Disease

The tension between Oliver and Afton began to ease throughout the day after her doctor’s visit. Oliver was relieved to know things were going better, Afton was relieved that he was at least happy for her. They had been tense around each other since before Afton left the flat, an apparent bad mood worn on Oliver’s sleeve as he acted coldly towards her. It was still tense between them, but not as heavy and lung-crushing as it had been before she told him the news.

He moved to sit alone on the couch, his laptop resting on his lap. Afton tried to be near him, to pick up on any radiation of happiness he could possibly give off. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much happiness radiating off of him. She was put off by this, wondering why he had shown some interest in her news, and now he was distancing himself from her. Neither of them particularly liked this feeling of separation.

In Oliver’s mind, it had to be done. He sat there, looking hard at the illuminated screen of his laptop while Afton sat on the couch with him, trying to inch closer and closer with a book in her hand. Being inconspicuous never was a strong point of hers though, and Oliver eventually stood up, setting his laptop on the coffee table next to Afton’s while he walked away.

At least he played off as to getting himself a glass of water, spending more time in the kitchen by himself than what was probably normal, but it worked. He was away. He was showing her what it was like to be alone and ignored. After all, that was how he had felt now for the past weeks that Afton had treated him so low. Apparently sometime between the visit to Matt’s house and just days ago, Oliver had decided that it was time to man up.

And not just man up in the sense of stop being completely whipped, but take it further than that to show Afton the exact feelings he had experienced. Was this cruel? Perhaps just a bit, seeing as how his girlfriend was dying. But now, as he had learned the news of her illness finally easing up on her, maybe it was all right for him to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Afton sat on the couch with her book, dejected and not paying the least bit of attention to what was happening on the pages. As far as she was concerned, the only thing she was looking for was some kind of attention from Oliver. Anything so that she could know that he still cared, after his stint of being in a bad mood since the morning. She hoped it wouldn’t last long, because she wanted him right now. She needed him.

Standing up and walking into the kitchen, Afton found Oliver looking out of a window while he sipped a glass of water.

She watched him for a moment, not wanting to bother the intense stare he was hosting. The outside looked so much more interesting when Afton watched Oliver watch the scenery intensely, his eyes scanning the bleak surroundings outside of their flat building. He looked so deep in thought, lost to what was happening in his mind at the moment. Sometimes Afton wished she could read his mind, to know what he was always thinking. He was such a mystery, and so good at hiding things.

For now, she hoped he wasn’t hiding anything again. She didn’t know if she could take that right now.

Afton walked up to him, her side touching his as she leaned her head onto him. There was silence between the pair, nothing said while Afton held her breath, waiting to see what Oliver would do.

He sighed, stepped away from her without a word as he poured his glass of water down the sink, watching it drain while Afton in turn watched him again.

Rejected. She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t believe he was acting this way, after she what she had told him. Ends couldn’t meet in her mind to provide any answers, as Afton was lost not. She just wanted to know why he was acting like this. Like he didn’t love her anymore, because he was so cold. So turned-off towards her. And it scared Afton.

“I was wonderin’ if yeh wanted to--”

“I don’t feel well, Afton,” he snipped, cutting her short while he set his glass in the sink and walked from the kitchen.

Her breath was caught in her throat as she watched his backside retreat, moving into the living room again. Nothing made sense today.

And suddenly this felt like role-reversal.

The only person mildly enjoying it was Oliver, because for once now Afton was seeing the exact way she had been acting for so long now. And Oliver had not once stopped devoting himself to her the entire time. The true test now was to see how Afton would react to her own treatment. Somehow it was thought that if she put up with it, still devoted to Oliver to the best she could be, it would say something. And if she grew angry, upset at the way she was being treated now, it would also say something.

He was only waiting to see which would happen first.

Afton sauntered out of the kitchen after a moment like a small dog that had been scolded. She felt dejected still, like Oliver didn’t want to be around her. It wasn’t that hard to see at the moment, but for now she was going to let her selfish want of having him close take over. Afton just wanted to be near him. She didn’t think it was that wrong.

