Hogwarts, A Musical

“I’m going to kill that bitch!” growled Draco to his twin sister Bekkah in his twin sister’s dorm. He began to cough violently, and spat up some mucus. “Autumn did something! She got me sick!”

“Oh hush up,” said Bekkah. “You are just sick because you’ve been brooding about the grounds like a nutter. Brighten up, will you?!”

Bekkah took out a tube of her favorite lip gloss and began to apply it to her sultry lips. “See, you get all worked up over stupid shit. Like seriously, get over it. You’re already going prematurely gray, and I can see your wrinkles too grandpa Draco.”

She snickered, and he threw a pillow at her. “Shut the hell up!” he shouted. “I do not have gray hair and I do NOT have wrinkles!”

“If you are going to be an asshole, then get out,” said Bekkah as she pointed to the door. Draco shook his head. He didn’t want to leave his twin; she was the only one in the world who knew how he felt. “So, how did rehearsals go other than the fact that Autumn wasn’t there?”

“Oh, it was so fucked up,” growled Draco. “Joanne Nerdycuore was placed as Juliet. Ha! Like she could have the talent to pull that off! She was so bumbling like a fool! And in the middle of practice, she starts screaming at me like a lunatic!”

“Wow, that is very unlike her,” said Bekkah. “And I thought she was really bright and accomplished.”

“She only appears to be so,” said Draco with a sneer. “But then… everything changed. When… Rosie walked in.” He began to stare off into space with a look on his face that mimicked the effects of love potion.

“Oh no, you haven’t fallen for the new girl?” asked Bekkah as she thwacked his head. “Please don’t do this. You know you fall too deep for the wrong people, and then you end up getting into trouble. Just go after chicks on your level.”

“I revel in the fact that she is above my level,” swooned Draco. “It only makes me want to shag her that much more. God, I bet she shags like a minx…”

“GAG!” cried Bekkah as she made vomit noises. “Please keep that to yourself.”

“She’s going to be mine…” said Draco. “First, she will be my Juliet to my Romeo, and then, she will be my girlfriend.”
________________________________________________________________________

Rehearsals for the next couple of weeks were canceled due to Snape having the flu. Draco prayed that his flu would get better, but his symptoms only worsened, and by the time Snape got back to his normal brooding self, Draco found himself in St. Mungo’s.

Meanwhile, as Snape was ready to rip out his hair in rehearsal, Autumn couldn’t help but have the world’s biggest smile on her face. “Pst! Bekkah!” said Autumn as she waved to her. “What’s the news on Draco? Is he going to make it to performance day?”

“Highly doubt it,” said Bekkah. “He’s real bad. And thanks for getting him really sick…”

“Oh well, it was the price to pay for peace and quiet,” said Autumn.

“THE PLAY HAS BEEN CANCELED!” growled Snape. “WE HAVE NO UNDERSTUDY FOR DRACO! So, I’m sorry, but the play is canceled.”

“I could play Romeo!” shouted a voice from the back of the Great Hall. In strolled a dark haired, skinny emo boy named Dylan Zamora, of Hufflepuff house. Autumn’s jaw hit the floor; this guy was so hot with his black skinnies under his school robes. She’d heard about how hot this kid was, but she’d never seen him before. He was a fourth year who pretty much sat in the shadows, and tried not to draw attention to himself in school. He was the brooding, mysterious type that would always surprise you.

“Dylan, I haven’t the time for tomfoolery,” said Snape angrily. “Are you serious about this?”

“Which one of you hot chicks is Juliet?” asked Dylan, looking at Autumn, Bekkah, Joanne, and Astoria. All four girls blushed and pointed at Autumn. He walked over to her, and spoke in a soft voice. “Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death; I am content, so thou wilt have it so. I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye, 'tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow; nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads: I have more care to stay than will to go: come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so. How is't, my soul? Let's talk; it is not day…”

Autumn began to swoon, and she looked down at her script and said, “It is, it is: hie hence, be gone, away! It is the lark that sings so out of tune, straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps. Some say the lark makes sweet division; this doth not so, for she divideth us: some say the lark and loathed toad change eyes, o, now I would they had changed voices too! Since arm from arm that voice doth us affray, hunting thee hence with hunt's-up to the day, o, now be gone; more light and light it grows…”

“WE HAVE OUR NEW ROMEO AT LAST!” cried Snape as he hugged Dylan, and then quickly let go. “You are Romeo until Draco gets better. All right, you are all dismissed! Good work Dylan!”

