Unseen

ALY: Right now, I am alone. I am completely, utterly alone. I don’t know what time it is, but it’s dark. If you were here, Mom, you would be telling me to go inside. To get out of the streets. To go somewhere safe. But I do feel safe, here on this dark street corner with nothing but the stars for light. I can actually see them, Mom. There isn’t any smog or artificial lights to block them from my view here. And I feel so safe. You wouldn’t like it, here on this dark street corner. You wouldn’t think it was safe. But sometimes, the darkness, the stillness, is safer than any home out there. And I’m not afraid. So even if you are HIM, you can know, I’m not afraid anymore, not here on this dark street corner. I love you, Mom. Try to never ever forget that.

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Sometimes, I like to lie. I like to tell myself that IT never happened. That HE never happened. I like to waste just a few moments telling myself that it’s all okay. I do that for my mom too, on her messages. I tell her I’m not afraid when I’m really terrified and I tell her that I’m safe when I’m surrounded by danger. Every day that danger haunts me. But not as much as the danger of home does. That danger causes such incomparable fear in my tiny body that I don’t mind the danger of a new city or a scary street. The danger that this new world offers is nothing. Not in comparison to going home to HIM and letting IT happen again. That’s why I do this. That’s why I run. It’s safe. It’s my home. Nothing matters when I run. Not home. Not HIM. Not IT.