Status: Complete.
Ghost of You
2 : Holes
I didn't know where I was going, I just let my feet take me there. I pulled my new cap down over my eyes to keep out the now-burning sun. Blood was caked lightly on my arm from my elbow down to my palm. It took me about five blocks to realize I wasn't wearing shoes, but I didn't plan on going back into the house to get a pair. I thought about stopping to call my mom, and that's when I realized I didn't have my cellphone, either. So, I just kept walking. And I had a terrible feeling about where I was going to end up.
“No,” I whispered to myself, wanting to back away, but my feet refused to move. I stared hard at the cobblestone walls surrounding the graveyard, the black iron gates open and begging me forward. My palms started to sweat as I began to shake. I couldn't go in there. Not today. But, for some reason, my feet refused to move back. For some reason, they tried to go forward. And as much as I was shaking my head, as much as I could feel the tears wanting to start, as much as I wanted to turn and run, I was already four gravestones in.
It felt cold and damp inside the graveyard, as if the sun never shone here. It didn't feel right, me walking through a burial ground with no shoes on. I took my hat off in respect of the dead, although I didn't know why. My legs began to quake as the old oak tree ahead came into view. Bill was a nature-type guy, and the oak tree was one of the very few trees in the graveyard. Mom had to pull a lot of strings to get Bill buried under that tree. I gasped for air, my insides feeling hallow. I dropped onto my knees in front of his tombstone, tracing my fingers over the word “twin.”
“B-Bill,” I choked out, pulling my finger away.
Everything came flooding back to me then : the rainy night, my stupid idea to go to the lake, Bill wanting to turn back, me not listening, and then we arrived. And when Bill's flashlight blew out of his hands, he found that path, and I was stupid enough to turn my back to him. And then – then it happened. He fell, and I wasn't quick enough. I couldn't save him after that. Even the doctors that did the autopsy of his body told me that. They said that when he fell, he cracked his skull on a rock hidden beneath the water, and died instantly. I never believed them, though. I always felt it was my fault. And now … I let out a giant sob, feeling my entire body shake.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered, feeling the tears brim up behind my eyes. “I'm so sorry.”
And after that, I couldn't keep the tears from coming any longer. I choked on air as a lump formed in the back of my throat. That's when I spotted it. On the left side of Bill's grave, there was a hole that made it seem like dirt had caved in. The hole was big enough for my fist to fit through it. I wiped away my tears and placed my palm over the hole, tracing the circle with my index finger. I dug my fist into the fresh earth, ripping back grass and dirt and throwing it over the hole, snarling. If I ever saw anyone disrespecting Bill's grave … I sighed, letting the angry thoughts float away from my head. I leaned down and curled up next to Bill's grave, pulling my knees up to my chest and putting my hands underneath my head as a pillow …
I dashed into the bathroom, pulling back my dreads and lowering the cap on my head, watching myself in the mirror as a grin spread wide across my face as I tried the cap on all different ways. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, I felt a chill creep up my spine, making cold sweat appear on my forehead. And then he was there, behind me, his reflection in the mirror. But it wasn't him. He wasn't the same boy that drowned. He was as tall as me; he was skinny; his hair was raven black, but it had white streaks going through the front, and it stuck up everywhere like a porcupine; his face was soft, puppy-dog like; his nails were long and painted black; tight black clothes clung to his body.
“TOM!” he cried out, and I spun around, flying into the hamper.
And then he was gone. I reached up to try to close the bathroom door … but there was no bathroom door. My legs felt numb, and it was hard to stand. I pulled myself up using the sink, then limped to the doorway, gasping as I felt winded. I looked up and he was standing at the end of the hallway. Except this time, he smiled, and when I blinked, he vanished. Everything vanished. And I was left in the dark.
“Bill?” I whispered.
“No,” I whispered to myself, wanting to back away, but my feet refused to move. I stared hard at the cobblestone walls surrounding the graveyard, the black iron gates open and begging me forward. My palms started to sweat as I began to shake. I couldn't go in there. Not today. But, for some reason, my feet refused to move back. For some reason, they tried to go forward. And as much as I was shaking my head, as much as I could feel the tears wanting to start, as much as I wanted to turn and run, I was already four gravestones in.
It felt cold and damp inside the graveyard, as if the sun never shone here. It didn't feel right, me walking through a burial ground with no shoes on. I took my hat off in respect of the dead, although I didn't know why. My legs began to quake as the old oak tree ahead came into view. Bill was a nature-type guy, and the oak tree was one of the very few trees in the graveyard. Mom had to pull a lot of strings to get Bill buried under that tree. I gasped for air, my insides feeling hallow. I dropped onto my knees in front of his tombstone, tracing my fingers over the word “twin.”
“B-Bill,” I choked out, pulling my finger away.
Everything came flooding back to me then : the rainy night, my stupid idea to go to the lake, Bill wanting to turn back, me not listening, and then we arrived. And when Bill's flashlight blew out of his hands, he found that path, and I was stupid enough to turn my back to him. And then – then it happened. He fell, and I wasn't quick enough. I couldn't save him after that. Even the doctors that did the autopsy of his body told me that. They said that when he fell, he cracked his skull on a rock hidden beneath the water, and died instantly. I never believed them, though. I always felt it was my fault. And now … I let out a giant sob, feeling my entire body shake.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered, feeling the tears brim up behind my eyes. “I'm so sorry.”
And after that, I couldn't keep the tears from coming any longer. I choked on air as a lump formed in the back of my throat. That's when I spotted it. On the left side of Bill's grave, there was a hole that made it seem like dirt had caved in. The hole was big enough for my fist to fit through it. I wiped away my tears and placed my palm over the hole, tracing the circle with my index finger. I dug my fist into the fresh earth, ripping back grass and dirt and throwing it over the hole, snarling. If I ever saw anyone disrespecting Bill's grave … I sighed, letting the angry thoughts float away from my head. I leaned down and curled up next to Bill's grave, pulling my knees up to my chest and putting my hands underneath my head as a pillow …
I dashed into the bathroom, pulling back my dreads and lowering the cap on my head, watching myself in the mirror as a grin spread wide across my face as I tried the cap on all different ways. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, I felt a chill creep up my spine, making cold sweat appear on my forehead. And then he was there, behind me, his reflection in the mirror. But it wasn't him. He wasn't the same boy that drowned. He was as tall as me; he was skinny; his hair was raven black, but it had white streaks going through the front, and it stuck up everywhere like a porcupine; his face was soft, puppy-dog like; his nails were long and painted black; tight black clothes clung to his body.
“TOM!” he cried out, and I spun around, flying into the hamper.
And then he was gone. I reached up to try to close the bathroom door … but there was no bathroom door. My legs felt numb, and it was hard to stand. I pulled myself up using the sink, then limped to the doorway, gasping as I felt winded. I looked up and he was standing at the end of the hallway. Except this time, he smiled, and when I blinked, he vanished. Everything vanished. And I was left in the dark.
“Bill?” I whispered.