Look Closer

No physical contact had been made since Chelley had kissed Jack. They had walked next to each other and sat next to each other. He'd opened her car door for her and held doors for her. But he never offered her a hand while she got out of the car or his arm while they were talking. He was doing everything he could to keep the promise he'd made to her.

But neither of them could stop thinking about the kiss. The brief, innocent kiss they'd shared merely two hours before. Their thoughts were completely consumed by the way it had felt. And it was obvious to anyone who was near them that their heads were anywhere but where their bodies were.

It scared Chelley, a little, both that she had done it and that it gave her goosebumps. And she wanted to run. She wasn't prepared for it. Her feelings for Jack were growing with each moment she spent with him and she felt like she was slowly losing her mind. Her plans didn't involve falling in love so young. And she was fighting the process with all she had in her. But she was beginning to see that it was a losing battle.

"Do you want to dance?" Jack asked seemingly out of nowhere. But that was only because she had been so wrapped up in her thoughts.

She shook her head. "I'm not really a very good dancer," she said. "Two left feet, you know?"

Jack laughed quietly. "Come on. It's not that hard. Just follow my lead," he said, shooting a pleading look in her direction.

Chelley bit down on the inside of her lip to keep herself from giving in. But that wouldn't stop her completely. "Maybe later," she said.

Without argument, Jack dropped the subject. The two sat in silence for the next couple of songs. Tension started to build between them. And neither of them wanted it. They both wanted to feel as comfortable around the other as they had before the drunken marriage happened. And both feared that it would never happen. That the friendship they had begun would never be the same.

It wasn't long before Jack scooted his chair closer to Chelley's and leaned toward her. "Can I ask you something?" he said.

Chelley raised an eyebrow, unsure of what was coming. "I, yeah, sure," she replied.

"It's just, something you said earlier, it's been nagging at my brain," he explained. She waited expectantly for him to continue. "You said something about all of us being too close with our families. And it made me realize that you've never talked about yours," he said somewhat cautiously. He knew it possible that he was bringing up a touchy subject but also knew Chelley well enough to know that she wouldn't make a huge scene. At least not without a truckload of alcohol in her system.

A quiet sigh escaped her. And before she spoke, she drew in a deep breath. "The last time I spoke to anyone in my family was four years ago," she said. "There's not a whole lot to say."

A confused look came over Jack's face. "But you're only twenty," he said.

Chelley nodded. "I'm aware," she said.

"So, you're saying you left home when you were sixteen?" he asked.

Another sigh passed her lips. This was a subject she usually preferred not to discuss. "More like my mom kicked me out," she said. "And I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

Jack's expression remained one of confusion. And though he'd heard what she said, he continued. "I really can't imagine you doing anything worthy of being kicked out of your house," he said.

In spite of herself, Chelley laughed. It was a dry one, but a laugh nonetheless. "I didn't," she said. "And I really, really don't want to talk about my family."

"Sure," Jack said with a nod. Her tone had taken on a slight edge and he felt it was in his best interest to drop the subject. "How about that dance now?" he asked, not really taking notice that music had slowed.

Thankful that the subject of her family was dropped, she agreed. "Alright," she said and stood.

Jack's eyes brightened as his lips curved upward into a smile. He stood as well and took Chelley's hand and was somewhat surprised when she didn't protest to it. When they reached the dance floor, he pulled her to his chest, keeping hold of her hand as he slid his other arm around her waist.

As they swayed along to the music, the little bit of space that had been between them closed. Neither realized it however. Chelley's mind was on her family and how much it hurt to talk about them. It had been years but she was still angry with them for everything. And it nearly crippled her insides to think that no matter what she had done, it never would have been good enough.

Moisture found its way to her eyes but she did everything she could to keep from letting it break free. She tried to refocus her thoughts on anything else. But everything seemed to upset her. She had walked out on her job. She had been cheated on. She had managed to become friends with the person she had been cheated on with. She had gotten drunk and gotten married. She had gotten drunk and caused a huge scene. She was constantly hurting the person who cared most for her.

Everything hurt.

"My parents split up when I was seven," she said out of nowhere.

Jack looked down at her and gave her back a little rub. "Chelle, you don't have to," he said.

"It's alright," she said and then continued. "They reconciled when I was twelve. Or so we all thought. Me, my brother and my sister, that is. But they were divorced before I turned thirteen. My little brother was a really good kid up until about that time," she explained. "But then two years later he was arrested for drug and weapon possession and assault. He's been in jail ever since but he's supposed to get out when he turns eighteen, which is next month," she said. "I tried to be there for him. But he was so angry with our dad for just taking off after the divorce."

"You mom didn't try to get him any kind of help?" Jack asked.

Chelley shook her head. "No, she was too wrapped up in her scumbag boyfriend to see what he was getting into. I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen. She always just said that he was being a boy and it was fine. And he wouldn't listen to me either. But I guess I can't blame him. What did I know?" she said.

"That wasn't your job, Chelle. I mean, to a point, as an older sibling, yeah, you have to watch out for your little brother. But you can only do so much," he said and Chelley nodded against his chest. "What about your sister?" he asked after a few moments of silence. "Is she older or younger?"

"Older, three years" she replied. "She killed herself when I was fourteen."

"I'm sorry," Jack said quietly.

Chelley squeezed her eyes shut and sighed quietly. "Shortly after my sixteenth birthday," she said, changing the subject, "My mom said I was too much to handle and that I needed to leave. Because, you know, between getting straight A's and having a job I obviously had so much time to be a nuisance. But I didn't argue because I hated her boyfriend anyway. I just packed my things and stayed with a friend until I turned eighteen when I moved away to go to college. I haven't looked back since," she said.

The song had ended and the two were just standing on the dance floor. No one seemed to notice them or if they did, they didn't seem to mind. Jack dropped Chelley's hand and wrapped his now free arm around her. Both her arms encircled his waist and her head fell against his chest.

"I'm sorry," Jack said, "For everything. I wouldn't have pressed you if I'd had any idea."