I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby

Was it wrong that I was actually surprised Sixx had come to save me? I thought he hated me, I thought he wanted nothing to do with me. I guess I was wrong. Then I remembered the kiss; I knew I probably shouldn’t think about it because I knew my friend meant nothing from it. Sixx was just simply trying to hush me. It worked though. Listening to the two of them talk I took slow sips of water my eyes glancing around the room every now and then.

I felt weak…and ill. I didn’t know what they were doing to me at Arrow’s…after a week of it I just shut it out. It wasn’t all bad with Arrow though…he was nice when he wanted to be, but the few weeks that Sam was gone he got worse and worse. It started off with the occasional slap, then a few beatings, then came the sex. I won’t say if I agreed to it or wanted nothing to do with it; hell I don’t think I would utter a word about my experiences not that anyone would ask. Everyone at school though Arrow and I were the cutest couple; too bad they weren’t correct.

Hearing that I had to go back to school I couldn’t help but frown and shake my head; the fear that had left now reentering. “W-What if Arrow is there?” I asked softly my voice cracking a bit. I was pretty sure those were the only words that I had spoken ever since I got here; I blushed and looked down. I didn’t want them to think I was some baby.

The two boys dropped their conversation and turned to me the boy who’s name had slipped my mind looked as if he forgot I was even sitting there. “Nyk…don’t worry about it.” Sixx attempted to soothe his hand reaching out to touch me but I turned the other way. I didn’t mean to come off as rude or anything…I just didn’t want to be touched. How could he tell me not to worry about it? Sixx wouldn’t be there with me. How would he know if Arrow actually left, because knowing that boy he knew he probably wouldn’t have left. Arrow wasn’t like that when he wanted something he would fight for it. Then again maybe Arrow didn’t want me; maybe I was just a little toy for him to have some fun with. I’m sure he had already moved on, the thought made me frown.

It was sick the feelings I still had for him. He had hurt me, beat me….scarred me, but somehow I still loved him. I didn’t understand. Maybe because for awhile he was the only thing I had, or maybe because he was the only person to tell me he loved me other than my parents. Or maybe it was the way he made me feel when he wasn’t beating me; when we were just normal.

I felt tears prickle at my eyes and quickly looked down at the floor and clumsily stood from the chair it falling backwards behind me. The clank of the metal hitting the tiled floor made me jump. “S-Sorry…” I squeaked softly as I bent down and picked it up pushing it under the table. Great; now Sixx’s friend was going to think of me as a baby. Maybe they would understand though….”I…c-can I take a shower?” I asked quietly not looking up from the ground. I was quite frankly ashamed of myself. I was still in love with Arrow, or what I thought was love, and….and I had wished for Sixx to kiss me again. I shouldn’t think like that. I felt filthy. I never had these thoughts. Kissing, touching, anything of that natural just didn’t come to my mind. I was supposed to be the innocent one! “Please…” I added remembering that whenever he was around Arrow if he hadn’t said ‘please’ all hell would break loose.

The boy that Sixx knew, Rain, nodded his head and his friend walked towards me with a gentle smile. “Right this way, Nykkie.” The boy about my height said in a gentle tone. I tensed at the nickname but said nothing as I followed behind him closely every now and then glancing back at Sixx wanting nothing more than to be cuddled in his arms. I felt safe there; here alone I felt exposed…I felt watched.

“I’ll bring you some clothes in a moment…” The boy smiled before leaving me on my own. I closed the door behind me and slipped out of my baggy clothing turning on the shower. For a moment I stood there just staring at my reflection with a small face. I was pale…boney and bruised; I didn’t look the same. I stepped into the shower letting the water hit my shoulders causing me to relax slightly. My eyes closed as I rinsed off my body and washed my hair just loving the warm water. Any shower at Arrow’s was cold and short. After a few minutes I slipped out of the shower wrapping a towel around my waist.

I glanced around for the clothes and frowned a bit. He had only brought me boxers. I slipped my small frame into them actually having to hold them so they wouldn’t fall. I adventured back into the hall only stopping when I saw Sixx and the other guy, Rain. “I…I need a shirt…h-he didn’t bring me one.”

I crossed my arms slightly before dropping them remembering I had to hold the shorts up. Usually I’d be comfortable shirtless but I knew my chest looked…disgusting; bones poking out and scars all over the sensitive skin. I watched the two waiting for a moment hoping I hadn’t interrupted some important conversation.