That Last Little Spark

Jess was up long before Bam, wearing a light sun dress and typing away on her laptop, looking at more theme ideas on the Internet. Should they have it outside, with all of the trees in the background? What if it rained? What about table settings? Who would marry them?

She rubbed her eyes and shook the thoughts from her head, closing the laptop and putting it in her bag. She checked the clock on the beside table. It was 9:30.

‘Visiting aunt Kelly, be back soon :)’ she left a note on her pillow for Bam to see when he woke up. She slowly opened the door and slipped into the hallway, where she quietly made her way down the stairs to slip on her shoes.

Once outside, she climbed into her car and started off in the direction of her aunt’s house...taking a detour along the way.

A warm breeze was blowing when she got out of her car at the cemetery, ruffling her dress. The iron gates threw shadows on the ground in the sunlight, and the air smelled of fresh cut grass.

Jess walked along the path until she reached the graves of her parents and sister, and took a seat on the stone bench.

“You have to know by now, but just in case you don’t, Bam proposed to me yesterday.” she started off with a smile. “We’re getting married on October 17th... the same day you two got married. I know it’s a little fast, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. And mom...I’m going to wear your dress. I’m going to talk to aunt Kelly today about where it is.”

“Kelsey’s going to be my maid of honor, and Bam’s nieces are going to be the flower girls. Angel, you would’ve made a beautiful maid of honor. Your dress would’ve been fantastic.” she smiled at her sister’s small headstone.

“I...I just wish you all could be there with me. Daddy...I wish you could walk me down the aisle.” her smile faded away as the sorrow set in. “And finally have that father-daughter dance that every girl dreams of. And mom...I wish I could see your face when I walk down the aisle...wearing your dress.”

“You’re going to wear your mother’s dress?” Bam’s voice asked from behind her. She turned suddenly, the tearful expression on her face turning to one of surprise as her eyes widened.

“You aren’t supposed to hear that! What are you doing here?” she asked.

“What?? I don’t even know what your mom’s dress looked like!” he put his hands up in defense. “And Ape sent me out for breakfast, but I was actually coming here, myself.” he admitted.

“You were?” she asked. He nodded in response.

“I bet you didn’t know I came here before going to your aunt...before Erica’s wedding?” he said. She shook her head, waiting for him to go on.

“Before I asked your aunt if I could propose to you...I came here first...to ask your mom and dad...well, not ‘ask’.” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “But just to let them know that they were going to gain a son in the future.” he smiled at the memory.

Bam took a deep breath, staring down at the three headstones.

“I don’t know if you remember me...Brandon Margera? Jess and I...we knew each other in high school.” he began, shaking his head. How did Jess do this? Talk to marble and air?

He sat down on the bench and spotted a picture frame leaning against her mother’s stone. He picked it up and opened the back to look through the pictures of Jess...from her graduation all the way back to pictures of her younger years...pictures he had never seen before. There was one of her with her mother in the back.

“She looks just like you, Catherine.” he smiled, tracing the smiling face of the dark haired little girl in the picture, in a light blue dress and bare feet, next to a laughing woman in a pink and white flowered dress. Behind that one was one of Jess and her father. Jess was wearing the same blue dress, standing on her father’s feet in the middle of a room, smiling up at her father in adoration.

“Always had to do it the right way.” he chuckled to himself and went to the next picture, of Jess and a girl who had to be Kelsey, both in delicate white dresses and gloves, standing in front of an altar at a church, smiling and holding hands.

“I didn’t know she had a First Communion.” he said thoughtfully. The next picture was a collage of Jess’ school pictures, from preschool up to her senior year. After that, another one of Jess and Kelsey, still young, obviously playing dress up, if the oversized dresses gave any indication as to what they were doing. Jess was wearing a long white dress over her regular clothes, as the light pink color of her shirt was visible. She was also wearing a pearl necklace, her mother’s high heels, and bright red lipstick. A white sheet was carefully placed on her head and she held a bouquet of flowers in her hands...she was pretending to be a bride. And Kelsey, next to her, in a long purple dress, a matching necklace of pearls, linking her arm with Jess’...must’ve been giving her away.

Whether it was how he had been squinting in the sunlight, or how he had been examining the pictures so closely, his eyes started to burn. And outwardly, he would forever blame the sunlight, but tears began forming in his eyes as he spoke. For inwardly, he felt Jess’ pain...his parents had always been there for him and his brother. He’d always been able to run and play and be loud and crazy. Jess had to listen to her parents die...she had to grow up at only eight years old. She would never get to have her father walk her down the aisle and dance with her at their wedding. She wouldn’t get to see the joy on their faces when they met their future grandchildren. And her aunt...to raise her niece like her daughter...to lose her brother, her sister-in-law, and her unborn niece all at the same time, AND raise a child.

“I promise...I’ll take care of her. I’ll never leave her. I know she meant the world to you...she means the world to me, too. I’ll try to make her smile every day. So I hope you’ll let me marry her, because I love her. I always will.” he wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face then took a deep breath. He put the pictures back in the frame, then put the frame back against the headstone as he stood up.

“Thanks.” he whispered, then turned and walked away, the light breeze at his back as he passed through the gates.

Although he remembered this clearly, he said none of it to Jess.

“You asked them first?” she smiled.

“Yeah, and then I asked your aunt.” he chuckled.

“Uh-oh. She gave you a hard time?” she teased.

“More like she asked me what took so long.” he explained as Jess threw her head back and laughed, and he watched her laugh, thinking of her mother’s picture. They had the same smile...and he wondered...did they have the same laugh? What traits did she have that were like her mother’s? Like her father’s?

