Alexithymia.

Age 10

Adeline’s bright eyes looked out at the bustling playground in front of her.

There were all sorts of kids in different shapes and sizes running around, swinging on the swings, sliding down the slides, and just standing around talking.

Everyone around her seemed so full of life, so happy. It made Adeline jealous. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she felt happy, or when she felt anything at all.

For the longest time Adeline had been numb. Completely void of emotion. Almost as if her heart was made of ice. But it wasn’t her fault. It was just how she was born. Blank.

Adeline’s tiny, frail hands gripped the chains of her swing and she stared at the mulch beneath her feet.

She wondered why she was the one born like this. Why not her sister Addaleigh? But the truth was Addaleigh had her own problems. Very much like her sister, problems she was born with.

At a young age Addaleigh was diagnosed with Dementia and Schizophrenia. Dementia and Schizophrenia caused her to experience gruesome hallucination after gruesome hallucination. Not long after diagnosing her problem, Addaleigh was sent off to Springdale Mental Institute.

Adeline felt like she belonged in Springdale along with her sister. But having Alexithymia isn’t enough to check you into a mental institute. Much to Adeline’s chagrin. But therapy had to suffice.

Adeline heard someone sit down on the swing next to her. She didn’t bother to look up. No one in her class bothered to socialize with her.

The person cleared their throat causing Adeline to look up.

Her eyes landed on an unfamiliar looking boy. As unfamiliar as he was, he looked just like every other boy in Adeline’s grade. Except his hair. Unlike all the other boys’ hair—neatly groomed and cut short—this boy’s hair was almost touching his shoulders and unkempt. Adeline liked it. Different was definitely a good thing in her book.

“I’ve never seen you here before,” she spoke up. The sound of her voice was unusual to her.

“That’s ‘cause I just moved here,” the boy said. Adeline couldn’t help but notice he had a slight British accent.

Adeline asked, “From where?”

“Essex, England,” he told her.

“Well, I'm Adeline,” she smiled timidly. She never really was sure when to smile. Yet another side affect of Alexithymia.

“That’s a pretty name,” he smiled back. Unlike Adeline he knew the appropriate time to smile and just how to do it. “My name is Alex.”

“It's nice to meet you, Alex,” she assured him.

“Ditto,” he said, chuckling a bit.

That was the first time Adeline met Alex. And little did Adeline know Alex would be the one to radically change her life.