Look Closer

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Chelley said when she answered her ringing phone. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

A laugh came from the other end of the phone call. "What are you sorry for, Chelle?" he asked.

It had been a couple of days since Angie had decided to run her mouth and the first chance Chelley had gotten to talk to Jack. Not for a lack of trying, however. She had called and left messages and he had returned her calls only to get her voicemail.

"The whole thing with Alex. Him yelling at you and being mad and all that. I don't know what Angie's deal was the other day. She just went off for no apparent reason," she said. "I'm really, really sorry."

Jack laughed again. "It's alright. I'm not worried about it. Alex will get over it," he said. "And Angie was probably just PMSing. I mean, I don't know. All of the sudden she doesn't like me and I'm not sure what I ever did to her. I know she thinks I'm childish, but so do you and you still don't treat me like that. But it's fine."

A sigh escaped Chelley. She wasn't convinced. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, "So, what else is going on? You know, now that we finally have each other on the phone."

Chelley laughed. "Well, I got my job back," she said.

He nodded, even though she couldn't see, and played with gear shifter in the car. "That's great, Chelle. I'm glad," he said.

The way he said it was anything but convincing. He had been secretly, or maybe not so secretly, hoping that she wouldn't be able to get her job back. It was selfish, but he wanted her to be able to have some time to weigh all her options in hopes that she would decide she wanted to be with him.

"I hear what you're saying, but you sound disappointed," she said, calling him out.

"Oh, sorry about that," he said. But he wasn't sorry. "I really do want you to do whatever is best for you."

Chelley laughed. "You're not sorry. Don't lie," she said. "But it's okay that you're not sorry. I get why you would be disappointed. But, you know where we stand."

"I do," Jack agreed. "And I'm alright with that. So alright, in fact, that I don't want to talk about it anymore. So let's talk about something else. How's the weather? he asked as he pushed open the car door and got out.

Chelley's stomach dropped as he spoke and she didn't really know why. Maybe it was the same reason she hated seeing his wedding band next to hers on her night table instead of knowing it was on his finger. But she shouldn't care. She was the one who had set the boundaries that were currently in place.

She didn't let him hear her own disappointment and forced a laugh. "The weather, Jack? Really?" she asked and he laughed quietly. "I actually don't know. I haven't been outside yet. But I imagine, considering it's late summer in Los Angeles, it's probably pretty warm, maybe even hot," she said.

"What do you mean you haven't been outside yet?" he asked.

She chuckled. "It may be afternoon in Maryland, but it's still morning in California," she said. "And besides, I'm getting ready for work. My shift starts in," she paused and looked at her watch, "Forty minutes."

Jack face fell and he leaned against the car. "Oh. Should I let you go then? I don't want to make you late," he said.

"No, no, no," she said quickly. "I have plenty of time. And I want to talk to you. I mean, I never really got the chance to tell you that I really had fun in Baltimore. It was nice to be able to just hang out again. It was like when we first started hanging out, you know?" she said. "Well, other than all the serious 'us' conversation we had." She sighed. "Am I even making sense?"

As if on queue, Jack's heart began to throb with a dull ache. He wanted to be happy that she liked spending time time with him but the fact remained that he wasn't able to change her mind. No matter what he said or how he felt, she was simply not willing to let him in any further than he already was.

"Yeah, I get you," he said. "I'm glad you had fun. And I don't think I ever said it but I'm sorry about my mom. She's just being protective of her baby, you know?"

Their conversation continued and each tried to push away feelings they didn't want at that moment in time but for different reasons. Jack, because he wanted to be able to show Chelley that he loved her. And Chelley because she didn't want to admit to herself that she did have feelings for Jack, feelings that were growing stronger each day they were apart. And also that she didn't want to want him there with her.

When Jack pulled his phone away to check the time, a sigh escaped him. "Hey," he said, interrupting her story, "I don't mean to cut you off but don't you need to get to work?" he asked. "Don't want to be late, right?"

She glanced quickly at her watch. "Oh, God, I had no idea we'd been talking so long," she said. She grabbed her keys from her night table. As she did so, Jack's ring fell onto the floor. A sigh escaped her as she bent to pick it up. She stared at it for a few moments, keeping completely silent. Jack cleared his throat on the other end of the call and she shook her head a little at herself. "Sorry," she said. "I knocked some stuff on the floor and I got distracted when I was picking it up."

A grin pulled at the corners of Jack's mouth. He could imagine the whole scene and it was such an endearing thought. "It's alright," he said.

She got up quickly and slipped the ring into her pocked as she practically ran out of her room. On her way to the door she hit her roommate's head. "Bye Mikey," she said, pulling open the front door of her apartment and headed for the stairs. "Yeah, Jack? I should probably go. When are you going to be in LA again?" she asked. She finally made it to the lobby and was walking to the door. "Because, you know, it would be really cool if we-"

She stopped mid sentence when she exited her building. Excitement bubbled inside her but her exterior was all but frozen in shock. Slowly, she lowered the phone from the side of her face and pressed the end button.

When she finally convinced her brain to make her legs move, she started running. "Jack!" she said excitedly. She threw her arms around him when she reached him. His arms immediately encircled her waist and he lifted her off the ground. "Why didn't you tell me you were here?" she asked.

He laughed. "Well, I was going to. But it never quite seemed to fit into the conversation," he said as he put her down. "But I am. And we should go to Disneyland. Doesn't that sound fun?" he asked.

"I've actually never been to Disneyland," Chelley confessed. "But yes, it does sound like fun. There's only one problem."

"What's that?" Jack asked.

"I work all week," she said.

Jack sighed. "All week?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes, and as much as I would love to be able to stand here and chat, I really have to go. Jack, I'm so sorry. I can call you tonight after my shift. Are you staying with Alex?" she asked and he nodded. "Alright. I promise I'll call you and maybe even stop by to see you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"It's alright," Jack said unconvincingly. "Duty calls."

A quiet sigh escaped him as he watched her walk to her car. Chelley couldn't hear but as she put distance between them, she could feel tension filling up the space. She wished, just as much as he did, that she could spend the day with him, or even be able to tell him that she could spend the next day with him.

Both had become miserable. But neither was willing to admit it and would just continue to wade through each day as if nothing was wrong.