Status: complete!(:
Unseen
Heat.
ALY: Right now, I am in a city that no one has ever heard of before. I am calling from the back of a café that the owner actually lives in. It’s nice to feel that feeling again after being gone so long. That feeling of home and love and family. It makes me miss you even more, but I can’t come home. I can never come home. I can’t ever be around HIM again. I hope you’re okay, Mom. I hope you’ve realized that HE is a piece of crap. I hope you’re safe. Maybe I’ll come home soon. Maybe HE will be gone by then and everything can go back to normal. I love you, Mom. Don’t ever forget that, no matter what happens, don’t forget it.
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HE never meant to ruin anything for me. Not at first. HE wanted to make me big. HE said I had 'potential'. I did everything to please him. I woke up at the crack of dawn to go model for sleazy photographers just to get my name out there. I acted in commercials for things like zit cream and weight loss programs. I did everything. HE was never satisfied with me. HE never congratulated me or told me HE was proud. HE just kept pushing and pushing and pushing me to do more. To be better. I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped and HE used it for his advantage. HE used me. HE destroyed me.
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ALY: Right now, I’m standing on a street corner in a city full of people and sun. It’s hot here, Mom. Hotter than it ever was at home. I’m going to have to buy some sunscreen or catch a bus far away really soon. It’s so hot. In a weird way it’s almost like being home again. Because it was hot before HE came. It was so hot. I have to go. It’s too hot. I love you, Mom. Believe me, I love you so much. Don’t forget that.
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It was so hot when HE showed up. Heat wave hot. Frying an egg on the sidewalk hot. Everything was hot. The sidewalk, the air, the buildings, the seats, and me. Everything burned at my touch. Everything was so hot. I couldn’t take it. I walked around with nothing but spankies and a sports bra on 24/7. It wasn’t appropriate but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered in this heat. HE came up to me. HE asked me if I was a model. I giggled. Giggled. It was too hot for giggling but I did. HE smiled, flashing that grin that can’t be stripped from my memory. It’s all because of the heat. It burned me, exposed my weaknesses, left me with nothing. It was so hot. But now? Now it’s ice cold. My body has been buried under six feet of slick, wet, cold snow. A blanket of snow, of silence. Everything I touch, everywhere I touch, nothing but cold, ice cold.
******************************************************************************
HE never meant to ruin anything for me. Not at first. HE wanted to make me big. HE said I had 'potential'. I did everything to please him. I woke up at the crack of dawn to go model for sleazy photographers just to get my name out there. I acted in commercials for things like zit cream and weight loss programs. I did everything. HE was never satisfied with me. HE never congratulated me or told me HE was proud. HE just kept pushing and pushing and pushing me to do more. To be better. I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped and HE used it for his advantage. HE used me. HE destroyed me.
******************************************************************************
ALY: Right now, I’m standing on a street corner in a city full of people and sun. It’s hot here, Mom. Hotter than it ever was at home. I’m going to have to buy some sunscreen or catch a bus far away really soon. It’s so hot. In a weird way it’s almost like being home again. Because it was hot before HE came. It was so hot. I have to go. It’s too hot. I love you, Mom. Believe me, I love you so much. Don’t forget that.
******************************************************************************
It was so hot when HE showed up. Heat wave hot. Frying an egg on the sidewalk hot. Everything was hot. The sidewalk, the air, the buildings, the seats, and me. Everything burned at my touch. Everything was so hot. I couldn’t take it. I walked around with nothing but spankies and a sports bra on 24/7. It wasn’t appropriate but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered in this heat. HE came up to me. HE asked me if I was a model. I giggled. Giggled. It was too hot for giggling but I did. HE smiled, flashing that grin that can’t be stripped from my memory. It’s all because of the heat. It burned me, exposed my weaknesses, left me with nothing. It was so hot. But now? Now it’s ice cold. My body has been buried under six feet of slick, wet, cold snow. A blanket of snow, of silence. Everything I touch, everywhere I touch, nothing but cold, ice cold.