As Depression Takes Over

There's so many ways one can cope with things. Ryan doesn't know how he copes with his abuse. He doesn't how he makes it through each day. He's lost in a never ending timezone that seems like it repeats itself over and over again. There's not one day where Ryan can have a normal day. Even when Ryan's out with his friends it's not the same.

Memories repeat in his mind. The feeling of Pete's hands on his body, the touch of his lips on Ryan's, and most recently the pain of the bruise on his face. Luckily, its not a black eye. It's just a bruise on his cheek. Ryan easily uses cover up to make it seem like it never existed. But cover up can't erase those painful memories. Ryan just stares at the ugly figure in front of him. It looks so sad and disgusting but only in Ryan's mind.

Why can't I look normal for once? What is normal? What am I? I'm like a zombie. I'm rotting away, I'm soulless, emotionless. Why does Pete even want me?

Ryan didn't realize Pete was staring at him.

"Ryan?"

What's so appealing about a sixteen year old boy who's so abnormal?

"Ryan? Hello?"

How do I even keep all friends and my grades? I didn't even keep my virginity?

"What are you doing?"

Oh, god! I'm a whore aren't I? Oh my gosh-

"Ryan!" Pete's voice made practically made Ryan blackout. He hates his voice. Especially when he yells. Ryan felt weightless. He felt useless. "Ryan? What's going on with you? You've been sulking for months now." Ryan rubbed his eyes and looked at Pete. "This isn't like you. You've been acting so weird." Weird?

"That's all I am to you? Weird?" Pete shook his head.

"No. I didn't mean it like that."

"What do you even see in me? What am I to you, Pete? Why don't you just kill me now? You're going to do it anyways."

"Ryan, I don't want to kill you. Why would you even think that?" Ryan could of said so many things but nothing would come out. Silence. Ryan felt tears form in his eyes. The way Pete looked at him made him feel sad.

Ryan ran out Pete's bathroom and over to a guest room. He locked himself in there and sat on the bed. Silently crying. He didn't move or look in any other direction but straight. He didn't pay any attention to the voice coming from outside the door.

....................................

"Ryan! Get out of there! It's been two days already and I'm worried."

Worried? What the hell is wrong with him?

"Ryan, please. You have to eat something."

I don't have to eat anything. Besides, food can't make me beautiful. It's just food, not a miracle.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. It's just you're different then what you used to be. You're not... normal."

"I know I'm not normal! That's why I'm in here!" After that Pete only heard undecipherable mumbling when really it was... "How stupid is he? Why can't he just leave me alone for once? Normal. He's acting like he's normal. Normal my ugly ass."

"Ryan..." Pete sighed and left him alone.