Look Closer

It was dark when Chelley pulled up in front of Alex's house. She was tired, having covered part of someone else's shift after her own, and would rather go home and sleep but kept her promise to Jack to call him. It hadn't been her intention to let him talk her into hanging out, but he had somehow managed to persuade her against her better judgment.

It took her a few minutes to get out of her car. Her brain was screaming at her to call Jack and tell him she wasn't going to make it. She wanted sleep. But she wanted to see Jack too. It had been in the back of her mind during work and she was beginning to have trouble ignoring it.

She caught the flick of a lighter as she began to walk up the driveway and suddenly realized that she hadn't taken note of the other cars parked in front of the house. The porch light wasn't on but she knew who was on the porch. The only one who smoked.

"I'm really glad they turned the light on for me. Makes a girl feel really welcome," Chelley said when she was close enough for the other girl to hear her without having to raise her voice.

Cassie took a long drag off her cigarette and raised her eyebrows. "They're too busy bitching at each other to think about common courtesy," she said.

"Like, actually bitching? Or just being, you know, them?" Chelley asked.

"Nope," Cassie said, shaking her head, "They are actually bitching at each other. Like little girls."

Chelley sighed quietly to herself. She was too tired for this. "What about?" she asked.

After taking another drag, Cassie responded, "It started out with them just bickering about something stupid. To be completely honest, I wasn't paying attention. Angie and I were actually working on something we didn't get finished at the office today," she said. "Then I guess you called and the ridiculous bicker turned more serious. Alex is a little sensitive about the information Angie shared with him and, I mean, I get that. But he's being a little bitch about it. Like he shouldn't have told you that he and I dated to begin with, you know? So he started bitching at Jack about it. And Jack, being Jack, tried to just brush it off with a joke. But Alex, big baby that he is, didn't take it well and started bitching at Jack more." She paused long enough to take another drag off her cigarette. "Then Rian, always trying to be practical, defends Jack and then, and this is where his fatal mistake comes in, then he tells my forever wonderful boyfriend that it's not a big deal. Right? And it shouldn't be, because it's done and over with. And maybe it wouldn't have become such a big deal if someone, Jack, had been straight with Alex weeks ago. So I can kind of see where Alex is coming from but seriously, I want to just choke him out right now because he's being such a fucking child."

Chelley's eyes had grown wide during Cassie's rant. By the time she had finished, they looked like they were going to pop out of her head. Even more than before, she just wanted to go home and sleep.

"Cigarette?" Cassie asked, holding out the open pack to the younger girl. "Calm your nerves before you walk in there."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Thanks. I don't smoke."

"I know," Cassie said with a nod. She blew smoke away from Chelley. "I didn't either at one point."

Her forehead wrinkled. "Are you saying I should start?" she asked. The idea was so foreign to Chelley, one she had never even considered as an option.

"No," Cassie said. "I'm just saying." She took one last drag before dropping the butt of the cigarette and stepping on it. "Ready to go inside?" she asked and Chelley nodded, suddenly unable to find her voice. "Brace yourself," Cassie said and pushed the door open.

Before they even stepped inside the house, Chelley could hear the boys going at it. She followed Cassie as she led the way into the living room. Just before they walked into the room, a female voice chimed in.

"Just shut the fuck up, Alex. Jesus Christ. Your girlfriend can't even stand you right now," Angie said. "If you didn't notice, she went to go suck on a cancer stick because she'd rather partake in something that leads to premature death than listen to you whine like a little bitch."

Alex grew quiet. The girls stepped into the room, Chelley coming up on the side of Cassie just in time to see the look on her face.

"Ang, could you not?" she said in a surprisingly calm manner.

Angie's eyebrow raised. "Am I wrong? Don't you think he needs to hear it?" she questioned.

"Yes, you are wrong. I'm irritated by the whole situation. I'm annoyed that such a tiny thing has exploded into such a monstrous issue that could have been avoided all together if maybe everyone had just been honest in the first place," she said, her tone still calm. "And you know, Angie, maybe if you 'sucked on a cancer stick' every once in awhile, you wouldn't feel the need to be such a heinous bitch when situations get a little out of hand." She looked across the room at Alex. "I'm going home."

