was early enough to get a space in the car park without beating anyone to it. I’m wearing plain jeans and a band top. Not many people know I listen to Bands like Madina Lake, Youmeatsix and Hey Monday. My brother David as always was waiting at the doors ready to accompany me to my locker to carry my books. He was staring at Abbie again. They would be cute together.
“Hey Bro” I said cheerfully, shocked at how easy it was to be nice to him.
He turned to stare at me. A strange expression lurked across his face. Maybe he thought I was being sarcastic. Or that I maybe had something up my sleeve.
“Hi Holly” he said. Regretting the informal hi as soon as he’d said it.
“How are you today? I never ask you that. I’m sorry for the way I kept acting. I should be here for you as a sister. Not you being here for me as a slave.”
“Thanks Holly. That means so much to me. I love you sis. Don’t forget it.”
We shared a moment of happiness and I quickly hugged him. He hugged me back hard, squeezing my shoulders before we broke apart.
“So… You like Abbie do you?” I asked with a smirk spreading across my face.
“How do you know?” he asked shock covering his face.
I laughed and ran across towards Abbie.
“Holz? Where are you going?” he called as I ran.
“Hey. Abbie. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure Holly.” She answered looking at me weird. I don’t usually talk to her.
“Well I was just wondering if you had a boyfriend? My brother likes you and I think you and David would just… I don’t know.. Fit?” I said grinning hugely.
She smiled and looked over at David, who was blushing scarlet red, then waved him over. He walked slowly and clumsily, dragging his feet.
I let them talk and went into the school building smiling a genuine smile.
I was at my lockers when I found Rachael behind me. I turned slowly and smiled up at her.
“Holly, what the hell do you think your doing? You can’t come into school dressed like that and be a popular. I hope your just having a bad day.” She said, her voice filled with venom.
“What are you saying Rachael? I can’t be in the group if I wear these clothes? And as for if I’m having a bad day, no I’m not. Every other day has been a bad day and this is the first good day I’ve had for a long time. I’m happy with myself and if you have a problem with that. Shove your group where the sun don’t shine, because I don’t care anymore. I want to be me. Not a clone of you.” I was shouting by the end of it and had attracted quite a few peoples attentions. Rachael looked taken aback and stomped off in the opposite direction.
At lunch that day I sat by myself and thought about what I was doing. Was it the right thing. Deep down inside I knew I wanted to go and make up. But in my head and heart I know I’m doing the right thing. David is now going out with Abbie. Turns out she liked him to. I’m happy for him.
Just as I thought I was going to be alone all of lunch, Some people out of my year sat down beside me. I recognized some of the faces out of some of my class and some of the people I have bullied before. They smiled and sat down.
“We heard what you did this morning. You know… the argument with Rachael. We heard about you wanting to change and to just be yourself. So we thought we’d give you a chance.”
I smiled and tears welled up in my eyes and over spilled. I had never cried for a long time. I had learned to make myself strong.
So I sat with them and talked and talked and talked. And what shocked me was, they listened; to the most unimportant things. And it made me feel wanted. So I listened back. And when Ben joined us 10 minutes later I was laughing and joking and having fun with everyone. Not the plastic fun. The real fun!