“What’s wrong?” she asked when she had stopped laughing, noticing his intense stare.

“Nothing.” he smiled. “I can’t wait to get this wedding started.” he grinned.

“Then I guess I should get to my aunt’s?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, and I guess I should get breakfast before Ape flips on me.” he nodded. They both looked over at the marble stones and smiled.

“They would’ve loved you.” she brought her eyes up to look at him.

“Yeah? With every crazy thing I’ve ever done? Or will do in the future?” he looked down at her.

“Everything.” she confirmed, bringing her lips up to meet his. They pulled apart, smiling, and he wrapped his arm around her waist as they left the cemetery together.

“See you back at the house.” she smiled as she slid into her car. Bam did the same and followed her out of the parking lot, turning right to head back to town, where she went left instead.

-
“There’s my girl!” aunt Kelly screeched in surprise when she opened the door to find Jess on the porch. Raven and Ash were barking behind her, wagging their tails eagerly when she stepped inside. Before she could bend to pet them, however, she was engulfed in a hug by her aunt.

“Oh, Bam told me everything this morning! I always knew he could do it!” her aunt continued.

“He already told you?! I wanted to tell you!” Jess exclaimed.

“Did he tell you what he did before he came here, though? Before he proposed to you?” her aunt pulled away to admire the ring.

“He asked my parents, he told me that.” Jess nodded.

“Goodness, Jess, he did more than that. He was talking about the pictures of you when you were little...how you look so much like Catherine...all of the dress up pictures. He told me that he promised them he would always take care of you. He didn’t tell you any of that?” Kelly asked.

“No.” Jess shook her head as her eyes widened in surprise. “He didn’t.” she said.

“He said he would be honored to be their son...and Angel’s brother in law, because he never had any sisters until his brother got married.” her aunt continued. Jess smiled softly.

“I’ll have to ask him about that. Anyway, I have a few things I want to ask you.” Jess said, setting her bag down beside her as she sat on the couch. Ash and Raven curled up at her feet, and her aunt sat beside her.

“I found this in a magazine in Kelsey’s basement.” Jess passed her the polaroid of her mother.

“Oh...oh my.” Kelly pressed a hand to her mouth as she looked at the picture.

“Aunt Kelly...I want to wear my mom’s dress. Do you know where it is?” Jess asked hopefully. Her aunt looked up from the picture and gave her a sad smile.

“Oh honey, your mom rented that dress for the wedding. But the shop told her they wanted it gone, because she was the only person who fell in love with it. They let her have it, and after the wedding, she put it in a bag in her parent’s house...until their basement flooded while they were on vacation, and was filled with water for a week. The dress was ruined, Jess...it couldn’t be salvaged because of mildew.” her aunt explained.

“Oh.” Jess frowned, looking down at the picture. She wanted so badly to wear her mother’s dress, to have her mother with her in some way.

“But I do know who the designer was.” her aunt smiled again. “It was a trunk show at...I believe Kleinfeld in New York City. It was an Allure Couture dress, and would you believe that this dress was one of the sample sizes that they put on the plastic models? They didn’t even have to make any alterations to it. They took it off the plastic dummy and it fit perfectly on her, and that’s when she knew. I bet if you went to Kleinfeld and showed them this picture, they might be able to either make the same dress or possibly have one already made. It won’t be the one your mother wore, but it would be the same dress.” she explained.

It could’ve been worse, Jess knew. Her aunt might not have known who made the dress or where her mom went to get it.

It wouldn’t be the dress her mom got married in, but it would look exactly the same. She nodded at her aunt’s suggestion.

“Do you know where you want to get married?” Kelly asked.

“I was thinking just set up chairs in the back at Bam’s, then hold the reception in the skate barn. It’s big enough.” she wrinkled her nose in thought.

“You want to walk around in the grass in a wedding dress?” her aunt asked. “What if it rains?”

“That’s what I was thinking about this morning. I don’t even know who I want to invite. Really it would be mostly Bam’s friends and family, anyway. I mean, there’s you, there’s Kelsey and her parents, and then there’s my bridesmaids and their families...if their families want to come. If there weren’t so many people coming I would probably think about getting married in a church, but I’m not very religious, and I don’t think Bam is...I haven’t been to a church since I was younger...” Jess sighed.

“Do you have to be religious to get married in a church?” her aunt asked.

“Well...why else would you get married in a church?” Jess asked, giving her aunt a strange look.

“Some people do it because of tradition, Jess. Your mother and father wanted to have their wedding at a country club that used to be outside of town, but that simply wasn’t done, according to both of their families. Your mother’s family was Catholic, your father’s side Episcopalian. They wanted the wedding in a church. So instead of start a fight in the family before they were even married, they agreed to have their wedding in a church, and the only religious parts of the ceremony were Communion and a few of the readings.” her aunt explained. Jess decided to let the location of the wedding sit at the back of her mind, as she had other things to address.

“There’s...another reason...I wanted to come here.” she spread her hands in her lap and bit her lip.

“Is something wrong?” her aunt’s face grew serious.

“No! No...just, something I wanted to ask you.” she looked up at her aunt.

“Will...will you...give me away?” she stumbled over the words that most daughters would ask their fathers.

“Oh...oh, Jess.” her aunt wrapped her arms around her. “I would love to.” she sniffled as Jess hugged her back, and she looked at the fireplace, where the picture of Jess and her parents still sat, a picture from the last Christmas they got to celebrate together, and felt truly honored to walk her niece down the aisle in her brother's place.