I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love

Darian was an odd one. In our group of friends, he was the quiet one. We joked and said he was gay and should come out of the closet. It was mean and uncalled for, it was all in good fun though right? I felt bad for him though, and would apologize later. After awhile, I stopped joining in on making fun of him, and spent the rest of it defending him.

Soon it was just him and me hanging out together. I fought off a group of bullies, who had beat up Darian. He wasn't hurt too bad, a few cuts and bruises.

"We are so full of mistakes and fuck ups," he said, tears in his eyes.

I was digging through my backpack, and found a discarded napkin from lunch earlier that day.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged, "No human is ever considered perfect in this world now. But we could be perfect one last night."

I stopped blotting up the blood and turned to face him, "What in the hell are you talking about dude?"

"You remember when we used to fight all the time, us and the guys? You'd think we were gonna kill one another the way things went! I was the victim, and you were the one to always save me from them. We could die like star crossed lovers when we fight, you and me, y'know?"

I didn't understand anymore than I had before, I could only shake my head and turn back to cleaning his wounds.

He continued, "And we could settle this affair, if you would shed your old ways. Like admitting to something, or..I dunno..nevermind."

I stopped what I was doing again, "Look, is this about everyone saying your a fag and shit? Cause it's not true, and they're just stupid assholes right?"

Darian nodded, his dark brown eyes downcast and sad.
I got looked up at him and reached out a reassuring hand.

"Here, stand up fucking tall and don't let them see your back. They'll only stab it, you get what I'm saying?"

Darian nodded, but something was still wrong with him. He seemed distant.

"Mitch, they hate me! I mean, they really really hate me! I'm scared of those guys!"

I offered my hand to him, "Here, take my fucking hand and never be afraid again. We've only got one chance to put things to an end. I promise nothing bad will happen to you Darian, okay?"

He took my hand gently, holding it tight. I didn't mind, he needed someone to look up to, to protect him from the cold world.

"You remember, when you once said we weren't celebrities? How we all spark and fade, how we all die by threes, heart, body, and soul?" he said suddenly.

I nodded, "Yeah, what of it? It was just something I thought up one day is all."

He moved in closer to me, our eyes met, his dark brown with my light azure blue.
For some reason, my breathing was heavy, he was beautiful to me so suddenly.
He moved in closer.

He reached out a fragil hand, and without warning, kissed me on the lips. I pulled back instinctively.

"Thank you." he said softly, retreating.

"What the hell was that for?!" I exclaimed, wiping the kiss away with the back of my hand.

Darian turned away, blushing from embarassment and shame.

"Hey, don't worry about it okay? It doesn't mean a thing right?"

Darian still refused to look at me, "What if I wanted it to mean something?"

I laughed, "C'mon Darian, the guys might think you're a fag, but you're not! You just need some time to figure out which girl you need to ask out, that's all."

Darian kept his eyes down when spoke again, "I love you Mitch.."

I felt the hair on my neck stand up on end.

"Ever since you started standing up for me, fighting my fights for me, I've felt this burning inside of me, that I can't hide anymore. I'm in love with you." he said softly, a solitary tear trailing down his cheek.

I didn't know what to say or do! As far as I was concerned, I was straight, nothing like him, and I would never be like him.

"Do you hate me now?!" he cried out.

I spat in irritation, "Fuck dude, I don't know what to say, think, or do right now! I mean, I just don't think of you in that sort of way...I mean...I dunno man...I like you alot! You're a great guy..I just...shit..I dunno man!"

Darian's black hair fell into his face so I couldn't see his eyes. I wondered exactly what it was that he was thinking and feeling at this very moment.

"What do you think of me, honestly?" he finally asked.

I cleared my throat, "Well, I think you're a great guy, smart, kinda quiet, and you need to stick up for yourself more often...yeah..."

He moved in closer to me, touching my shoulder with his hand. I flinched, but let him touch me.

"Do you think I'm an attractive guy?"

I rolled my eyes, gave it some thought, and responded.

"Yeah, I think you're an attractive guy. You get great eyes, hair, body...ugh..nevemind! Where are you going with this?!"

Darian moved away again, gathering his things and standing, "Forget it, nevermind. I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to think you cared and felt about me the same way I do you. Good-bye Mitch."

And with that he was gone.

After that, I never saw or heard from him again. He dropped out of school and left our state to live with his father after his parents divorce. It wouldn't be till years later that I'd hear of him again.

I was in the living room, watching the evening news with my boyfriend Derek. I had come out in college, embracing what I think i have always been, but too afraid to admit. Darian awakened some feelings in me that I never knew I had in me. I had tried to contact him over and over, but he never responded.

The late breaking news came on, a hate crime committed.

"Aw man, not another one!" Derek said sadly.

"Ignorant assholes! I swear, this world is going to shit! Turn it up?"

Derek grabbed the remote and upped the volume, I leaned forward in my seat, engrossed in the news item.

"This morning a body was found in a dumpster. Forensics show that the body has been there for at least a couple days. The victim has been identified asDarius Waldon, age 26, an aspiring photographer and artist, his orignal home town was Dublin, Maryland. Authorities believe this to be a brutal hate crime, for his genitals were badly mutilated, as well as having derogatory names for homosexuals carved into his skin. The ultimate cause of death of internal bleeding and brain swelling from the crushed-"

I immediately stood up, my hands running frantically through my hair. My God, it was Darian! A picture of Darian when he was alive came up on the screen, no doubt the victim had been him!

I went into the bathroom and vomitted again and again. I curled up in the corner and cried.
Derek tried to comfort me, but I wouldn't have it.

We could die like star crossed lovers....