Oliver felt the couch sink on one end, not even looking over to know it was Afton, of course. He just looked around the living room, everywhere but to his left, where Afton was waiting for him to say something, to do something. Anything. Anything at all.

She scooted closer, not quite touching him, but just close enough so that he could reach out and sling an arms around her if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to.

After a few moments of silence, Afton grew the courage to utter a few words and pray that it would get her some insight into Oliver’s mind. “What’s goin’ on, Ol?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, his head turning slowly to face her. There wasn’t anything he could think of to say that wouldn’t completely hurt her feelings. Although this new phase of him trying to man-up went along with breaking rules and showing Afton what she had done to him, which often included hurting his feelings.

“Nothin’,” he said, the word feeling dry. Such a bleak answer that never gave the correct answer that the asker was looking for.

Afton just looked at him strangely, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Yeh sure? Not feelin’ well still?” she asked, scooting closer again towards Oliver, silently hoping he wouldn’t just stand up and leave her again.

“Got a ‘eadache,” he lied.

“Okay….” she said quietly, not sure what to do in this situation. For so long now Afton had been used to Oliver sticking to her side, asking what was wrong when she could brush him off and it wouldn’t deter him. Now, things were different. It still felt an awful lot like role-reversal to Afton, and she certainly wasn’t fond of the feeling.

“I think I’m just gonna go lay down, okay?” he said, turning his head to Afton, who was looking at him with big eyes. He felt sorry for her then, looking this pathetic and lonely. But he couldn’t alter his plan now. It was do or die, this time. She wouldn’t pick up on his silent message if he went back and forth with how he treated her.

Afton just nodded, watching Oliver stand up again, the couch leveling out after his weight was gone. She watched as he retreated from the living room and down the hallway to their bedroom. The door shut quietly, making hardly a sound while she still remained out in the living room. Alone. Rejected. Again.

Something was wrong. Afton knew it. There was no reason for Oliver to be treating her like this with no reason. Everything jut felt so off between the pair. And she couldn’t figure out if it was because of the guilt still weighing on her shoulders after she gave the news, or if it was because how Oliver had been acting all day now.

Half an hour passed slower than a single grain of sand at a time slipping through an hourglass. Afton was on the couch, surfing around on her laptop while Oliver still remained in their bedroom, lying on the bed while he figured out further ways to stick to his plan and not totally destroy Afton. The only thing he could reassure himself about was that this would be good for her. She needed to see this, even if she didn’t understand it. That was his only justification. And he knew that it would get harder and harder to keep this up as the day went on, much less as the week went on.

Afton stood up from the couch, making a small huffing noise as she walked to the kitchen. She was going to try her best to get Oliver to talk, because this was much more than a headache, she could tell.

Armed with another glass of water for him and two Advil tucked inside her palm, she approached their bedroom door. It swung open softly, to reveal Oliver lying on his side, facing away from the doorway. His eyes were closed as he heard Afton enter the room, hoping that he wasn’t going to have to talk to her. He didn’t feel like lying to her and acting like a dick. He could take one or the other, but both would be hard for him.

“I brought yeh some water and Advil,” she said quietly, approaching the bedside where Oliver lay. He didn’t respond at first, listening to Afton’s words floating in the air before he decided what he would do.

Slowly, trying to get his thoughts sorted, Oliver rolled over to face Afton. She looked down at him with sad eyes, wondering what was going on all of a sudden.

“Thanks,” he said coldly, watching her set the glass of water and two pills down on the nightstand. He just looked at them, hoping she would walk away now so that he didn’t have to tell her he wanted to be alone.

Afton didn’t leave though, just looking at Oliver while he avoided her eyes.

“Look Oli,” she started out, sighing. This isn’t exactly what she wanted to do, but she wanted an answer. Never had Oliver acted like this, and all of a sudden everything changes this morning. She even hoped what she decided to tell him would make things better between the pair. Apparently it wouldn’t. “What’s goin’ on?”