“Pst,” said Neville as he tapped Joanne on the shoulder. She turned around, her lovely brown curls bouncing against her shoulders. “Come with me…” Neville nervously took Joanne’s hand, and guided her to the seventh floor. “I-I have to blindfold you. Please trust me. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

Joanne sighed, and let him blindfold her. Neville led her into the Room of Requirement when the door appeared after pacing back and forth several times. Gently, he sat her down on a very comfortable armchair, and whispered in her ear. “I’m going to take off the blindfold now, please shut your eyes, and don’t open them till I ask?”

Joanne nodded, and Neville took off the blindfold, and she was as good as her word. Neville quickly got prepared, and then grabbed the remote, ready to press play. “Okay, you can open your eyes now.” He hit play as soon as she opened her eyes, and Joanne could not stop giggling and blushing as Neville began to sing and dance to Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. He was dressed in tight black pants and turtleneck, and had a black hat similar to the one Lady Gaga had in her video.

“Oh my goodness,” smiled Joanne as he continued to dance. “God, I am getting so turned on by this…”

Neville grinned wickedly, and continued until the song ended. “So, I take it that you liked my dancing?”

Joanne shot up from her seat, and pulled Neville into a passionate kiss. Neville threw his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. The both of them continued to kiss passionately as the room began to change. Rose petals fell from the ceiling in slow motion, soft classical music surrounded them, their notes floating and circling as if to bind them. Joanne pulled away suddenly, and all the rose petals fell to the floor and disintegrated, the music stopped, and she stepped back from Neville.

“No,” she whispered as she shook her head. “I-I can’t…”

She turned her back to him, tears starting to form in her eyes. She promised herself that she wouldn’t give her heart to anyone ever. She promised that she would remain chaste after that incident with Snape. She couldn’t bear to deal with the heartache and pain of relationships, so she thought it best to avoid them.

“Can’t what?” asked Neville gently. He put his hands gently on her shoulders, and she turned around and nearly knocked him over.

“I can’t lead you on, Neville,” said Joanne. “I’ve sworn to myself that I’d never give my heart to another, to never date… I’ve just been in such crappy relationships that I’ve just given up… I know what you want of me, and I’m sorry to say you are wasting your time.”

“My time isn’t wasted,” said Neville, his eyes locking with mine. “I made you happy, I made you smile and laugh. I was with you. I would call that time well spent.”

Joanne blushed and walked backwards, her arm reaching behind her, groping for the door. She stepped on the back of her boots, and went flying backwards. “Gotcha!” said Neville as he caught her before she hit the floor. He slowly brought her back up, and brushed the stray curl from her face. She shivered with secret pleasure, and stared into his warm eyes.

“Th-thanks,” she stammered. “Well, it’s getting late. I’d better go back to my dorms. Loads of studying to do now.”

“Well, I shan’t keep you from your studies, Miss Bellacuore,” said Neville. He kissed her gently. “Good night.”

“Night,” she whispered as she walked out of the Room of Requirement, and ran smack dab into Hermione.

“HEY!” cried Hermione, books flying everywhere. “Oh thank God it’s you and not Malfoy. Come on, I’ve got our study plans all outlined.” With that, the two girls headed to Joanne’s dorms, leaving Neville to walk to Gryffindor tower alone and sad.
________________________________________________________________________

“What’s the matter?” asked Rosie the next day at breakfast to Neville. “You seem a bit glum. How did things turn out?”

“She doesn’t want a boyfriend,” he said sadly. “So it was in vain.”

“Aw, well she will come around,” said Rosie. “Did you guys have any connection at all? Like did you even kiss?”

