Beautiful Insanity

I hurried to put on clothes before they would send some nurse to knock on my door but I couldn’t think straight, Gerard just told Anton about his feelings about me. ‘And?’ A voice inside of me asked. I shrugged. Well I wasn’t sure how to feel, I wasn’t like…crushing on him extremely but I sure did like him. And as my thoughts shimmered around in my head I was able to put the wrong foot in my jeans which caused me to fall on to the floor. I let out a loud grunt, annoyed for allowing me to be so distracted. I managed to pick myself up from the floor and out of the god forsaken room.

I was surprised to see that everyone was fully dressed and even in outdoor clothing, clearly waiting for me. Angelina and some male nurse stood next to the boys trying to calm them down, they looked super excited.

“Oh I’m gonna buy the new Lostprophets CD!” Billie exclaimed nearly jumping his height with joy as he clapped his hands. Anton nodded and punched him in the shoulder. “Good me too, they’re the best!”

Everyone was excited, except for Gerard. He stood there staring at the floor. ‘What the..?’ Then something clicked inside me, it was one of his bad days. I bit my lip and walked towards the crew, trying to ignore the emo little Gerard. Angelina looked up and waved to me, gesturing me to join them.

“We’ve been waiting for you for hours Frankie!” Billie said and frowned. Well tried, he was too busy smiling so it looked a bit weird.

“Well, I just woke up…No one woke me up” I looked puzzled at Angelina. She flashed me a heartwarming smile and placed her hand on my shoulder. “You deserved some sleep Frankie, since we’re going to the mall today!”

“What?!” I asked surprised. I thought that mentally fucked people weren’t allowed to go the mall, I mean I wasn’t even allowed to go to the mall when I lived with my parents.

“Yub, the head doctor accepted my plead for letting you guys to live a little after you know…that zombie week” Her voice darkened with her last words. I looked at her with big eyes, I never thought that she cared that much for us. I couldn’t help but give her a big grisly hug. She laughed heartily and patted my back.

“Now go and get ready, the taxi will be here in 5 minutes” I nodded and rushed back into my room. Soon I had thrown on my old skinny black jeans and a Metallica t-shirt and hurried back to the group. Gerard didn’t look up when I arrived, he kept on staring at the floor. But Anton and Billie were blabbering away about what they were going to buy, different kind of CD’s and clothes and food and what not.

Angelina and the male nurse lead us outside where a taxi was waiting for us. I suddenly realized that this was the first time in months that I had been outside. I had forgotten the great feeling that you got when the sun shined lightly on your skin keeping you warm then a small gentle breeze still keeping you content. The sun was shining lightly behind the clouds but it wasn’t cold, far from it. It was late august so it was seriously hot, well we were of course in LA.

As we were all in the car I found myself being crushed between Billie and Gerard. Billie didn’t pay attention to me, since he and Anton were still really busy deciding on what to buy. I looked at Gerard, not sure if I should start a conversation since he just stared out the window blankly. But then I remembered that day in the art room, he had been depressed all day then suddenly he got all happy after he gave me the drawing. I opened my mouth but didn’t know what to say and soon I closed it again, feeling like a total idiot. Then I opened it again.

“So Gerard…What’ya gonna buy in the mall?” I asked. I nearly wanted to slap myself for that lame beginning for a conversation but he stopped staring out of the window and flashed a big smile that showed his tiny little teeth.

“Oh I’m going to get the new t-shirts and hoodies and hopefully some CD’s!” He said cheerfully. I was shocked how quickly his mood changed. Maybe he’s insane and bipolar. I thought it was hot. I smiled and asked him about what stores what he was going to check on and if he was going to buy something to eat and all the way to the mall…He talked and talked with the biggest smile on his face.