We're All Pretty Odd

Brendon

“Oh, don’t mind me,” I smirked, “please go on.” Spencer elbowed me in the side and whispered a subtly “Shut the fuck up”. Spencer got off of the couch and introduced himself to the one person I thought I would never see again. I am thoroughly looking forward to the next few months.

Juliana

God hates me. I bloody knew it. Obviously engaging in premarital sex puts you on the “must make miserable” list. This is fucking fantastic. Not only do I have to work for my sadistic best friend, I also have to act like nothing has ever occurred between Brendon Urie and I. I guarantee that there will be bloodshed.

There are moments in life that make you stop and say, “God, that was really stupid,” or “I’m fucking delusional aren’t I?” These precious moments in life usually end up on the “List of things I wish I could go back and change”. Hooking up with Brendon Urie holds a solid position at #1. The entire experience has taught me two things. The first being, younger men should be avoided like the plague. No sophisticated woman in her right mind should flirt with the idea of dating a younger man. They are pretty much babies without diapers. The first lesson is also very apparent in the second. Taking the virginity of a man, or boy in this case, is nothing but trouble. Please note the emphasis on nothing. They will attach to you like a little leech and bare each and every one of their tiny razor sharp teeth into your skin. I take that back, these special breeds of younger men are more like ducklings. That’s an entirely more accurate description of what happened after I deflowered Brendon. The funny thing is I don’t remember it to be that mind-blowing. Than again I wasn't the one being deflowered. Anyways, that boy made me change my home and cell number, my email, and I had to move back into my parent’s house. In conclusion, Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the third had blown my cover that I had spent three years cowering under. Fantastic.

Pete

“Well now that we all know each other I will be leaving.” Jules grabbed my wrist as I turned for the door. “Come on,” I growled as I tried to pry myself free, “my child is down the hall with Gabe… I need to go!”

Juliana

“You mean to tell me Gabriel is here?” I questioned as I lunged towards Pete. Pete was keeping me an arms length away as I aimlessly tried to grab him. Out of all the bands on his label he had to pick Panic at the Disco or whatever the hell their name is! Pete is going to die a slow and painfully death… at my hand. Just as I was about to resort to kicking I felt a pair of arms pick me up from behind. “What the hell?” I squealed as I was placed on the couch next to Spencer. I growled as the owner of the arms, Brendon, took a seat next to me. “You,” Pete paused and glared at me, “need to chill the fuck out.” I rolled my eyes at Pete’s “Mr. tough boss ” act. “You are not working with Gabe because of what happened the last time you both were together.” Pete calmly explained. I quickly glanced toward Brendon and watched as his eyes widened quite dramatically. Great… he still hasn’t outgrown the baby duckling phase.

Pete

“The last thing I need is two foreigners attempting to overthrow my company,” I bitterly joked, “You know what? This day has been crazy for Julie and it was really unfair of me to just force this project on her.” She shot me a “no shit” look before running her hand through her hair. “We’ll just start fresh tomorrow… alright?” I questioned as I exited the room without receiving an answer. It’s good to be the boss.

Juliana

Thank God there’s a flicker of light in Pete’s black hole of a heart. As soon as he left I left (more like sprinted) out of the room to avoid the awkward and long overdue conversation with Brendon that I had literally been avoiding for the last three years. As I ran out of the building I ran into something… or someone. Please don’t let it be Brendon.