I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby

I frowned softly when I was awoken from my slumber, not that I minded much, I could hear Sixx’s shouting and I really couldn’t help but frown. He was fighting with Nate…poor gentle Nate. Was I causing this? Was I causing these two to fight? I didn’t want to come between a friendship…I wasn’t worth it. Hearing the door slam I flinched and slowly stood to my feet my eyes watering. It was time for me to go. I slipped on a pair of shoes I found under the bed and quietly made me leave. Luckily for me no one noticed. It was better to go quietly. How was I supposed to explain? My feet dragged me down the pavement as I glanced around the cold night. It was so dark and the streets were so vacant, it was like a scene out of a horror movie.

Where am I supposed to go?

That thought plagued my mind and murdered any hope I had. I couldn’t go back to that apartment Arrow might have been there. Isn’t that what I wanted though? I wanted to be in his arms, right? I had told Sixx I needed him…What if he wasn’t there though? What he had a new tory already? I wiped at my tears with a gentle whimper as I pulled myself to the trashy apartment complex I had called my home for the past few months. It was clear now. I should not have called Sixx. I should have dealt with my own problems.

413…413. Where was it? My face brightened when I saw the fading numbers etched into the worn down wood. Home… I raised my tiny fist and knocked my delicate frame trembling in anticipation. Arrow wasn’t here, I just knew it. He was already out of town. When I turned on my heel I heard the door open and my eyes met familiar blue ones. It took all I could not to throw myself at him; to beg for his forgiveness.

“Nyk…”

Arrow spoke slowly. His voice was hard and cold; drained from any emotion. I nodded my head slowly staring up at him. What was he thinking? What was he going to do? Would he hurt me? Would he hug me? My lips parted in a gasp when I felt his palm against my cheek my head snapping to the side as the tears fell harder. I knew I was expecting too much from him. His fingers gripped my hair as he tugged me forward the door slamming behind him.

“You thought you could leave me!”

Arrow roared as he pushed me down against the couch his larger body straddling my own. I shook my head as the tears kept coming; one day I would drown in them. I tried to open my mouth; I tried to tell him that I had come back. We could be together…but his mind was occupied by blooding up my face. I had learned though that this was his way of showing how much he cared for me. The pain meant he loved me.

“I knew you would come running back. They always do. I knew you couldn’t stay away from me for too long. “ Arrow continued to spit his fist seizing there rapid motions as he just glared down at me but soon those vicious features softened and he was caressing my sore cheek. “I love you, Nykkie baby.” He whispered placing a gentle kiss to my forehead. I smiled against his touch and nodded my head eagerly; so happy to hear those three words. He loved me and that’s all that mattered to me.

“I love you too.” I whispered back my fingers gently knotting in his hair as I pressed my chapped lips against his smooth ones, trying hard to forget Sixx’s face I should be thinking of him right now. “Don’t ever leave again.” The older male whispered as he rolled off of me pulling my small body down on top of his. Did he really even have to ask twice? Smiling tenderly I pressed a kiss to his lips before standing up only to be pulled down sharply. “I said don’t fucking leave.” Arrow snapped his fingers clenching around my delicate wrist.

“I’m sorry, so sorry…” I whispered quickly the tears beginning to spill. How could he be so gentle to this? Arrow nodded his head his grip loosening as he toyed with my hair. I didn’t say anything in fear it would be the wrong thing to say. Is this really how I wanted to live? Did I really want to live in fear of doing or saying the wrong thing to throw my own boyfriend over the edge? “I want you to make it official.” Arrow spoke calmly his voice cutting me like ice. Weren’t we already official?

“I want you to call Sixx and I want you to tell him you’re leaving the state with him. Tell him you don’t need him. Tell him you never needed him. I want you to tell him that you were never his friend.” I gasped softly. I couldn’t…I wouldn’t ever dare say that to my Sixx…He was everything I had, but now I had Arrow…Wasn’t he all I needed?

“Arrow…I really can’t.” I breathed softly my eyes watering. As soon as the words left my mouth I knew it was the wrong thing to say. His fingers were gripping at my hair and pulling me up. “That was a fucking order you little slut.” Arrow spat slamming my body against the wall. Slowly I nodded my head. I should have known better than to get him so angry. “R-Right away…” I whispered pulling my phone out. My fingers trembled as I began to type in his number; which I had known by heart ever since we were kids. How was I supposed to do this? I really couldn’t…This was so wrong. I could not just push Sixx out of my life – I loved him so much. Arrow said all I needed was him. Was he right? Of course…He had to be. Pressing the phone to my ear I waited the dial tone the song to my death; my fight song. Don’t answer…Don’t answer, but of course my wishes were never granted.

“What?” I was startled by his gruff voice my eyes widening. I couldn’t do this, I really couldn’t do this but Arrow’s fingers gripping my wrist reminded me of the mission. How was I supposed to say this? “I…I can’t see you anymore.” I chocked out my eyes closing tightly. I could practically see my whole childhood running through my mind. It had always been Sixx; he had always been there for me. Arrow was just…a distraction. It had always been Sixx. There was no turning back now though; Arrow was here and Sixx was there. I blocked out my childhood friend’s voice as I leaned against the wall ignoring both his questioning and the deathly stares of my boyfriend.

“I’m leaving with Arrow tonight.”