Byna's Blessing

I was about thirteen when I saw her again.

When I was ten and Cadace twelve, father came down with a weird disease. It killed him slowly, and painfully, while Cadace and I watched. It was a less than desirable outcome, but he died in his sleep, and they say that that is the most peaceful way to go.

For the first year, we suffered greatly. We had no money. Still, I hunted, so we lived on meat. It was not the desired diet. However, it was easy enough for me to hunt for three people, never mind Cadace and I, so we could sell excess meat we had, and keep enough grain and greens. It was bad hunting season, but, when things went scarce, people panicked, the worst thing to do when you are hunting. People in the village ran out of meat (or at least good-quality meat), and we could provide it.

Hare, especially, fetched quite a high price because there was good meat and, usually, hare got away without dogs. But, rabbit sold just as well, especially at winter or bad hunting seasons.

At those times, there were precious few people with meat, and it became highly prized.
Cadace said we should save up and carry livestock instead, first some poultry, and then maybe a cow or pig. If not, we should get a dog, with which we could bring down deer. I agreed it was a good idea, like sustainable hunting, but not as exciting, so I decided to keep on my own hunting.

One day, I was out hunting. This time I had gone with Cadace. I was around thirteen, and this seemed like the last time this year I’d wear my favourite tunic.

Even as I stood outside the house waiting for Cadace, the air was cold on my arms and legs, the ground wet upon my feet. I had taken to wearing gloves, or rather, gauntlets, with no fingers. It covered my forearms, but soon I’d have sleeves.

Taking my blade in hand, I set off after Cadace, who stormed ahead, running, as he was wont to do at the start of a hunt. Eventually, he slowed, trying to click into the mindset. I was always in the mindset, and, in recent years, had become a very light sleeper.

The sun was shining bright when we finally started. Cadace ran clumsily, walked clumsily, and had inelegant ways. I looked at him and compared, wondering how he was my brother.
His expertise only became apparent when the hunt properly began. He nabbed a rabbit by the ears and slit its throat in one swift movement. That was the same way I did it, although I preferred approach from behind and dive, then do as he’d done. I’d learnt his ways when I was little.

Cadace looked clumsy and blundering, but, there, he carried himself well.

We had a sizable haul by the time it was getting dark. Cadace tied the corpses to his belt, and we began to double back on ourselves.

It began to rain.

“Blast!” cried Cadace. Both of us sought cover in the forest.

We were quiet. The silence of the forest was broken only by the sound of dripping water and our slow breathing.

Cadace shattered the stillness by laughing.

“You’d be no good on a hunt,” I sneered.

“Oh well. Least I’d remember to wipe my blade after.”

“Wiped it, didn’t I?” I smiled.

“Anyone would think you didn’t like Byna.” Cadace was grinning.

“You don’t know the half of it, Cadace.” I reached for my blade. It wasn’t there.

Grabbing my belt, I looked for it and couldn’t see it. I crouched to the ground and looked around. It wasn’t there. I scrabbled for it, but it was nowhere to be found.

No regard for either Cadace or the rain, I darted out of the forest, still crouching, looking close to the ground. I doubled back on myself, becoming more frantic as I went along.

Not my blade, no, it can’t have gone, it’s never disappeared, not once, never… My thoughts became sillier and sillier. How could I have lost it?!

When I reached the place where I’d had my blade last, I saw Byna, testing the point against her palm.

“So, it’s you…” I began, breathing out my anger. “How d’you get my blade?”

She didn’t answer, just remained silent.

“Will you give it back to me?” I asked, quiet but just as angry.

“Only after you give me your answer.”

“That’s blackmail!”

“Whatever must you think of me?” she said, her voice turning syrupy. I shivered in the rain, where, again, my look was cold. “I would never blackmail you.”

“You led a devoted follower to a snowy grave,” I said bitterly, “so I think you’re pretty damn barbaric. How should I know what you’re capable of?”

“You should trust me.”

“It’s clear to me that that’s not possible.”

Holding my hand out, I, once again, asked for my blade, but Byna held it closer, and didn’t meet my eye.

“So what if I killed a follower? I want a child.”

“You shouldn’t have made yours mortal, then, should you? He’d still be alive if he was son of a god.”

“Daston couldn’t have children,” Byna said, her voice choked up, like she was going to start crying. “He said it was nonsense; we just needed time, so he said. We had time. We were married for hundreds and hundreds of years. I never got a child. The guy couldn’t have children even if he did know what he was doing.”

Staring at her sobbing, my mouth opened.

“I just want a child – what do you say?”

It was weird, but I couldn’t stand to look at her. My words got stuck in my mouth, but I forced myself to say them.

