Beautiful Insanity

The next day I woke up feeling somehow really sad. I sat up in my bed and felt bewildered at the hole I felt in my chest. Confused I stood up and ignored that throbbing pain and looked outside my window. The sun was shining high on the clear blue sky as I watched a group of teenagers walk past the clinic. The group reminded me of my old friends, the ones I had before I got into this place. My best friend Damon I had known since kinder garden, who was famous for his exotic looks and cold attitude. Of course I had a fucking crush on him, but he straight as Mel Gibson. He had medium long black hair that hung often over his black eyes. He was quite tall and very slim…Just my time. But he wasn’t my best friend because of his looks but 5 years ago in grade school I was the weird freak that everybody loved to tease. I often eat my lunches in the bathroom for disabled kids just so I would be left alone.

Until one day a new kid came into my class. He was a year older than us but he was from Italy so he had to take one year behind than the kids his age. And after our first class, while I was on my way to class, five guys who often loved to kick the shit out of me stood in front of me. But just as they were about throw punches, Damon came out of nowhere and stood in front of me, telling them to piss off. But when they wouldn’t leave, Damon took them all out. After that people stopped picking on me and me and Damon became best friends.

Sighing that the memories I had with Damon I turned away from the window and got dressed but still with my mind on my best friend. Why hadn’t he come and see me? He must know I miss him, miss having someone to talk to, someone who isn’t my doctor. Thinking about that made the hole in my chest grow. Well maybe I’m allowed to call him? I hadn’t asked the staff if I was allowed to contact people at home since I didn’t want anything to do with my family but this was different.

I opened the door and spotted all the guys sitting in front of the TV, all laughing. I saw Angie sitting in front of the kitchen table, reading the paper. She smiled as she saw me and hinted me to come and join her.

“Heya” I muttered and sat next to her, eying the boys who still hadn’t noticed him.

“Mornin’ Frankie, you want something to eat?” She flashed me another smile but I wasn’t in the mood for giving her a fake smile. I just nodded, still keeping my eyes on the guys.

Somehow I had forgotten all about the kiss I shared with Gerard last night when I woke up. Suddenly I was filled with fear and terror. Oh no…I promised myself that I wouldn’t let myself get a crush on someone, what then someone whom I have to see every fucking day and not be able to run away. Fuck fuck fuck fuck…Panic.

“You okay Frankie? You look a little pale sweetie” Angie asked, placing a bowl of cereal in front of me.

“Na I’m okay” I sighed. “Hey I was wondering, am I allowed to call my friends?” I asked with a hint of despair in my voice. Just thinking about Damon got me all wound up, I needed to talk to him, especially after what happened last night with Gerard.

“Of course, now since you’ve been here for a couple of weeks you’re allowed to have visitors and call your family and friends at any time”

“Oh thank god…” I whispered. “Wait, so I can make a call right now?” Angie nodded.

“The phone is over there, near the door” I jumped up, ignoring my cereal, and ran to the door and dialed the number I had memorized 4 years ago.

As I waited for someone to pick up, the guys had noticed me. Gerard jumped up from the couch and ran to hug me but before I would act, Damon picked up.

“Hello?” A voice said on the other line, confused.

“Damon! It’s me Frankie” I breathed out, eyeing Gerard. He got the point and walked away, looking…betrayed? Nope, I think he didn’t get the point.