That Last Little Spark

I slipped into the Pirate Bar, where everyone was gathered around the island in the center, picking up pancakes and eggs with their hands as April yelled at them.

"God, nice to know you guys haven't changed a bit: still don't know how to use a plate." I rolled my eyes and added the box of donuts to the counter space.

"Oh! Jess, Bam's in his room. He wanted to ask you about something." April said as she turned around to make more pancakes.

"Which one is his room?" I hadn't done much exploring around here. I only knew where my room was. This house was so different from the old yellow house they used to live in. Honestly, this house looked smaller on TV. I guessed the name Castle Bam was appropriate.

"His is the only one on the next floor. It's in the hallway that leads to the door. First door on the left." she instructed. I started to walk up the stairs, out of the comfortable atmosphere of people joking and laughing and into unsettling silence.

I took a deep breath before slowly pushing open Bam's door. The door to his bathroom was closed and the sink was running, so I went to stand by the window and leaned on the desk right under it.

He walked out shirtless as steam floated out behind him, and his hair was wet and matted to his head in some places.

"Didn't find anything for the drive home?" he asked nonchalantly.

"I already told you I didn't, remember?" I asked back.

"Oh, well I was just wondering what store has grass in it." he looked down at the floor at the same time I did. I had pieces of wet grass stuck to my shoes and my feet. I knew I couldn't say I came up the lawn. They were getting chemicals put on it and we were told not to walk on the grass.

"So where were you, really?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood a few feet away from me.

"You should already know that." I stared back at him. My gaze never faltered from his face. I watched as his jaw dropped in realization.

"You went there ALONE?! Jess, do you realize how stupid that was?" he asked, his voice increasing in volume a little.

"Don't you dare tell me that visiting my family's graves was stupid!" I shot back.

"You went out ALONE to go to a cemetery, Jess! Even if your reason is good, what if something had happened?" he asked.

"What, like Chase?" I hissed. His face went pale, and he looked like he had been slapped. "I already thought about that. I have pepper spray. I know how to defend myself. There's four cemeteries around this town. He doesn't know where they're buried. He doesn't know what kind of car I drive. So don't stand there and tell me I was being stupid. I took a risk, but nothing happened." I heard my voice increase in volume to match his.

"Why didn't you tell someone? Or wake me up or something?" he asked, getting angry once again.

"Because I would have everyone following me! And don't say that nobody would! Because I know you! You know I go there to be alone!" I said before I whirled around to face the window, my hands flat on the desk to support myself. I couldn't fight the tears the pricked at my eyes and eventually spilled over. But I didn't let any sound out and fought to keep myself from shaking as I cried silently, looking out at the sun.

*

"Fine, if you want time to be alone, take it." Bam snarled at her as he reached for the doorknob and flung the door open. The only thing that stopped him from walking out was a sharp sniffle. He slowly turned and looked over at Jess. Her shoulders shook violently and her head was hanging low. When she drew in a shaky breath, he closed the door.

"Jess?" he asked much quieter. Her only reply was more shaky gasps. He crossed the floor and turned her around. She didn't even try to push him away or fight him.

Tears streamed down her face from her brown eyes, bringing down faint lines of eyeliner and mascara. She was biting her lip to try and silence the sobs that threatened to choke her.

"Jess. What's wrong?" he asked, wiping gently under her eyes.

"Everything." she finally choked out through her sobs. He pulled her into his arms and lifted her up a little to sit her on the desk. He stood there with his arms around her as she rested her forehead against his still-bare chest, her tears like hot wax on his skin.

"What do you mean?" he asked in her ear and rubbed her back comfortingly trying to get her to calm down a little.

"He's the last person I ever wanted to see in my life. I was in control from the moment I confronted him in that courtroom until the moment he took his sunglasses off yesterday. And now I know...that he'll find me. No matter what lies I tell him about where I live or what I do for a living...he'll find me. I promised myself I would never let him get to me like this, and he has! Without saying anything threatening, he's already taking control of my life!" she burst out and cried harder.

"Shhh." he tried soothing her.

"A-and with Erica's wedding...watching her parents plan something beautiful and memorable makes me miss my mom and dad even more. My dad's never going to get to walk me down an aisle someday. My mom's never going to get to help me get ready. My sister's never going to get to stand with me at the front of a church. And I hate it! It's not fair!" she whimpered. He had nothing to say to that.

"...And then...there's us." she whispered. He waited, not saying anything as she pulled away. "Bam...I want to love you...I really do. But I'm scared of losing you like I did the last time in high school. Ever since then, I haven't even thought about dating anyone else. Kelsey was right. I make up excuses to avoid getting close to guys because the last time I did, I lost all of them, especially the one who I loved more than the rest. And now I'm scared I'm going to lose you somehow." she admitted her deepest secret, looking down at the tattoos on Bam's chest to avoid looking in his eyes.

"Jess. Look at me." he softly commanded. She shook her head, knowing that if she looked into his blue eyes, she would lose it again. He gently lifted her chin up so she was looking into his eyes.

"I promise I will never, ever leave you again without putting up a fight." he whispered and rested his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and sniffled.

"You promise?" she asked, just to be sure. He gently wiped under her eyes again.

"I promise." he repeated and kissed her softer than he had ever kissed any girl.