“I still… still say… no.”

Byna sighed and stood. She looked at my face. She reached out for my cheek and tipped it upwards to get a better look.

“Has anybody told you how beautiful you are?”

At a loss for words, I shook my head free.

“They should have,” the Goddess continued, “because you’re very pretty. Have you ever seen yourself?”

“Er… no, but people say…”

“I could describe you. Your face is normal, balanced, although you have slightly round
features, but your hair comes across it in gold-brown waves. It much frames your face. I must admit I have not seen much of your body. But I suppose it would not matter much.”

She paused. I was slightly unsettled by what she said until she said this: “I could not have wished for a better daughter. Well, if you yourself wished to become my daughter... Well, I should be happy to have one so pretty. So happy in fact…” Byna paused. “I am the childhood friend of Roella, Goddess of the Autumn, and I am well acquainted with his son, Plaimon. Have you heard of him? Most girls your age have. He is around fifteen years of age, tall, athletic and handsome, with fair hair and blue eyes, but he is immature in spirit, forever aged fifteen. He is the God of Love. It is quite the way that love should fall into the hands of a young boy, isn’t it? He may be able to find you a god suited to your beauty, if you accepted.”

Byna was quiet and I drew breath slowly. Her voice was intoxicating as I imagined Plaimon.

But… I had my eye on another boy, by the name of Nailan. He was a musician. His hair was not fair, but mouse, his face not clear but freckled. He had his imperfections. Plaimon wouldn’t. Plaimon was a god, and Nailan was a boy. Still, I loved him, though, and every blemish and imperfection made him who he was, and I loved him all the more for them…

“I do not need Plaimon, or his help.”

“As much as I would disapprove of you marrying a mortal, if you were my daughter, I could make your fancy love you just as much as you love him.”

“I would still prefer to take my own chances. I would still prefer to say no.”

There was a look of immense sadness in Byna’s eyes as she handed back the blade. It was funny, many insults glanced off her, but rejections seemed to hit her in a part too vulnerable for the human eye to see.

“Very well. I shall see you again, Latro.”

*

Taking my own chances have been a good idea. A couple of weeks later, Nailan asked me out.

Thrilled to bits, I was forced to take stock in my appearance. Embracing Nailan with bloody hands was not an option.

Nailan was not a shy boy. If he wished to kiss me, he would kiss me, and, if he wished to do more with me, he would make it clear and ask my permission.

He had taken me to a cave, way out from the village. We’d sat for a while. Talking. Comfy.
Nailan started kissing me. I kissed back. I ran my hands through his hair, which was soft and gorgeous.

Gently, he was holding me, and asked me whether I wanted to. I knew I was ridiculously young, but I was developed, or at least I had the right parts, I just hadn’t used them before.
This seemed like the right time to start.

Without a second thought, I said yes.

Nailan kissed me again, and it seemed no different, until I noticed where his hands were going. I shifted slightly, kind of scared despite the good feeling I got.

Neither of us said anything. I moved further towards Nailan, closer to him. I wanted to be as close as humanly possible. I wanted us to breathe together and move together as one.

Kissing him again and again, I became aware that Nailan’s hands seemed to have a life of their own. No other parts of his body had the same intentions… well, they hadn’t until he started pushing me downwards.

He pushed me onto my back, lying underneath him. By not resisting, I’d rendered myself helpless to him, but it didn’t really seem bad.

Still, I was fully clothed. Nailan undid my belt and took it off me; I squirmed and worked my tunic upwards to my waist, and it was from then upwards that I was fully clothed.

A sudden rush of exhilaration came over me as Nailan kissed me again, but it was not to last.

As I closed my eyes, Nailan’s warmth rushed away from me. I opened my eyes slowly and found a rat sitting on my chest.

I screamed. Instantly, I sat up and picked the rat up, cradling it in my hands until it ran away. When I looked up, I saw the majestic figure of Byna standing before me.

“What are you doing here?!”

“I told you I could see any mortal from Heaven. I saw you and the boy. What were you doing?!”

Blushing fiercely, I told the goddess to go away.

“Undressed from the waist down? You know that’s all he needs. I thought you were above this.”

“I still had my underwear on!” I protested.

“If I hadn’t intervened when I did you wouldn’t now!”

“What’s it to you?”

“You have superhuman abilities, and you waste them here, with him?!”

“That is my choice! Change him back!”

“I will not let a daughter of mine do filthy things like that to a mere boy!”

“I will never be a daughter of yours! Turn Nailan back, you wretch!”

Byna did not say anything; she just went. It was only after she left that I let myself sob.