With that, she turned on her heel and made her way back to the door. Alex went after her quickly, leaving the situation as it was. The room fell silent. Rian looked at Angie. Angie glared at Jack. Jack was staring the floor. And Chelley's eyes moved between each of them. She was at a loss for words at the scene she had just witnessed.

After what seemed like hours but was only mere seconds, Jack looked up. His eye caught Chelley's before she had chance to move them and a small smile played at his lips. It didn't matter that Alex was upset or that Angie hated him or that Rian was putting himself in the middle of a situation that didn't even really involve him. His heart felt lighter at the sight of this girl.

"Hey Chelle," he said. "Do you want something to drink? Or eat? Are you hungry?" he asked.

She shook her head slowly. "I'm fine, thanks," she said. "Is everything alright here?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Alex just needs some time to cool off. It's not nearly the big deal he's making it out to be. But you know that, I'm sure," he said.

A sigh escaped her. "I, um, you know, Cassie had a point. If everyone had just been honest to begin with, none of this would be an issue. Like, if Alex had just told me about him and Cassie, we could have dealt with it differently," she said. "Or if you had told him that you told me about them, maybe he wouldn't be so upset now. I'm not trying to get in the middle of this. But I can't really help it because I'm literally the middle of this. It's centered around me, which I'm not really comfortable with. So maybe, you know, you guys could all get this worked out. Soon."

Jack's jaw nearly dropped at how forward she was. It seemed so unlike her and it took a minute for him to gather his thoughts to be able to respond. "I'll talk to him about it. Tomorrow. I promise," he said finally.

"Thank you," she said. "And I know I just got here, but I'm really tired. It's been a long day and after all that, I think I should go home and sleep."

Jack's face fell but he nodded slowly. "Okay," he said quietly. "I'll walk you out."

He followed her down the hall and out the door. When they were at her car, he pulled the driver side door open for her. She moved to get in but he stopped her before she could.

"I'm really sorry. About tonight. I really didn't think that would happen. Alex and I never stay mad at each other," he said.

"Yeah, well, you're both growing up and learning that life isn't just drinking and dick jokes. Some things hurt more deeply than others," she said.

He nodded and she made a move to get in the car again but he grabbed her arm. Every part of him wanted to kiss her. To tell her, once again, he loved her. And that he knew he was going to love her from the moment they met. Not because he wanted to, necessarily. But because sometimes you just don't have a choice.

But those three words didn't make a difference they first time he said them when they should have had the most impact, so he was sure they wouldn't help now. She turned her eyes up toward his and he held her gaze.

"Stay," he said.

Her heart jumped inside her chest. "What?" she asked.

"Stay. Here," he said. "Don't go."

"Jack," she said with a quiet sigh. It seemed to make sense. And some part of her wanted to say yes. "I'm tired. I just want to sleep."

"I know. So just come inside and we'll go upstairs and you can borrow some pajamas and we'll lay down and fall asleep together," he said. His eyes were all but begging her to oblige. "Please."

She stayed quiet for a moment. Her heart was pounding and the sound reverberated in her ears. It felt like all the blood in her body had suddenly rushed to her head and she was almost dizzy. Without thinking, she grabbed onto her car door for balance.

Finally, she broke eye contact and redirected her gaze to the ground. And from that simple action, it was obvious what her answer was going to be.

"I can't," she said.

Jack stared at her refusing to look at him. "Can't?" he asked, "Or won't?"

She sighed again and let his words sink in. But it wasn't so much the words that got to her. It was the pain in his voice that he tried so hard to hide. "Both, I guess," she replied.

He nodded. "Alright," he said softly. She finally managed to get inside her car and she reached for her door but he grabbed onto it before she could do anything. "Meet me at the court house tomorrow morning. We'll get this thing taken care of." She still didn't look at him and simply nodded her head. "Night, Chelle," he said and pushed her door closed.

She started her car and watched him walk back toward the house. Once he was inside, she put the car in gear and drove toward her apartment. The moment she rounded the corner, she was thankful that no one was with her because she couldn't explain, even to herself, the tears that started to fall.