Ghost of You

I jumped as I flipped on the light switch. “Sarah? What're you doing in here?”

Sarah was sitting on my bed, my guitar in her lap and my song book resting on the guitar. She blushed, looking at me wildly. “I... I...” she stammered, knowing she was busted.

I slumped my shoulders and waved my hand in a it-doesn't-matter-I-don't-care type way. She smiled, but the turn of her lips vanished quickly. I went over and climbed next to her on the bed. I reached my hand up and stroked her beautiful brown hair, watching as she uncomfortably fingered the hem of her pink-and-blue teddy bear pajama shirt.

“You should probably be in bed,” I said after the silence started to break me.

“Yeah,” Sarah said softly, avoiding my eyes.

I jumped down from the bed, taking the book and guitar from Sarah's lap. I tossed the book to the foot of the bed. Holding the guitar in my right hand, I reached out my left to her. “C'mon,” I said.

Hesitating, she took my hand. I led her out of my bedroom and into the hall. Mr. and Mrs. Listing were arguing downstairs silently. Georg was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. He peered out of the door after us.



I flipped on the light switch, peering around her pink-walled bedroom. Her white floor was cluttered with toys in all four corners of her bedroom and in the center. I sighed and dropped her hand. She blushed and turned away as I looked at her.

“You're gonna have to clean your room, missy,” I said and she nodded.

I made my way through the sea of toys and onto the Disney bed, dragging the blankets down for Sarah to climb underneath. Sarah peered around her bedroom, half of her disappearing behind her dollhouse. She reappeared holding a large, white stuffed elephant. She made her way to the bed as well, climbing underneath the covers. I pushed the shell Princess Ariel was holding, letting it light up the bed before I switched off the overhead light. I climbed back onto the bed, folding my legs pretzel-style before settling the guitar down on my lap. I tuned the guitar, Sarah's eyes never leaving sight of me.

“Okay,” I said, strumming a few chords to make sure they were right, “relax and close your eyes.”

Sarah nodding, hugging her elephant safely.

I closed my eyes, letting my fingers glide along the strings for a few seconds. “Honey is for bees silly bear, besides there's jelly beans everywhere, it's not what it seems in the land of dreams, don't worry your head just go to sleep.”

I cooed out the lyrics to the lullaby I had written Bill as a child. I used to sing it to him when he couldn't sleep.

I let my fingers finish strumming the guitar strings as I ended the song. Sarah was snoring softly, her small body curled up. I smiled sweetly at her, slowly climbing from the bed so as not to wake her up. I leaned down and kissed her forehead softly before weaving back through the toys to the door. I took one last look at Sarah before heading into the hall.



Sighting as I shut my door, I went over to my bed, sliding the guitar underneath it. I dropped my song book down next to the bed, climbing up and under the covers. I didn't care that I hadn't taken a shower from our water fight, or that I hadn't put my pajamas on. The only thing I wanted was sleep.



I woke up in my bed, back at my old house, the covers wrapped around me tight, as if I was in a cocoon. I struggled with the covers, but they seemed to get tighter and tighter. I opened my mouth to scream, but the blanket wrapped around my throat and mouth and nose, squeezing down, the air escaping me. I felt like I was drowning all over again.

I beat my fist against the bed with my free arm, jerking it away from the sheet trying to grab it.

And then they were gone.

I let my hands explore my neck as I took gasping breaths. I fell to the floor, dragging the black hoodie I was wearing over my head. I closed my eyes. That felt a little better.

It took me a minute to stand up and regain my balance. Laughter floated through the cracked door, light accompanying it.

I went into the hall, peering around. It stretched on farther than I could remember. The hall twisted and turned like a fun-house, dizzying me. I gripped the wall, shutting my eyes, trying to keep myself from puking. Suddenly, the hall began to turn as fast as possible, until the entire hall was doing a 360. I gripped the handle of my door until it wasn't there anymore. No handle, no door. No doors on the other side of the hall, either. Just a spinning hall. I fell back, my butt crashing against the hall floor. Suddenly, the hall coming to a stop. The hall was normal-length again, a black silhouette standing at the other end. I couldn't make out who it was. At first, the person was tall, with shoulder-length hair. Their hands were on their hips, their body unmoving. As the person turned to go into the kitchen, I realized they were getting shorter and shorter.

Stumbling, afraid the hall would turn again, as quickly as possible, I made my way into the kitchen, squinting into the bright light. The kitchen was crowded. It was full of Georgs and Gustavs, Bills as well. Mr. and Mrs. Listings, Gordons, Moms and Dads. At first, they would be normal sized, and then a child or adult. Child Bill talking to teenage Gustav. Adult Mrs. Listing talking to old-aged Mr. Listing. Shrinking and growing, aging and un-aging, they all ignored me.

There was a loud drip, as if the faucet was leaking water. It wasn't. It grew louder and louder, ringing in my ears. I felt out of breath. I put my hand to my chest and pulled away at the feeling of a hole. I looked down. Blood covered my hands. The drip was from my blood. I was bleeding. There was a large hole in my chest.

Laughter from behind me. I turned around to find the Carnie, hidden from the light. He reached out, my pulsing heart quickening its beat in his hands. He tipped back his head and laughed again.