Long List of Things to Say

The sky above is dark, a blanket of black mixed with hues of deep purple and dark blue. It’s nearly empty, save for the scattered stars that are nearly invisible due to the numerous amounts of neon signs and bright lights that the city brings. Jared looked up as he walked across the parking lot in the direction of the rows of buses, the mere thought of settling into his warm bunk causing his mouth to water. His limbs ached and he could practically feel the dark circles he knew were forming under his eyes. And even though the vibration coming from his back pocket every now and again reminded him of the party going on a short distance away, the only thing on Jared’s mind was the cool, cotton sheets he would soon be underneath.

He smiled to himself as his bus came into view, his pace quickening the slightest bit in the hopes of getting there faster. He almost lunged for the door, ripping it open with an unnecessary amount of force before throwing himself inside. The cool air was a welcome relief from the heat and humidity outside, and Jared let out a sigh of content as he sauntered over to the couch, dropping down onto a cushion and leaning back. If it weren’t for the fact that he was still dressed in a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, Jared would have taken residence on that couch and fallen asleep almost immediately. He could already feel his breaths evening out and his thoughts becoming scattered, but then the feeling of his denim jeans scratching against his skin would bring him out of his lucid state and back into the real world, a world where he was sleep deprived and ready to go to bed at eleven o’clock, something he had never done before while on tour.

Finally lifting himself off of the couch, Jared dragged his body to the sleeping area, reaching down into his bunk and searching around for his bag. When his hands came up short for the third time, Jared got down on his knees, pushing things aside inside his tiny bunk in the hopes of finding his black backpack filled with clothes. Glaring at his hands as they seemed to grab nothing but air, Jared got back to his feet. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to bring them back to life if he ever planned on finding his bag. With his hands still rubbing at his eyes, Jared walked the familiar steps toward the back lounge. He felt around for the lights, flicking them on. The brightness blinded him temporarily, but as the black dots in his vision finally formed into real shapes, Jared noticed a rather odd sight in the form of Garrett stretched out across the couch. He had a blanket wrapped tightly around his body, light snores falling from his open mouth. His hair was a mess on top of his head, the poorly dyed, red mop sticking out in all different directions on top of his pillow.

Jared walked closer, trying to make his footsteps quieter as not to wake the younger boy. He sat down on the minimal amount of empty space, reaching his hand out to brush against Garrett’s forehead, tucking stray strands of his hair away from his face. A smile came to Jared’s lips as he sat there, staring down at Garrett’s motionless form. If anyone were to walk in at that moment, they would have asked Jared what he was doing, why he was staring down at Garrett with such an affectionate look on his face, but he wouldn’t have told them, because in all honesty, not even he knew. He and Garrett have always been close, always told each other everything, and sometimes the guys even thought they were too close. But neither Garrett nor Jared minded their accusations-- they were happy the way they were, and that was all that mattered.

Jared sighed, standing up from his sitting position and walking toward the door, but just as he got there, a small voice called out his name. Jared turned around, his eyes taking in the sight of Garrett, who was sitting up, the dark blue blanket pooling around his waist as he frantically rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to wipe away the sleep. A yawn escaped his mouth as he finally pulled his hands away, his blue eyes boring into Jared’s face and a small smile coming to his chapped lips.

“Where are you going?” he asked. His voice was rough and scratchy from the lack of use, but Jared could make out the muttered phrase in the eerie silence that filled the bus. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, stuffing his hands in his pockets and stepping further into the room once more.

“Just getting ready for bed,” he told him. Garrett nodded, stretching his arms above his head. He threw his legs over the side of the couch, taking the blanket from his lap and tossing it aside before standing. He walked over to Jared coming to stand in front of him as he looked him up and down.

“Why aren’t you at the party?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in curiosity as he stared up at the older boy. Jared shrugged, leaning against the doorframe before saying,

“Just didn’t feel like it.” Garrett nodded, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Jared’s waist, locking his hands at the small of his back and resting his head atop Jared’s chest. He breathed in the familiar scent of Jared, smiling to himself.

“Do you want to know why I didn’t go to the party?” he questioned. Jared took his hands from his pockets, bringing one to rest gently on Garrett’s hip while the other ran lazily through Garrett’s hair.

