My Heart Beats on, but I Don't Care

BILL

I forgot this kind of pain. The kind that blinds you from everything in the world, except the means that caused it. The past months I focused so much on locking it away and fixating on other things. Pointless things. Stupid things.

But now it seeped through my veins and burned me from the inside out. It was in every movement I made. Everything I thought, conscious or not.

It was what drove me away. From the fame. From my friends. From my family. From Tom.

Tom.

The pain doubled, causing me to roll onto my side. The bed I crashed on was too soft. A sharp contrast from the intense agony radiating off of me.

If I had just been more responsible, I wouldn't have needed to separate us. I could only imagine how he was feeling about this.

Today's our birthday...

I gasped for air as the pain knocked the breath out of my lungs. I wish the tears hadn't dried up. I wish I had a way to release this pain.

Writing wouldn't work. I gave up music ever since the crash...

No, that will make it worse. Don't think about it.

I needed to do something though.

Call him, you haven't spoken to him in over a year.

It took me five minutes to get up from the bed and stumble to the phone. I dialed the number as if I was drunk.

"Hello?" I whispered into the reciever.