Don't Need These Other Pretty Faces, Like I Need You

I didn't know how long it had been, but I was still in tears ruining Justin's sweater. I felt embarresed as I wiped my eyes and forced myself to look down into his sweater and not directly at him. I knew that the tears would start up again in a while, but I would be home by then.

It felt like I had been crying for well over an hour. I couldn't help it, I was hurt and I knew that it wasn't my fault. I also knew that he wasn't any good for me, but I couldn't help but think how different things would be at school, or when I wanted to talk to someone and he wouldn't be avaliable. It wasn't like he was available to talk to whenever I wanted anyways, because of his never answering his phone, but he was a good talker when I needed cheering up.

"I'm sorry," I said still looking down.

"Don't be," He said rubbing my back.

I pulled away and then sat down on the chair just as Usher walked in. Time always passed by way too quickly. I looked at the time to see if it was really 7. Tomorrow was saturday and I was supposed to come in again and then just for the morning on Sunday. Justin's album was about to be finished. There were only a few songs that I missed and usher said he still needed to write one more song that wasn't going on this album, but was going on his next. It was also going to be aired on the radio.

"What happened to you?" Usher said leaning against the door with concern in his eyes. I felt like people were just going to keep coming into the room, and look at me like I was week. I didn't like being looked at as being week.

"Nothing, I'm just going to go," I said getting up. I knew that I wouldn't be going home just yet. Especially with my mom being such a pessimis about everything in my life. I could just imagine the "I told you so," that would come out of her mouth. Either that or "How could you break up with him?" I was in no way ready to face that.

Justin gave me a worried look and I just smiled reassuringly to let him know that I would be alright. Usher didn't say anything, he just nodded sensing my wanting to be alone. The first thing I did was run into the bathroom.

I didn't wear makeup really, just a tiny bit of mascarra, but it was just to darken my eyelashes. I was born with light blonde hair and unfortunately with it came light eyebrows and bleached eyelashes you can hardly see.

The mascarra had been running down my face along with my tears and I knew that if he hadn't figured it out, Justin would figure it out soon that his sweater was ruined. I felt bad, maybe he could wash it out.

I looked at myself in the stretched mirror and I felt like sticking my fist through it. I forced myself to wash away the mascarra without punching anything at all. I was so mad and I kept seeing Jonny's and my mom's faces both telling me that I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I'm not worth it.

I felt the tears build up again and I forced myself to stay cool. I didn't want to be the girl who spent her time depressed and crying in the bathroom because she couldn't make it home first. I wished things didn't hurt so much, that I had no emotion. Being human stinks sometimes!