Buried Alive By Love
Buried Alive By Love
He's doing it again.
Please don't come in.
I sighed as he walked up the steps, his tight girl jeans, his black t-shirt, his designer shoes, all coming up the steps to my door.
Ding. Dong
Fuck, not again. Why do I let him do this to me?
Cause you love him.
Shut up!
I got up from my position on the couch and made my way to the door.
"Brenny Bear!" he slurred.
"Ryan you're drunk,"
He stumbled into my, house kicking his shoes off at the door.
"Bren, babe, I've missed you," He leaned over to me, pressing his lips against mine.
I gave into the kiss, then pushed him softly.
"No, Ryan, you can't use me like this again."
Ryan's eyes almost met mine before he looked down again.
"I'm not babe. I love you. I miss being in your arms."
A tear ran down my cheek. I closed my eyes and remembered how his hands felt around mine.
"Aw babe, don't cry. I love you."
I felt his hands cup my face, and his soft fingers wipe away my tears. I wished he meant it. I was so tired of being used. Every time he'd show up drunk after a breakup, he'd always come back to me. He needed me. I was his best friend, his first love.
"No Ryan, you don't love me. You have to think you love me."
Ryan stared at me for a moment, opening his mouth to say something, then closing it back. Tears ran freely down my face.
"Brendon I will always love you."
He leaned in and kissed me. As much as I wanted to stop, I couldn't. I opened my mouth and let his tongue come in. Why was I doing this again? Ryan pushed me against the wall, kissing down my neck. I moaned slightly as he bit softly into my flesh. I whispered to him to stop, but my pleas went unanswered. He gradually took our clothes off, throwing them on the floor. He brought us over to the couch. We were both fully naked.
"Baby I love you," he whispered as he entered me.
I cried silently, hating myself more and more. Ryan came, whispering another "I love you" on his lips. He laid on the couch snuggling into me, his sweaty head buried into the crook of my neck. He drew designs on my stomach with his finger until sleep over took him.
Why do I do this to myself?
You love him.
Shut up!
Besides, he loves me too.
Please don't come in.
I sighed as he walked up the steps, his tight girl jeans, his black t-shirt, his designer shoes, all coming up the steps to my door.
Ding. Dong
Fuck, not again. Why do I let him do this to me?
Cause you love him.
Shut up!
I got up from my position on the couch and made my way to the door.
"Brenny Bear!" he slurred.
"Ryan you're drunk,"
He stumbled into my, house kicking his shoes off at the door.
"Bren, babe, I've missed you," He leaned over to me, pressing his lips against mine.
I gave into the kiss, then pushed him softly.
"No, Ryan, you can't use me like this again."
Ryan's eyes almost met mine before he looked down again.
"I'm not babe. I love you. I miss being in your arms."
A tear ran down my cheek. I closed my eyes and remembered how his hands felt around mine.
"Aw babe, don't cry. I love you."
I felt his hands cup my face, and his soft fingers wipe away my tears. I wished he meant it. I was so tired of being used. Every time he'd show up drunk after a breakup, he'd always come back to me. He needed me. I was his best friend, his first love.
"No Ryan, you don't love me. You have to think you love me."
Ryan stared at me for a moment, opening his mouth to say something, then closing it back. Tears ran freely down my face.
"Brendon I will always love you."
He leaned in and kissed me. As much as I wanted to stop, I couldn't. I opened my mouth and let his tongue come in. Why was I doing this again? Ryan pushed me against the wall, kissing down my neck. I moaned slightly as he bit softly into my flesh. I whispered to him to stop, but my pleas went unanswered. He gradually took our clothes off, throwing them on the floor. He brought us over to the couch. We were both fully naked.
"Baby I love you," he whispered as he entered me.
I cried silently, hating myself more and more. Ryan came, whispering another "I love you" on his lips. He laid on the couch snuggling into me, his sweaty head buried into the crook of my neck. He drew designs on my stomach with his finger until sleep over took him.
Why do I do this to myself?
You love him.
Shut up!
Besides, he loves me too.