Mercy

The atrocity that played out on my behalf in Jakob’s apartment was too tediously planned to have been coincidental. Though it was practically impossible for anyone to have been aware of my past due to how I refused to ever speak of it, I experienced an uncontrollable sense of betrayal. Whether it had been by the young man’s burnout brother or his senile old bastard of a father, someone’s loose lips sent me crashing headfirst into the very situation I’d been feverishly evading for years. Someone’s loose lips left me literally and metaphorically fucked in the ass, raped of any waning shred of dignity or self-respect I may have had left.

And goddamn, I took it like a good little bitch without so much as a flinch or a single, garbled cry of the impending physical and mental ache I was doomed to endure. My only saving grace was that in doing so, I was rescuing another from the same dismal fate despite the obvious harm I would be inflicting upon myself. All I had to do was keep my pretty mouth shut and subject myself to the maddening grunts and grumbles of an incredible sadist while his boyfriend nursed his blackened eye in a corner across the room.

“Stop whining, Jakob, you deserved it. I did not give you permission to have guests tonight,” the boyfriend growled, though his eyes eyed me up with anything but contempt. In fact, the lust bubbling within his masochistic core was enough to make me want to vomit, but I swallowed the urge and permitted a foul hand to caress my trembling arms.

“It’s a professional matter! My father’s dying and…and…” Jakob sniveled, his words fading fast as he struggled to settle upon a name other than Fairy to call me by. When such a name failed to present itself in his mind, Jakob settled with an impersonal pronoun. “He’s the nurse.”

“Oh, so you’re fucking role-playing now? That really clears up the situation for me, Bitch. Puts shit in fucking perspective.” The boyfriend scowled at his helpless little captive before returning his filthy interests upon my body, smirking as he believed he had the upper hand.

“No! He wants to have Dad moved to the hospice. He’s…he’s dying, Elliot, and I’m not cheating on you with his nurse,” Jakob sobbed, hugging his knees tightly against his chest.

“Yet,” Elliot snarled, “but this slut’ll be begging you for it in no time at all.”

The wink he sent in my direction made my skin crawl, but I effectively held my composure, denying Elliot the satisfaction of breaking me so quickly.

“Oh, fuck you,” I sighed.

Bloodshot, curious eyeballs peered between the pair of us in absolute bewilderment, unsure of what to make of the accusations being thrown about. For a moment, Jakob opened his mouth as if he wished to speak, but his insecurities forbade him to ask his burning question. Instead, he waited hungrily for the argument to commence once more, perhaps to deliver any form of information to his eager ears without the embarrassing task of having to ask it aloud.

“Shit, Mikey’s not gonna play nice. What’s wrong, Slut? Your customers forget to pay you tonight or did one of them finally give you AIDS?” Elliot sneered, eyes shimmering in anticipation of a fiery rebuttal.

“In case you’ve gone deaf, sweetheart, I’ll repeat what Jakob just told you: I’m a goddamn nurse now,” I replied coolly.

“Last time I checked, you were still a whore.”

An audible whimper emanated from the corner where Jakob was curled in on himself, and at last his own inquisitiveness broke through the dreadful shell of his self-conscious obedience as he demanded, “How do you know him, El?”

“Y’know how I was in prison before I met you?”

Jakob nodded, eyes wide.

“This stupid whore put me there. I knew he was turning tricks for God knows what, and what does he do when I confront him about it? He gets me fucking arrested. He set me up,” Elliot grumbled bitterly, his lust-lidded eyes darkening momentarily with resentment.

“Why?”

“Because he’s the crazy ex who didn’t have the balls to break up with me, so he had the cops do it for him. The bastard spends one fucking night in jail for prostitution while I got 1-3 years for being a potential customer. Total bullshit…but guess who got out early, Slut?”

“You?” I questioned impassively, rolling my eyes in unimpressed disgust.

“Damn right I did. In fact, one of the first things I did when I got out was to try to look for you.”

“You didn’t try very fucking hard, then. I’m still in the same shitty apartment we were living in until all the legal bullshit,” I snapped.

“And I bet you still have that same shitty armchair,” Elliot sneered, a shit-eating grin revealing every single one of his frustratingly perfect teeth. For the first time since I arrived at Jakob’s apartment, I was caught off guard. The mere mention of the chair sent a nearly unbearable pang reverberating throughout my body as he verbally jabbed the ever-tender subject of my daughter. I will forever regret the night I allowed myself to be diligently scrutinized by Elliot, confessing every buried detail of how my baby was stolen from me only to have it thrown mercilessly back in my face.

“I do.”

Elliot was silent for a moment, gray eyes drifting off into the depths of his own mind to mull over his options. He was a predictable son of a bitch, and prolonging his next eminent decision set off an internal panic attack deep within my core. It left me frantically wondering what could put an end to his exasperating considerations, but before I had the chance to sway his verdict, Elliot turned gradually to Jakob with nothing short of derision in store for the fragile man.

“Y’know, Bitch, you were too easy to break. It’s like you have no soul, and I’m bored of you. Now Mike…he was difficult. He actually fought back, so breaking his slutty little spirit again will be much more interesting,” he mocked, laughing pitilessly as Jakob’s sobs grew louder.

“Elliot, you can’t do this to me! I love you!” he bawled.

“Quit your fucking crying. I never loved you.”

“Get out! I want you out of my apartment!” Jakob screamed at me, his manic voice echoing throughout the apartment with a chilling shrill.

“I’m sorry, Jakob, I had no idea-”

“If Mike’s not welcome here then I’m leaving with him. This was fun, but I’ve gotta split. Have a nice life, Bitch,” Elliot spat at Jakob, proceeding to knock the poor man off his knees as he dragged me to the door. When my unsteady fingers grasped the cool metal of the door handle, he whispered maniacally in my ear, “You’re not getting away from me so easily this time around, Slut.”

Apparently, my fear of the previously unknown boyfriend becoming aware of my pornographic nametag was futile seeing as that man had already read the message loud and clear so long ago, abusing it every fucking chance he got.

With Elliot’s clammy hands forcing me out to the parking lot, all I could think about was Billie Joe. If he had anything to do with my new predicament, he would be dead by my next shift.