“Why?” he asked, just to amuse the younger boy. Honestly, Jared didn’t want to know anything, he just wanted to fall asleep. He could feel his eyelids drooping even as he stood against the doorframe. A sigh escaped his lips as he awaited Garrett’s answer.

“I wanted to spend time with you,” Garrett told him, pulling away just far enough to look up at the guitarist, a crooked smile on his lips and an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. Jared returned the smile, a warm feeling surfacing in the pit of his stomach. He pulled away from Garrett completely, slipping his hand into the younger’s and almost dragging him down the hall.

Minutes later, after Garrett had successfully located Jared’s backpack, the two were located on the couch in the back lounge, occupying the space that Garrett previously had to himself. Jared was laying on his side on the couch, his back pressed to the back of the couch, Garrett in his arms and a blanket wrapped around the both of them. They weren’t really sure what they were watching, both too preoccupied with their close proximity to notice much else.

Jared’s eyes flickered from the screen to the side of Garrett’s face, watching as his blue eyes lit up at certain parts, a crooked smile adorning his lips as he stared at the TV. Jared pulled the younger boy closer, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. He breathed in the scent of Garrett, an odd mix of dirt, sweat, and Axe body spray. It was familiar and comforting and Jared could feel himself dozing off.

“Jar?” The ginger’s eyes immediately snapped open at the sound of his voice, trying to blink away the oncoming sleep. Garrett had turned his head just far enough to look behind him, his eyes searching Jared’s face for a sign that he was listening and not going to fall asleep.

“Yeah?” Jared muttered, not fully aware of the words falling from his mouth, but saying them nonetheless. He just wanted to let sleep envelope him, to let the darkness fall over him like a blanket, not retracting itself till morning or at least after a sufficient couple hours of sleep.

“I like spending time with you.” It was the simplest of phrases, but it brought the widest of smiles to Jared’s face. He took one of the younger’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers. He squeezed his hand, letting out a content sigh as he laid there with Garrett in his arms. He didn’t know what to say, nothing new in Garrett’s presence. Garrett always left him breathless, left him wondering what he did to deserve a friend like him. Everything about Garrett screamed perfection, even the small things, like his signature crooked smile and his brilliantly blue eyes.

Jared had a long list of things to say about Garrett. He had actually written it out once, the words filling numerous amounts of paper, because once he began to write, he just couldn’t stop. He wrote about every little thing that popped into his head that had to do with Garrett, from the way he smelt to the jokes he made that day, or two days ago, or a month ago. The amount of things that Jared found special about Garrett was endless, he could find a new thing every day, remember an old thing he had forgotten about every second. It was ridiculous, the amount of good things Jared could name about Garrett, the amount of bad things he could deny, and the amount of silly moments he had memorized. He could say anything about the young bassist, but in the end, it all came down to simple adjectives, smart, funny, beautiful, amazing. And that’s where he would always end it, with those few adjectives, those seven or eight syllables, because even the greatest of things can be summed up in the simplest of words.

“You can go to sleep now.” The words tore Jared from his thoughts and he looked down to see Garrett still staring up at him, their eyes connecting for the briefest of seconds. That crooked smile was still placed perfectly on his lips, his eyes glinting in the minimal amount of moonlight that shone in from the window above. Jared leaned down; catching the younger’s lips in the softest of kisses before pulling away. He closed his eyes, leaning back, trying to get comfortable as a wide smile spread across his face. He was sure, as Garrett leaned his head back against his chest, that there would be numerous questions to answer in the morning when the rest of the guys found them like this, but in the peaceful moments between being asleep and awake, Jared didn’t care. He didn’t care that he had just kissed his best friend, he didn’t know why he had just kissed his best friend, but he knew that Garrett hadn’t objected to it, and he was aware of the butterflies that began fluttering in his stomach, and that was all that registered to him.

The only thing he could think about was how he was going to add this to the list of things, and how maybe, he would just end the list right there. Because in his opinion, there was nothing more incredible than that moment, nothing that could top that memory, nothing that could be any more perfect than his lips on Garrett’s for those five or six seconds.

Because there was nothing that could be more amazing, and he would leave it at that.