He didn’t register the words at first, still staring at the glass of water. And then they hit him, sinking into his brain. “What do yeh mean what’s goin’ on?”

To the best of his ability, Oliver was playing dumb.

“Yeh know exactly what I’m talkin’ about!” Afton said, her voice raising as the words left her mouth exuberantly. Her eyes widened in shock at how much force was put behind the words, and Oliver’s eyes widened just as much in surprise. “What’s, what’s wrong, Oliver? Yeh know yeh can tell me. I want to listen. All of a sudden you’re in a shit mood today, and it’s startin’ to scare me.”

Oliver sat up on the bed now, his legs hanging over the side while he was close to eye level with Afton. Her breath caught in the back of her throat, her hands fidgeting together as she tried to reason whether confronting Oliver about his mood was a good idea or not.

“Look, I just want to be alone, okay?” he said, the words slipping from his mouth, feeling like ice to the both of them. “There’s nothin’ wrong. I just need some time alone.”

That was the best he could come up with, instead of blowing up at her like he wanted to. He wanted to so badly, to yell and scream about how much shit he had put up with for weeks now, without saying a word. And the day he begins to toughen up, Afton can hardly go hours without saying something.

This said something about Afton. And it spoke loud and clear to Oliver.

“So what,” she started to counter, her voice heating up again. “Now that I tell you things are finally gettin’ better, you don’t even care? Oli, what the… Why aren’t yeh happy? Things are finally lookin' up!”

Her voice was deflated by the end of the sentence, exasperation apparent by the way Afton’s hands hung loosely at her sides. Her firsts weren’t even clenched, too much confusion as to what was going on with Oliver to make her that aggravated. Oliver just watched her, blinking his eyes a few times while he silently went through every option in his head of what he could tell her. The only thing he wanted was for her to get off his back, so that he could just go about his business of not being whipped anymore, without having to explain everything.

“I am happy,” he said, his words not sounding the slightest convincing as he listened to them meet the air. His argument wasn’t going to be a strong one, seeing as how he had lost the will to explain every single detail of his emotions to Afton at this point. She could just accept that he needed a little space, but Afton was never that simple. “Stop fuckin’ lying, Oliver. Yeh not actin’ happy. I can say that! Just tell me what’s wrong, please?” She looked at him, her big eyes watering while she brushed a hand through her hair roughly. He didn’t say anything back. Oliver just looked at her, taking note at how small and fragile she still looked. “I tell yeh that they don’t think '’m goin' teh die anymore, and yer off ignoring meh!”

Oliver let himself heat up, her words piercing into him while he no longer wanted to restrain himself from yelling. It was about damn time.

“Well it’s fuckin' fantastic yer not goin' teh die anymore, Afton!” he shouted, standing up now as his face turned red. “Maybe I just need some fuckin' space to deal with meh thoughts, because this is kind of a shock to meh, y’know. Or maybe ’m just fuckin' sick of always havin' yeh around! Maybe I just want some space to myself f’once, because yeh always seem to invade it if I don’t show yeh enough attention.”

It was hard to say the words, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t. Finally, things were said that needed to be. The only hard part was breaking the habit of wanting to apologize to Afton for the things he had just said when he saw the tears rolling down her face. Her hand wiped them away, but that didn’t stop more from rolling out of her glassy eyes.

“What the fuck?!” Afton yelled, no restraint in her voice at this point. “Oliver!”

She just huffed, her arms flinging into the air as she stared at him with hard eyes. They were glassing over again and again after waves of tears would flood out. Oliver just stood there, breathing heavily.

“How can yeh say those things, Oliver?” she asked, her voice quiet now as the hurt started to set in. The shock of the words first protected her from actually hearing everything he said, the feeling that went along with the words not sinking in until silence swept over them.

“'Cause it’s true.”