“Yeah, twice,” said Neville, turning red. “It was nice.”

“I have another brilliant idea,” said Rosie, waggling her eyebrows expressively. “Since Christmas is coming up, why don’t you get her a little something… naughty. Girls love it when a man gets her naughty things. But don’t go too far. Find a happy medium.”

Neville nodded, and took a bite of toast. He looked over and saw that Joanne was over at the Slytherin table with Autumn, Trey, and Bekkah. He saw her whisper something into Bekkah’s and Autumn’s ear, and all three of them began to laugh wildly. He prayed to God they weren’t laughing about him. He had enough on his plate, what with Malfoy jumping out and jinxing him whenever he pleased, his parents who had lost their sanity lay up in the bedlam section of St. Mungo’s, and his always disappearing toad, Trevor. He stared at Joanne, and when she looked up at him, she blushed and turned away.

“What’s wrong?” asked Bekkah. “Who were you staring at?”

“Nobody,” said Joanne as she opened her mail. “Ooh look at that! We’re performing Romeo and Juliet on New Year’s Eve! I can’t wait for that!”

“Don’t change the subject,” said Autumn. She looked around, and began to tick off names of guys that were within distance of their table. “Seamus? Dean? Harry? Ron? Fred? Cedric? Blaise? Neville?”

Joanne turned crimson upon hearing Neville’s name, and the two girls squealed with laughter. “You like cauldron melter boy?!” laughed Autumn. “Ah well, you know what they say: when a guy can make a cauldron melt, he can probably make a girl melt.”

“Ooh!” said Bekkah. “I bet Joanne’s panties dampen every time his name is mentioned! NEVILLE NEVILLE NEVILLE!”

“Yeah, Trey, go check and see if she’s got wet drawers,” laughed Bekkah.

“Okay,” said Trey with a shrug, and Joanne crossed her legs tightly.

“NO!” she screamed loudly. Trey laughed and gave her a friendly hug.

“You didn’t think I was really going to check now did you?”

Joanne shot him a deadly look. “Okay, maybe I was going to,” smirked Trey. “Only for amusement’s sake. I’ll leave your vag for Neville to check out.”

“UGH!” cried Joanne as she pulled her hands over her ears in disgust. “Sei terrible! You are horrible!”

“Thank you!” said Trey as he got up and bowed. Joanne rolled her eyes. “Hey does anyone else smell the sweet smell of jizz?”

Joanne’s whole body turned red, and she got up and began to walk out of the Great Hall, the laughter of Autumn and Bekkah still ringing in her ears. “Puttane…” she muttered, and then ran into someone who caught hold of her. It was Neville.

“Um, hi,” he said nervously. “Want to go for a walk around the grounds? The weather is quite nice.”

“I-I have to go to the bathroom,” said Joanne as she ducked into the girl’s room. Wow, was that the best excuse she could give him? She sat down on the toilet, and ran her hands through her curly hair. Why couldn’t he just get the message and just leave her be?

She emerged from the cubical, and began to wash her hands thoroughly. Hermione soon entered, and gasped at Joanne. “Gosh! What’s happened to you? You look upset?”

“Oh, it’s just Trey, his sister, and Bekks,” said Joanne. “They were joking around and I just got offended by what they said about me. I know they were joking around, but I’m not one for sexual remarks. I’m like the world’s biggest prude.”

“Oh, I understand,” said Hermione. “Thank God Ron and Harry don’t talk about that stuff. I’m fortunate enough that they don’t talk about sex, but then again, I have to hear about Ron’s love for chocolate frogs and candy, and then Harry’s quidditch matches. All of it just bores me to tears. And they call me boring…”

“I know! They should pick up a book sometimes,” smiled Joanne. “I mean really, they are so uncultured!”

Hermione laughed and powdered her nose. “Since when do you wear makeup?” Joanne asked as she applied eyeliner and eye shadow.

“Since the beginning of this year,” said Hermione. “I’ve read several beauty books on how to properly do makeup, and I just take what I learn…”

“Well, you are something else,” said Joanne as she applied her lipgloss.