Unshead Tears and Stupid 'I Love You's'

When I walked out the door I realized I was just shutting out reality.
But i was done with this reality, I wanted a new one.
One I created myself, not one my parents created for me out of problems and spite.
This was a start-over. I was going to make this count. Almost like my past life never existed.
Denial was something I was always good at, Running goes right along with it.
So I drove my car to the airport and walked inside. I got a ticket to California.
This was really happening. I sat waiting, My flight wasn't due for a hour, I just looked at my ticket like it was a golden ticket from Charlie and the chocolate factory. Like there was something magical behind this slip of paper that would take me to this place of wonder.
What was waiting behind it was beyond me.
An hour from now the door to this reality would really be closed. For good.
I felt like I was looking at the world from brand new eyes. Eyes of my own for the first time.
I don't know what made me feel this way, maybe i was high, or it was just the fact that I couldn't cry anymore.